When we first met,I didn't like you, The comma here is not the right punctuation, I think. I'd end it with a period since your next line is a new sentence.Who would've ever guess[b]ed you' be my boo. Question mark instead of a period.When we first met,I knew it is true, Know instead of knew; present tense. Since your next line clearly states that you DIDN'T know, but you do now. Who would've [s]have[/s] thought I'd love you. Question mark.My thoughts were clear,When you whispered in my ear. These lines are a bit jarring, as you have a strict repetition in the beginning and in the end. Maybe keep them but make them into a separate stanza, so it's not like you just forgot the structure.When we first met,You asked me for my name,But who would have thought it could be all the same. Question mark. Here I'm confused; that WHAT could be all the same? I get that it rhymes with name, but it doesn't make sense.But now I know you are the one for me, Again, the comma isn't right here. A period, dash, colon...but not a comma.Now everyone can see,How true love is supposed to be. Aw. Very cute ending.
108,008 Literary Works • 575,142 Reviews