Young Writers Society

We deign to call him "princess."

...erm.
Would you read on?
What does it make you assume the story's about?

I'm quite intrigued about a male being called princess! There's an interesting dynamic suggested by this single sentence, and I'd probably read further. Knowing more about the story would gauge my interest better! (People bounce between the first line/paragraph/page/chapter being the important place to hook your reader )

I'd certainly be interested. My mind immediately jumps to a very effeminate/prissy guy who acts like royalty, and is shot down for his arrogance.

A point about word choice, though. "Deign" is for a character who lowers himself to doing something. A character who imagines a crown on his head wouldn't deign to do that; he would take pleasure in doing that and deign to do other things.

My suggestion would be to change it to something like "He walks with all the poise his invisible crown bestows. His subjects call him princess."

Mmmh. Transvestite royalty. I would read it, but I cannot promise I would like it. Or even finish it. It would have to be good. And probably funny.