Young Writers Society

1. pericarp
2. weather reports bring warnings of monachopsis: locals advised to keep out of own skulls
3. from the cave

apologies for lateness! and thank you for waiting<3

@BlueAfrica @LadyLizzLovelace @soundofmind @alliyah @DemonGoddess @Pompadour @Aley



I will be providing everyone with 3 poems to review. Your three reviews are due by the end of the month, the 31st. If you don't get done by the 31st, volunteers will be reviewing in your place so everyone gets feedback.

I have two lists, so if you finish before the 31st, do your review requests from List Two.



@BlueAfrica
rotate
When Spring Has Passed
Baby Pictures

@LadyLizzLovelace
weather reports bring warnings of monachopsis: locals advised to keep out of own skulls
Daylight Clarity
water fire stars [draft 2 of bowing standing flying]

@soundofmind
two reflections of my mind
pericarp
When Spring Has Passed

@alliyah
For you have never done anything
from the cave
holiday suicide

@DemonGoddess
Origin
best friends
False Impressions

@Pompadour
Live and Don't Die
False Impressions
best friends

@Aley
bowing standing flying
Where I'm From (for class)
rotate



@BlueAfrica
Live and Don't Die
For you have never done anything
weather reports bring warnings of monachopsis: locals advised to keep out of own skulls

@LadyLizzLovelace
best friends
When Spring Has Passed
Origin

@soundofmind
For you have never done anything
Daylight Clarity
10,000 Steps

@alliyah
rotate
Daylight Clarity
Origin

@DemonGoddess
Live and Don't Die
Baby Pictures
pericarp

@Pompadour
For you have never done anything
Baby Pictures
10,000 Steps

@Aley
two reflections of my mind
False Impressions
from the cave


Did I have to tag you three times? No. I wanted to make sure you could search your name though <3

Keep me updated on your progress please! If you finish a review, post about what you thought was interesting in the poem in this thread so we can talk about them. There's at least one other person reading every poem here! Let's make this a discussion.

Alright. I'm pretty sure I already reviewed holiday suicide, so that's one down XD

Huh, how did I miss that... Okay, I'll replace that one for you so you can review a different one of Lizzies for a fair show. Thanks @DemonGoddess!!

Okay, list has been updated so you can review Live and Don't Die if you get past list one.

Okay, thanks.

@Aley's poem Baby Pictures has basically the best description of babies ever:

little pink puddles of stacked playdough

Especially if you've seen a newborn. They're lumpy and have a form and are vaguely human-shaped, but also their limbs are everywhere and they can't lift their heads up.

Also, I hardcore related to this since people keep trying to show me pictures of their babies or relatives' babies, but...unless the baby is closely related to me, I couldn't care less. As it is, I don't want kids and even my nephew I'm like, "Okay, he's cute but I'm done now, please take him back." Or "he's cute but I've already seen these five other pictures of him so I think I'll skip this set."

~has finished my first list~

@soundofmind had a great metaphor for nostalgia and too much time spent looking back in "rotate." Plus a rhythm that matched the metaphor perfectly, which is precisely what I said in my review but it's so awesome that I had to say it again.

I really enjoyed the imagery and beautiful language in @alliyah's "When Spring Has Passed," as well! I recommend reading that one three times for maximum effect - I read it once all together, the italicized stanzas by themselves as a poem, and the non-italicized stanzas by themselves as a poem. It gave me new insights into the meaning, plus it was a new way of reading poetry for me.

Thanks for the feedback @BlueAfrica! <3

~ I've finished the first two on my list and am looking forward to getting to Pompadour's poem next ~

Both of the ones I've done so far were pretty dark, but in really different ways!

@DemonGoddess's poem relishes in anger in a poetic and emotional way.

And then @LadyLizzLovelace's poem "holiday suicide" is the perfect blend of quirky little details to really make the dark-scary vibe pop. This poem is a perfect read for October to get ready for Halloween.

I've reviewed @DemonGoddess's poem on my first list and @BlueAfrica's poem.

I'm really happy with how BlueAfrica's poem turned out. The imagery in that is really something to strive for in poetry, and I love the way it can transport you into the environment. I wonder if that's because of the connotations that some of the environmental stimuli had for me, like making jam and canning, and horses, and jelly, and beer dads, or if it was because of the imagery BA used.

*tries not to cry a little bit because your comments on my poem were so nice and I worked so hard on it and never felt like it was good enough*

I might try to trim it down. All the stuff I put in the exchange is from several years ago, but I'd like to start looking into revising my poetry (which I basically haven't touched since posting it originally) to submit to literary magazines.

It was just always extra-hard to write poems about home, especially when I was living away from home and completely miserable about it. There's always so much I want to put in, everything that ever mattered to me, and...like, that's nice for you, the writer, but it gets too be too much for readers, I think.

I think if you let some level of that come across to the reader, you end up with a poem that's memorable because it triggers memories for them too, such as the beer thing and the canning. Now, someone else who doesn't have those experiences might not feel the same love I felt for your poem, but something else, like maybe the train whistle, might get them. No matter who reads it, they're going to see the location. @blueafrica

Update:
~~I just finished my first list, now will hopefully get a few on the second~~

The last one I read was @Pompadour 's poem work/Pompadour/from-the-cave-137765?c=632436#c632436 which I feel like I maybe need to read 12 or so more times to get the full scope of the imagery. It was very very very layered. And I enjoyed having a chance to decipher the meaning in it. There are also some lovely nuggets of imagery and elegant, advanced word choice throughout. I recommend reading if you haven't had a chance yet!

@alliyah I have another of @Pompadour's poems in my second list and I read it earlier but I was like, "Whoa, I am going to need to ruminate on this and read it several more times before I actually attempt a review." It's so detailed and full of imagery! I'll have to read "from the cave" too.

I finished my first list and as @Aley and @Pompadour will probably attest if you cared to ask them, I typed way too much. Just spent too much time on the wrong things and my thoughts were an entirely different matter.

*pokes*

I'm about to get started on my second list, but I thought I'd poke this since it sort of fizzled out this week and we're not done yet.