Young Writers Society

Cole

"We are going to your house and we are packing you a bag. Whatever you need. Clothes, art supplies, your drawings, anything. And then we are going to my house." Rupert said this starting the car and backing out of the parking space.

My lip quivered. "I can't. The terms of my exchange contract... I have to stay at my host parents' house."

"Then you'll just be a couple of nights. Like a long sleepover." I nodded, rubbing my wrists with my hands.

"I need to shower," I said, "I had a rape kit done and they said that I can't shower after it happens, to save the DNA. His..." I didn't want to say the word.

"It's okay, Cole." Rupert replied, "You don't have to say it." he was so gentle but I could tell he was so angry that I'd been violated like that.

"Wait," he paused, "You read it online? You did research? This isn't the first time, is it?"

"The second." I whispered. He drove faster, pulling up next to my house.

"Let me go with you," he said.

"No. Tina is there but Dave isn't. She needs to think I'm staying at a friend's house for a week or so. I'll make up some excuse. If he suspects anything... I don't want him to do anything to cover his tracks or make it seem like I came on to him." Rupert finally relented.

"Okay," he said, "But I'll be right here. You have 10 minutes." I opened the car door and walked up to the house, shuddering as I put my hand on the handle of the front door.

I walked into the house, getting up the stairs the best I could with my crutches and throwing a bag together. I packed enough clothes for a week in a small suitcase, a sketchbook and some portable pencils and I put my schoolbag over my shoulders.

"Tina!" I called out.

"Yes, Cole?"

"I'm staying at a friend's house for a week, her parents are out of town and they don't want her there alone. I can check in with you over text if you want."

"Okay," Tina said, she walked up to me and brought my suitcase down the stairs for me.

"When will you be back?" she asks.

"Not sure, I won't be gone longer than 8 days." hopefully. If everything went as planned.

"Okay. Have fun!" I scurried out of the house just as I saw Dave's car driving up to the house. Rupert saw it as well and he pushed open the door for me, trying to help me get in the car without being seen. Just as I got in the car, my suitcase thrown in the backseat, Dave got out of his vehicle and leered at me. I felt my throat squeeze up, remembering what he'd done to me just hours before.

"Cole, come on," Rupert pulled me back to reality. He was my tether, my pull to the Earth. The reason gravity didn't let me go and let me go flying into space.

He drove off as I clenched my wrists with my fingernails, leaving half crescent shapes on my arms. I wanted to cry, wanted to scream. But really, I was numb.

"Are you okay?" Rup asked me, taking his eyes off the road for a moment to glance at me.

"I don't know," I said, "I don't know."

****

We got to his house and it was completely silent. I was aware of the fact that Rupert's parents were never there, after all, we'd spent lots of time in his lounge in the basement.

"Would you like your own guest room?" he asked and I nodded, wrapping my arms around myself. I would feel too vulnerable having him sleep next to me or even on the floor beside me.

"We have five guest rooms. Would you like to look around and see which one you'll like best or do you want me to choose the one I know you'll favor?" I shrugged, not really caring but not wanting to speak. I just wanted to shower.

He led me to a somewhat small but airy room. It was done in earthy greens and there was a set of double doors on the far side of the room, the clear glass covered in gauzy but thick curtains so I couldn't see outside. There were a few lanterns fixed into the ceiling along with the floor lamps and I knew I'd turn them on while I slept. Rupert crossed the room and pushed open the doors, revealing his backyard, there was a garden and a pool and a small benched in gazebo. I'd never seen Rupert's backyard. Everything was fenced in but there was a gate leading out. I felt a bit safer. If someone came into my room, I could get out.

I walked into the bathroom. The tile floors were clean and there were white plush bath mats on the floor. there as a large shower stall and then a oval shaped tub next to it, the sink was a double vanity, so there were two. Rupert was right, I did like this room.

"I think I'm going to take a bath," I said, pulling off my sweater to reveal a baggy t shirt underneath. A few weeks ago, that t shirt would've fit nicely on me.

"I'll go, then," Rup said, turning to the door.

"No." I pleaded. "Will you sit outside the door? I don't want to be alone." he nodded, cracking the door and leaning his back against the door frame. I pulled off my clothes, examining my thin body in the mirror. My ribs were visible and my breasts had gotten smaller. My thigh gap was extremely wide. I wasn't skeletal, not at that point yet, but I was definitely skinnier than what was healthy.

I drew the bath, the steam from the hot water enveloping me. I sank into the warmth, my body finally relaxing. I finally had Rupert. And I knew he would protect me.

Jules

School passed slowly but final exams were coming up and everybody was rushing to review. Summer was in a month, after all. I kept dressing up and having weird dreams about James, sometimes April as well. Sometimes she and I would be wearing sombreros while walking through a park and sometimes we lived together in an igloo for a year. I told her about all of them and it made her laugh. She was growing more comfortable with me which I liked.

I was wearing dark high waisted shorts and a low necked red shirt tucked into the waistband with flats. It definitely was one of my more revealing outfits but I still laughed when James whistled at me as I walked down the hallway.

"Hel-lo gorgeous, have we met?" he joked, poking my nose. I shoved him playfully.

"Oh hush, James."

He walked me to Spanish like he always does.

"Listen," I said, turning to him just before the classroom door, "This week is observation week before the dance studio's final performance in like a month. Basically, people invite friends and family to sit in on a dance class to see what the dancers have been doing all year. I was wondering if you wanted to come."

"Sure," James said, "I'd love to watch you twirl in a tutu."

"Actually," I replied, "I was thinking hip hop. All the parents want to go to ballet because they're familiar with it but not hip hop. There's a limited amount of seats for each class because they can't take up too much studio room. Plus I figured you'd enjoy that more, we do slightly inappropriate things sometimes." I laughed. "Are you in?"

"Definitely. How about I take you for dinner after?" he smiled, running his fingers through his hair which still stayed perfect.

"Why James!" I exclaimed in mock surprise, "Is this you finally asking me out?"

"Yes, indeed it is," he said.

"Dinner sounds good, I'll text you the address to my dance studio. The class is going to be Friday after noon from 3 to 5, the dance mom at the desk will direct you." I hugged him before entering the classroom and waving to April.

I sat down as her eyes traveled over my body, probably just checking out my outfit.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey," she smiled, "Is that guy your boyfriend?"

"No, but he asked me out." I grinned, a little giddy with excitement.

"That's great." but she didn't sound convincing.

"That reminds me," I said, "My dance studio is doing observation week so we can bring our friends and family to a dance class. James is coming to hip hop and my host parents are coming to ballet... I have a cha cha class Wednesday after school. Do you want to come?"

April brightened at this, "Yeah, definitely. You're a really good dancer."

"Thanks."

The rest of the class was spent laughing and joking, we had a substitute teacher and the only work we had to do was a short worksheet. April told me about the asian jokes people made about her and I told her about the mexican jokes people made about me, even though my lineage was only half latin american and none of my ancestors had been from Mexico.

"What do you like to do for fun, April?" I asked as the bell rang and we started packing up.

"Not much," she said, "I mean you're a great dancer but I'm not really good at a whole lot. Just never tried."

"Maybe I could teach you to dance?" I asked, shoving a stubborn notebook into my bag before swinging it over my shoulder. This made her laugh.

"I'm about as coordinated as an elephant on rollerskates," she said, and then of course I started thinking about elephants on rollerskates.

"Snapchat me, kay? Gotta go to Calculus with James." He walked up just then taking my arm and I waved cheerfully at April. She eyed him suspiciously. She was such a good friend, looking out for my best interests.

"I'll send you lots of funny selfies," she said, smiling, and then she walked away.

James

I had never been to a "hip hop" dance recital and never in my life had I ever wanted to go to one but when Juliette asked me to go, her smile just made me instantly tell her I would. Now I would have to go. I didn't mind too much but it was crazy how her smile affected me like that.

I walked to her Spanish class so we could get to Calculus, I was ready to get the day over with so I could get home and do some work out exercises.

"So you're sure you will make it to the dance class?" Jules asked me, concern on her face.

"Of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world." I replied.

"Good," she said with a smile, "I wouldn't want to save you a spot just for you not to show."

I sighed to myself as I opened my book to the chapter we were on today. My phone beeped and I looked at it.

Can you meet me somewhere? I need someone to talk too.. it's important..

It was Isabelle. She probably just needed to rant or something. Ever since April quit being her friend, she didn't really have anyone to talk too.. besides Jessie.

They used to be the best of friends until their little fight happened.

"What's going on?" Jules asked.

"Isabelle Is having issues I guess. She asked me to meet her somewhere." I replied.

Yeah. Iz. My place in like 10 minutes? I sent the text.

"Are you going to go meet her?" she asked.

I shook my head yes.

"Sorry I have to miss out on lunch." I told her.. it made me a little upset because I know Jules and I always had her lunch hour together. She was a great girl.

"I'll sit with April. It'll be okay." she said with a smile.

"Can I go to the bathroom?" I asked the teacher, interrupting class.

She gave me an evil look and I got up and left.

*~*~*~*

"I kissed Philip." Isabelle immediately told me as I walked into my house.

My eyes were wide with shock. I kind of was speechless.

"His lips were so soft and it was amazing.. he was a great kisser. I had butterflies and everything. Oh my god, I just can't tell Jessie.. what will she think? She is gonna hate me."

"Calm down and speak a little slower." I tried to make her stop freaking out. There was nothing she could do about her feelings.

"James you just don't realize what trouble this is.. I.. I think I really really really like him and I don't want him to think I am some girl who just goes after every guy. It's strange but I am so scared of what he truly thinks of me." she said.

Wow. I never saw her this hung up on a guy, well never mind, her and Paul were pretty serious.

"If you don't tell her she will find out by someone else eventually. Then what?" I asked her.

She stopped pacing my kitchen and went to sit on the couch. I grabbed a bottle of apple juice from the fridge and made her a cup.

She pressed her finger to her lips and just sat there. I didn't know what she was going to do. Honestly you shouldn't go after your friends ex's or even the father to her child.

"I'm the godparent to her child, James. If she hates me... then I will never see Issac again and I could possibly ruin Philips chances of seeing his child. He doesn't deserve that just because of me.. I've caused enough issues in peoples lives..."

Philip Masterson

I had my hands on her waist as I pressed myself against her, wishing this kiss would last forever. Our lips brushed against each other, craving more lips. My heart was going wild as my body felt right, as if, this was my destiny, my fate. There was nothing wrong, it was perfect.

Then she pulled away, her eyes wild. I was catching my breath when she pushed me gently, walking away. I didn't know what to tell her. I was frozen by the strong connection we had. I've never had that before.

"Philip?" I looked towards the gym and saw Kathy, hes eyes glistening with fresh tears.

"I'm not even sorry." I admitted. "I'm in love with her, we were fake."

"What do you mean?" she sniffled.

"You don't love me Kat, you dated me to get back at Rupert. And I dated you because I was lonely. There's nothing really there."

She took a step toward me, leaning against the door frame of the double doors. Her shirt was still sticking to her chest, her sweat fresh.

"So you don't think there's a connection between us? How about when we kiss, have sex? That's nothing to you?" she paused, letting tears drip down her cheeks. "It's everything to me."

"Stop lying Kathy!" I hissed. "You and I both know this isn't real."

"I was in the hospital with you!" she rose her voice.

I took a step back, running my hand down my face. Her mascara was starting to run and her cheeks got a bright red. I caught my breath in my throat, wanting to apologize to her. But I stopped myself.

"And I appreciate that. But Kathy, I know you still love Rupert. This 'us' thing is because he cheated on you."

She took in a deep breath and composed herself, wiping her fingers under her eyes to remove the makeup.

"I love you." she said.

"I don't," I paused. "I never felt anything like what I feel with Isabelle."

"You don't even know her."

"I want to know her."

And that was when her eyes met mine and I had the urge to hug her, to make her happy. But then there was that hint of 'thank God it's over' which pushed me away. I smiled, watching her tears stop. I turned around and headed down the hallway, on a mission to find Isabelle.

I needed to kiss her again.

Rupert Jean Franz

Cole had a fragile figure now. Everything was smaller, thinner, sick. It wasn't a healthy weight loss. And it shook me. I was sitting by the bathroom door, thinking about when I saw her today. So thin. So weak.

The door opened from behind me and I saw her in her pajamas. There was a small smile on her face, forced. I smiled back and stood up, unable to look away from her. There were dark circles under her eyes, causing my heart to crack.

I hated seeing her like this. This wasn't her. I wanted her happy again.

Her again.

"Better?" I whispered.

She nodded, unable to look away from me. A tension filled between us as I ached to touch her. Any part of her. I looked down at her soft lips, complimenting her tan skin.

But I couldn't have her. She left me. She was hurt. She wouldn't want me, not now.

And I understood that

"I'll go shower, are you going to be okay or...?" I asked, breaking the tension only slightly.

Her eyes shifted from my lips to my eyes. "Can I sit inside? I won't look."

"You know you're safe here, he won't get to you."

"Please,"

I smiled, walking into the bathroom. She sat on the toilet which was opposite the counters. I walked over to the shower, turning on the water. It clunked against the tub as I began to undress. But I stopped before taking off my pants because she was staring.

Not in awe, in fright.

"Cole?" I asked.

Her eyes met mine, and suddenly she stopped shaking.

"I wouldn't hurt you, you know that. I think you should sit outside."

She nodded, getting up and walking passed me. I watched her shut the door slightly. I climbed into the shower, washing down my body.

All I could think about how nuts all of this all. I started to cry.

***

"Okay, you're going to sleep?" I asked.

Cole was lying on my bed when I got out of the shower. Seeing her there only made my heart flutter. I missed her.

Water was dripping from my hair onto my clothes, but I could care less. I walked over to the bed as she sat up, keeping a distance between us. It killed me that I couldn't kiss her since that's all I wanted to do. But she was in pain. She was hurt, I don't think she's ready to have another man touch her after he did. But I loved her, that's different. She should know that.

"I'm a little tired, yeah." She said, her voice monotone.

"It's so hard not to kiss you right now Cole," I admitted, looking away from her.

She didn't say anything at first, leaving me hopeless. I took a deep breath and met her eyes, catching tears building up in them.

"It's hard for me too,"

Somehow, it's like that's what I needed to hear.

Paul Jenkins

I knew it when I saw her the next day. I heard about Philip... but now I know who found him. The day after his accident, she was lost. She was sad. How was I so blind?

Isabelle fell for him.

It was obvious.

"So, Isabelle is out of the picture?" Dafnie asked.

"You must be happy..." I huffed.

"Ha, far from it. You must be happy."

"Not really..."

There was a pause, I could hear voiced in the background. I shifted in my bed, unable to find a comfortable position.

"I'm sorry Paul."

"It's fine, she found someone else."

"What?"

"I really don't think you want to know who."

"Yes, I do."

I took a deep breath and switched my phone to the other ear. It was around one in the morning. This was the only time I could reach her. I would have thought she would not let me see her until she came back, but no, she gave me her number in England. Which was convenient for right now.

"It's Philip."

She didn't reply for a moment. "Masterson?"

"Yup." I popped the 'p'.

"That's fucked up."

"Tell me about it."

***

I was at school and the day seemed to either drag or never end. All the people seemed like nothing to me and the classes went by in a blur. My mind was foggy as I tried not to cry every second. I think I saw Isabelle once. And Philip. But not together.

I had no one. And I needed someone.

Jane Wills

The school looked too pristine. As if I was far from belonging here. I had Emmett next to me, his hand in mine. I gripped harder, letting the anxiety wear me out.

"Babe, you good?" he whispered into my ear.

I nodded, scanning out the area. We were in the main hall where there were stairs on either side of us, leading up or down. Students were cluttering to get to their classes. I guessed that we might have been running late.

"Let's go explore." I smiled, ignoring my nervousness.

"There she is." he smiled back.

***

Isabelle

James was really no help. He told me shit I already knew. Yes, I fucked up by making out with my best friends ex lover/baby daddy. He didn't need to keep bringing up how bad it was.

"Fuck James! I know I messed up, okay? You don't need to keep rubbing it in my damn face." I yelled.

His eyes grew wide and I instantly threw a pillow and hit him in the head. My anger was getting fueled and I got up to leave.

"I'm sorry Iz, you don't have to leave." he told me, I could hear the cracking in his voice.

"I'm over this. Bye." I replied and slammed his front door as I walked out.

*~*~*~*

Please talk to me April... you know I wouldn't mean to hurt you. Ever. At least not on purpose... I really need someone right now..... I sent the text and sat in my car. I was sitting in the front of Jessie's house, I in no way wanted to go in there.. at least not yet.

Iz... I just can't. </3 I'm sorry you are going through a hard time right now but I am currently busy with some stuff I have to do today. Good luck baby girl. <3 April's text was damn near heart breaking. I missed her.

*~*~*~*
Today I just kept thinking about Philip. The kiss we shared was so passionate and I felt on fire. We didn't know each other that much which was the crazy part. I think the first time I ever started liking him was the day he showed up at Jessie's to help with the surprise baby shower.

I liked the fact he was trying to step up and that was a huge turn on, and then when he got hurt... I just needed to see him. Luckily I was there to be close to him while he was all alone and waiting for cops or even an ambulance.

Hey you. Meet me at Starbucks? I sent the text to Philip.

On my way. he replied.

I couldn't help but smile, he was the only person there when I asked him to be. Which really was the sad part.. I thought I had friends but right now he is the only one. Besides Jessie but I could never tell her what happened.

I walked into Starbucks and saw someone I hadn't seen in a few days... Paul. My heart raced, I guess it was because I hadn't seen him since we broke up. He didn't see me and I was okay with that. I went and sat in a corner booth all the way on the side where it had a big table where no one could see over it. I didn't wanna be seen.

Philip showed up a few minutes later and I had butterflies flutter through my stomach. I hadn't seen him since earlier today in which we had that amazing kiss. Which we needed to talk about.

I stood up and smiled, he didn't waste any time. He grabbed me by the waste and pulled me in, I practically melted under his fingers. His mouth was forceful and it made it so hot. His lips were so soft and I didn't want to stop... but I did.

We were in Starbucks.

I caught my breath and we both sat down.

"So..uhm. I was wondering if you'd like to uh.. go on a date with me?" I asked. My face was already flushed so you couldn't tell if I was truly blushing or not.

"Are you really asking me that?" he laughed.

My heart ripped.. was he telling me no?

"I am supposed to ask you that." he clarified.

Relief fled through my body, so it wasn't a rejection.

"I don't mind asking people out first." I said, smiling.

"Yes, Isabelle, I will go on a date with you. I'm paying though."

There went the butterflies again. He made me completely happy.

"I want to get to know each other a little better." I told him. We both smiled. His eyes were gorgeous and I couldn't say anything, he had me hooked.

*~*~*~*

Somewhere between talking and flirting we ended up in his truck. I sat in his lap in the middle of Starbucks parking lot and we were making out.

I was sex deprived so if I could have... I would have ripped his clothes off right then and there.

We stopped for a second to take a breath and we both laughed.

"Am I crazy? Are we crazy? What are we doing?" I asked, breaking the nervous ice.

I lightly brushed my fingers over his left cheek and forcefully kissed his forehead.

"I think this is crazy." he admitted, we both knew it was. I got in the passenger seat and sat there. Recovery was much needed. I was still quite "hot."

Philip Masterson

The talking in Starbucks was amazing. It was one of those talks that seem to last forever and you talk about everything. It's not awkward or forced, it's real. But then we were in my car, instant connection led us to making out.

It was hot and all I itched to do was tear the clothes off of her. She was on my lap, grinding on me, but we were fully clothed, so don't worry. I could feel how warm she was and how hard I was getting because of that.

But she pulled away, too excited and flustered. I agreed with her, this was a bit off. Jessie wouldn't be too happy knowing and... we barely knew each other. But I feel like I've known her all my life. I didn't want this to be weird. I wanted this to be right, because I feel so right.

She sat on the passenger seat and took a few deep breaths. My heart was racing as I tried to calm myself down.

"I want to be with you Isabelle." I loved saying her full name.

I looked at her and noticed she was looking at me. Her eyes were so beautiful, I just wanted her all to myself.

"I want to be with you too." she paused, looking away for a moment. "But we can't. Jessie will hate this, she will revoke your right from seeing Isaac, and that wouldn't be worth it."

"She wouldn't," I huffed.

She shook her head, looking back at me. "Phil, she would. She hates you, she's giving you this chance. And sleeping with me, being with me, will ruin your chances. And mine."

"Yours?" I questioned.

"She wants me to be the godmother." a smile grew on her face.

My heart skipped a beat as I watched her face lit up. That one thing Jessie did changed everything. Isabelle deserves to be the godmother. And I will fuck that up because I always fuck everything up. But, can't she see that we are meant to be and forgive us?

"Oh Isabelle," I sighed. "That's amazing."

I took her hand over the gear shift and squeezed lightly, enjoying the sparks that flew up my arm.

"And that's what I'm saying. I want us to be an us, but we can't. At least, not now. Jessie needs to be convinced that you're amazing." She said.

"I don't think that's fair. I really like you."

"I really like you too,"

I sighed, letting the silence settle in between us. I would do anything to be with her, there's no way Jessie would stop me. I understood what Isabelle was saying, but, I've never felt this way for anyone in my life. This was it. This was that one person you waited for. But, I'll stay away for a little, until I figure out how to get her back.

"I guess this is it then," I said, pulling my hand away. "Now we will pretend that we don't even have feeling for each other."

"Philip," She sighed.

Our eyes met, making my heart race.

"I understand, this is for the better good. You're right."

Jessie

It'd been a long day. A long, long day. I wasn't entirely sure what time it was. Or what the date was. I knew that Adrian wasn't here, which meant he was probably still at school. So it had to be somewhere between 8-2. I didn't care enough to investigate more.

Isaac's shrill screams filled the vacant air for the hundredth time today, and I honestly felt like joining him; screaming at the top of my lungs, flailing around in my bed, demanding someone pay attention to me. But I knew that if I were to do that, I'd at least have to wait until Adrian got here.

"Mama's coming," I mumble, and push myself off of the couch, "shh, mama's coming."
In his crib, he'd somehow managed to kick the blanket off of him, and his little mittens had slipped off. With a sad smile, I lift him from his prison, not even bothering to grab his mittens.

"Oh, you poor thing," I laugh, and navigate my way back to the couch. After flopping down on it, I cradled Isaac against my chest, reluctant on feeding him; I was going to, of course, but my breasts were sore and overflowing with milk. Probably a sign that I did need to feed him. "I bet you miss daddy, hm? Yeah, I do, too.."

Deciding to wait at least a couple more minutes to feed him, I lean my head back against the couch, and rest my eyes. He'd stopped screaming once I picked him up, and I figured he'd be okay for just a few more minutes.

Apparently, I was wrong, because before I knew it, he was screaming at the top of his lungs. I snapped to attention, my heart skipping a few too many beats, and- and-
I started at the light scratch across his cheek, my heart pounding, my head throbbing from his screams, and my heart aching for what had happened.

The poor baby scratched himself. Because I forgot to put his mittens back on him. Why would I do such a thing?

Even though it was a small scratch, not even deep, a tiny trickle of blood sailed down his chubby cheek. It was enough to make me break.

The tears began to stream down my face, and it was kind of ridiculous, but at that moment I began to ask myself why I did everything that I did.

That only lasted a few minutes, though, because my instincts kicked in and I remembered that he was still screaming. Grabbing the diaper bag that was a few feet away from me, I dig through it until I find a band-aid and neosporin. It didn't take long to clean up the little cut, but I still felt awful as he ate ten minutes later.

I unlocked my phone, hit contacts, and dialed Adrian's number. It rang once, before he picked up.

"Hello?" the sound of his voice made me feel slightly better, but then I looked down at Isaac and the dread filled me again.
"Hey," I grumble, and adjust my phone to where it sat between my ear and my shoulder, "so, I'm kind of freaking out? Mentally?"
"Why? What happened?" Adrian's voice was kind of calm, of course, but you could hear the panic and worry in it. "Are you okay? Isaac?"

"I-I...well, I forgot to put Isaac's mittens back on after getting him out of his crib, then I wasn't paying attention, and-and...he scratched his face and I feel so bad and I just...I need you, Adrian," I sigh, and fix Isaac's sleeve, "Are you still at school?"

"I was actually just leaving," he says, and clears his throat, "listen, it's okay. These kinds of things happen. I'll be there in five."

"Okay," I nod, though he can't see me, "okay. I'll see you then."

I hung up then, and tossed my phone beside me.

I was so glad that Adrians timing was so accurate, because 5 minutes later, he was kicking open the door and tearing off his jacket.

"Oh, god, I'm glad you're here," I groan, and refrain from standing up; Isaac was dozing off a little, and I didn't want to bother him. "I feel awful. It was just a little scratch, barely any blood, but fuck...it's not hard to slip mittens on."

"Jess, this isn't your fault," Adrian lets out a small laugh, and strides over to me, planting a kiss on my forehead. "I told you, these kinds of things happen. It was just a matter of time."

I shake my head, finding that hard to believe; though I knew it was probably true.

"Right," I sigh, and put my breast back into my bra, "you want him, daddy?"

Adrian nods, and carefully lifts Isaac from my chest, "What've you done today?"

"I let my son scratch himself," I reply glumly, and shrug when he shoots me a look. "I fed him when you woke me up this morning, gave him a bath, gazed admiringly at him for about half an hour, fed him again, let him sleep, cursed myself for letting him hurt himself after he woke up, then called you. And here we are."

"Have you eaten anything?" his eyebrows scrunch together, as he glances at me quickly, then goes back to examining the baby's cheek. "Showered? Relaxed?"

"I have no idea how to do any of that," I admit, and slump against the couch; a shower sounded nice, actually. A hot shower. No, wait-- a hot bubble bath. Oh yeah. "I'm sorry, Ade. Dad left a little after you did this morning, so I couldn't do anything."

"You could've called me and told me that, Jessie!" He's frowning at me now, and I feel guilty for some reason; as if everything was my fault. His expression softened, and he moved swiftly, and quietly, onto the couch next to me. "Look, we're in this together. I promised you I'd be here for Isaac, and for you. Whenever you need something, you have to tell me."

I nod, and wipe away tears that I was confused about; when did I start crying? Why did I start crying? Shouldn't I be in the bathtub right now?

"Look, I got him," Adrian said softly, and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "Go take a nice, long bath, yeah? After that, we'll go out to eat. Maybe even order Isaac a medium-rare steak-" I cracked a smile at this, and sit up fully. "-okay? Promise me you'll stop holding off on asking for help. Nous sommes dans le même bateau."

Although I still wasn't the best at French-- even though I was dating a French guy-- I could still tell what he meant. It made sense, really. We are in the same boat. Pretty much what he'd said earlier.

"A bath sounds nice," I mumble dreamily, and stare in awe at the wonderful smile that spread across his lips, that looked extremely soft. "a-a lip sounds nice. Er, kiss?"

Adrian laughs, then, and shakes his head, "Maybe you should take a nap, too."

"Probably," I laugh, as well, and let my shoulders lower as the boy leans forward, suddenly, and locks lips with me. God, I could sit here for forever. After a moment, though, Adrian pulled away, and leaned back on the couch.

"Go," he grinned, fiddling with the hem of Isaac's collar, "before we leave without you."
With another smile, I turn away, and head to the bathroom.

Although there were many hardships, I wouldn't give up this life for anything. I wouldn't trade my child for anything. I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend. Better father. Better-- or, well, my mother could use some improvement, but that was beside the point.

I didn't waste any time running myself a bath with lavender scented bath salts. I also didn't waste any time tearing my cloths off and sinking into the steaming hot water.

April

I found my fingers flowing through out my wavy curls, tonight was Jule's cha cha recital sit in and I had given myself a big blow out of a look. I wanted to feel gorgeous.

My hair was in huge wavy curls and I was wearing a bright pink mini dress with my black 4 inch heels. They were my favorite heels and I only wore them on special occasions.

I sprinced some perfume on that smelled like Raspberries and sniffed the air, it was an amazing perfume.. which was also my favorite.

"April! Get down here." my mother yelled.

Great. What did I do today. She sounded angry.

"Yes?" I asked as I peeked down the staircase.

"Your dad wants you to be ready soon. We are going to dinner." she told me.

My eyes widened. I told her I was going to my friends dance already.

"No. I can't mom. I told you Juliette's recital Is today. I won't miss it. I told her I would be there." I told her, annoyed.

I loved my mom but sometimes she was a total pain, especially since I got out of the hospital. I am perfectly fine and she acts like I cant do anything on my own anymore.

"Fine. I will tell your father you had a project to be done so you couldn't make it." she sighed and went to the kitchen, most likely to drink a cup of coffee, her addiction.

*~*~*~*

"Wow, you look beautiful." I told Juliette as I finally found her. She was roaming around I guess to get things situated for the recital. It would be time for her to start soon.

"Thank you so much. You look gorgeous yourself." she replied.

I couldn't help but smile. That was one of my favorite things to be told. Compliments definitely boosted my ego.

"Well you can sit there." she pointed to a chair in the second row. I obliged and she left to go in the back.

I guess practice was about to start.

*~*~*

The teacher was standing there and the music began to play. They were all wearing quite the revealing piece of clothing.

I couldn't help but watch the way she moved so gracefully in such a sexy way. It seemed like she knew exactly what she was doing. I looked away because I was beginning to feel a little hot in the face.

When I turned to look to the left of me, my mouth dropped. Oh no. was all I kept saying in my head.

He looked my way and then it all flooded back, my heart racing, his lips on mine. The love I once had... he was here... in Washington.... at a dance practice.

"April? Is it really you?" he asked in a whisper, it was sort of a laugh like he didn't realize we'd be in the same city. How the hell did he get here when we lived in Missouri??? What was going on.

The practice was still going on and I felt bad that I wasn't actually watching, the feelings and heated choices were racing through my head.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, half choking my question.

He smiled, "Well, my fiancé dances here."

I thought my heart stopped.

fiancé?

"You.. you have a fiancé?" I questioned.

Duh. He just said so.

"Yeah. In fact, she is up there now. Her name is Meghan." He pointed to a short blonde girl, she was American it looked like.

"That's.. that's great. I'm happy for you. Well, my friend Jules is up there too. That's why I am here.." I told him.

He looked on stage. His eyes widened once he saw Jules.

"I think I have met her." he stated.

I got up. All of this was too much.

I looked at Juliette one last time and just had to walk out. I saw her catch a glimpse of Lee and he was staring at me confused like he didn't know what happened.

Tonight is done.

*~*~*~*

Where are you? Are you okay? It was a text from Jules. I felt so bad that I left.

I'm.. I will be okay. Dinner to make up for leaving? I sent the text.

Isabelle

Before I got out of Philips truck I kissed him one last time. This wasn't how I wanted this to end. It feels to soon.

"Can I show you something?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Well, it is kind of a ways from here. Want to ride in my car?"

Luckily he agreed and we got inside my little ole' mustang. It was a big difference compared to his truck.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

I sighed and with that came back memories from my child hood. The good ones.

"When I was younger, before my mom like passed away and stuff she owned this cabin out in the woods. It has a lake by it and everything, in fact my dad owns it now that she is gone. Anyways, my mom and I used to go there to get away from my father on his binge drinking days. It is a beautiful place. No one knows about it, not even any of my friends. I go out there from time to time but I am not aloud to live out there or I would have done that a long long time ago."

I finally finished my ramble and I turned off onto a road named "Old Creek Road." the sign always made me feel good because I knew we'd be there shortly.

"I'm sorry you lost your mother. I didn't know." he said, concern on his face.

I felt as though I could tell him anything. He was already perfect in my eyes and I wish Jessie would see that he made a mistake but she shouldn't hold it against us being together.

"So.. here it is." I said and turned into the kind of long drive way to a decent size cabin. I smiled, I hadn't been out here in weeks.

"Wow. It looks pretty amazing." he admitted.

I knew this. This was home. Sometimes when I am sitting by the lake, I think I felt my mother there with me.

"Want to take a tour?" I asked.

He nodded and I took the key from my pocket. I had already planned to take a trip out here today. It was my rock, my thinking place.

"This is the living room area." I said as I pointed to all of the furniture and antiques on the table.

The kitchen was in the same space so all he had to do was look at the view of the house.

He rubbed his fingers against the wood on the walls.

"Yup. All wood. An actual cabin."

We went to the only bedroom in the house and I sat on the bed. He was still looking around so I just laid there. It was peaceful.

Jules

April came wearing a hot, pink minidress with high heels that made her legs go on for miles. She looked really nice and I felt something stir inside me that I quickly brushed aside. I was wearing a sexy cha-cha outfit that clung to my body and showed off my chest, backside and my legs. She blushed a little bit, stammering, but I understood. It was difficult to be able to look a half naked person straight in the eye.

I was a little puzzled when she left halfway through but I had to continue the practice with my partner, Juan. He was shorter for a guy wich is why they paired me with him, because I was the only girl who didn't come too close to his height.

I was twirling and twisting my body around his, trying to relax for the lifts though I was scared. I'd only been paired with him for a few weeks as opposed to my male partner back in Spain who I'd danced with for two years.

April texted me to go out to dinner and I'd agreed, throwing on a halterneck white sundress with a subtle purple floral print along with wedge heels. I hurriedly wiped the sweat off my face and put on some makeup. My hair was already pulled up in a bun from the lesson and was hairsprayed heavily in place so I decided to leave it.

"Are you okay?" I asked, running out of the dance studio to catch up to her. "I saw you talking to that guy, Lee. He's engaged to one of the girls at the studio."

"Yeah," she replied, biting her lip, "I met him a couple times once." We got in her car and she began to drive to the restaurant. It felt somewhat awkward, like a date. I just didn't really know her that well and wasn't sure what to say.

I played with the hem of my dress before getting out and heading into the restaurant with April, smiling as she tossed her hair mockingly. She'd gone through a lot of trouble to curl it into soft waves and I felt slightly self conscious of my standard bun.

We sat down in the restaurant and ordered drinks.

"Do they card here?" I asked her quietly, in Spain I'd sometimes have a drink with my dinner on special occasions and was disappointed to hear about the drinking laws in America.

April shook her head. "No they don't. But I got in my car accident because I was drinking so I'd rather not drink tonight."

"That's fine," I nodded. Glad she'd decided that since she was driving. The waiter walked up to me and asked for our orders. He was young, maybe in his early twenties and looked like the kind of guy who didn't get out much.

"Hi," I said, "Can I get a martini?" he looked at me blankly, unsure of what to do.

"Do you have ID?" he asked me.

I feigned a sheepish look, intensifying my Spanish accent. "I am from Spain," I said in the thick accent, "I do not know about showing ID in restaurant." I subtly adjusted my sundress, flashing a little bit more of my breasts than normal and he stammered.

"Sure, um. Coming right up." I smiled and April ordered her food while I ordered mine, pointing at the menu and speaking in that thick Spanish accent. As the waiter walked away April and I giggled, though I caught her staring at the halter neckline of my dress. I'd left it pulled down.

I giggled and pulled it back up, taking a long drink of my martini when it came. We spent the rest of the night talking and laughing before we stood up to leave, the check payed. I swayed a little, my vision doubling. I'd had more to drink than I thought and I realized I was a little tipsy.

"Hey April, I need some water. I need to sober up before I get home." she nodded, taking my arm and led me out of the restaurant, depositing me in her car.

I felt something loosen behind me and watched my strapless bra fall to the floor. The hooks were bent and I retrieved it, looking at it as it doubled and I giggled at the thought of having 4 boobs. April eyed my dress, my breasts nearly tumbling out of the halter dress at that point.

"You're bi, aren't you?" I asked, staring down at my chest, my voice somewhat slurred.

"What? No." she said, biting her lip.

"You loved Isabelle," I said, suddenly getting serious.

"Yeah," she whispered, not able to take her eyes off of the neckline of my dress.

That's when I put the pieces together. All the nervous glances, her odd behavior when I'd said I was going out with James, the way she looked at me in my costume earlier and the way she'd look at what I was wearing when I wore something particularly sexy or nice. April liked me. And there I was, drunk, sitting in her car.

I leaned across the center console and kissed her. It was a sloppy, drunk, kiss, but it still felt good. Intensely good. She froze in surprise at first.

"Jules, you're drunk." I knew she didn't want to take advantage of me and I wasn't sure about what I was doing. But I reached back and untied the halter on my dress, the straps falling down and exposing my chest.

The breath hissed out of her lungs and I leaned into kiss her again, climbing over the gearshift of the car to straddle her. My dress was hiked up to my hips and we made out, our hands roaming everywhere. Her hands were in my hair, on my chest, leaving me breathless. I went to lift up the hem of her skimpy mini dress.

"Stop," she said, breathing hard. I pouted, giggling again.

"Jules, you're drunk. As much as I'd love to do this," she clenched her legs together, "This isn't right. I don't want to take advantage of you and do something you'll regret."

She reluctantly took my strapless bra and helped me out of the car, covering me with my dress as she led me around to the other side. She had me turn around, searching in the dark for someone who may have seen. Then she clasped my bra behind me and retied my dress, although I complained, laughing and talking about nonsense the entire time.

She drove me home and it was late. My host parents had left a note on the door saying to come in quietly because Sam had gone to sleep early and Martha didn't like to go to bed without Sam. So no matter how awake she was, she generally went to bed with him. April helped me inside, hushing me as I stumbled through the dark house.

She stayed outside the door as I underessed, respecting my privacy before coming in and helping me into bed.

I reached out and touched her nose but my vision was swimming and I missed, touching her cheek instead. Of course, this just made me giggle harder. She hushed me.

"Goodnight, Jules," she said, kissing my forehead. And then she left.

And the next morning, I woke up extremely confused with an awful hangover.

Adrian

Jessie kept getting extremely overwhlemed with the baby and was doing most of her coursework online at that point. So when I walked in to see Isaac bleeding and Jessie crying, I almost panicked. But I knew I needed to keep it together for her so I took Isaac, cleaned him up and made Jessie take a bath.

"Hey sweet boy," I whispered to him, cradling his bundled figure against my chest. He was asleep but I noticed he'd gotten heavier pretty quickly. He looked more and more like Jessie and Philip every day which I didn't like. Isaac was my son, whether he had my Y chromosome or not. He was still my son. It made me nervous knowing he would probably look a lot like his biological father when he grew up.

Isaac stirred just then and he blinked his wide, blue eyes at me. He started cooing, like most babies do and reached out his little arms for me. His mouth turned up into a toothless grin which automatically made me smile. I was getting very familiar with Isaac and that warmed my heart.

I took off Isaac's blanket, lifting him so his feet were resting gently on my knees. I kept his head propped up with a few of my fingers. He kicked his legs a little bit as he stuck some of his fingers in his mouth. I played with him for a while like that, bouncing him gently in my lap. I was determined to wear him out by the time it was time to eat. I didn't want him to disturb Jessie.

I was playing peek a boo with him when Jessie walked in wearing ripped denim shorts, a soft navy shirt with a pocket along with gladiator sandals and aviator sunglasses. Her damp blonde hair fell in loose waves down her back, contrasting the navy fabric of her shirt. She glowed a little and definitely looked more relaxed. She'd even gone through the trouble of shaving her legs.

Isaac smiled and cooed every time I peeked at him and when Jessie came in he reached out a chubby hand for her. She picked him up, cradling him in her arms as she smiled at me.

"Thanks Ade," she said, kissing me on the lips.

"He should be pretty worn out," I said, "I played with him a bit. Well, as much as newborns can really play."

She laughed, before looking down at her son and kissing his cheek. His eyes were already drooping.

"Daddy took good care of you, didn't he?" she said before planting another kiss on his small button nose. I could feel my cheeks warm up at the word 'Daddy'. I loved hearing her say it. I walked up to her and put my hands on her hips, pressing my forehead against hers.

"Mommy did an even better job," I said, kissing her. She sighed into my mouth a little as I ran a few fingers through her hair. I took Isaac from her once again and put him in his babycarrier, tiptoeing out the front door before I buckled the carrier into the backseat. Jessie still looked positively radiant, taking my hand and squeezing it before she downshifted the car and pulled out of the driveway.

As we drove, I couldn't help but check on little Isaac in his baby carrier with his diaper bag planted next to him.

The sun shone as we drove along.

"How about Red Robin?" I asked and Jessie laughed.

"Seriously? You want to go there?"

"Well, they didn't have it in France. I want to try their fries." I stuck my tongue out at her and she laughed, pulling into the parking lot. I bounced up and down in my seat like a toddler which only made her laugh harder.

Once we were seated in the restaurant and had ordered drinks, Jessie spoke up.

"Crap. Adrian, I left the diaper bag in the back seat and I'll need my nursing blanket if I'm going to feed him. Would you mind...?"

"Of course, I'll be right back." I dashed out to the car, retrieving the bag and running back inside. Jessie gently woke him up then, not wanting to have to feed him in the middle of her meal. We were in a pretty isolated corner of the restaurant and she had her nursing blanket on which covered everything so she fed him. A waitress approached them.

"Ma'am," she said, "I'm going to need you to do that in the bathroom." Jessie looked at the waitress blankly. Isaac was already feeding and would cry if she stopped him early to go to the restroom. And regardless, her request made me angry.

"Pardon me, miss. But everybody else gets to eat their dinners in the dining room and Isaac should be no exception. Nobody is looking at her and nobody has complained." I said this with a little sass, moving my body to shield Jessie and Isaac.

"I'm sorry, that's restaurant policy." she replied, looking uncomfortable. I'd worked in restaurants for years and I knew if I called her manager over she would relent.

"Listen. How would you feel if you had to eat your dinner in a bathroom? If this is really such a big issue then I want to speak to your manager. Isaac be finished in about fifteen minutes and he's not disrupting anybody's meals." she gave in, then, nodding.

"Okay," she said, "But if anybody complains then you really need to take it to the restroom." The waitress walked away and Jessie touched my arm.

"Thank you," she said, moving her hand up to cup my cheek affectionately.

We put in our orders and our food came a while after. Isaac was still sound asleep and we ate in peace. We'd both ordered burgers and fries and Jessie was starving, she finished before I did.

When we finally got home it was around 8:00 and I put Isaac down in his crib. Jessie's father still wasn't there, Jessie mentioned he would be working late.

"You shaved," I said, smiling into her mouth as I kissed her.

"Yes, I did," she whispered, moving my hand to her leg. I deepened the kiss, her lips warm on mine as I felt her smooth skin.

I pushed her gently against the wall, keeping my hands firmly on her hips as she kissed me. She'd just reached for the hem of my shirt when Isaac started crying. Which meant that we started laughing.

Jessie's phone rang just then and I saw it was her Dad. She sighed. "I'm so sorry to ask you this, you've done so much already. But I think he needs a diaper change and it's my Dad. Would you mind taking care of Isaac for me?"

"No problem," I said, laying Isaac out on his changing table and strapping him in. I had just finished putting the clean diaper underneath him when Jessie walked up to me.

"Dad has an emergency in Paris and he's jetting out this evening. He always keeps a spare bag at work for stuff like this. But he said he's probably going to be gone a week or so. I don't think I can handle being here by myself," she bit her lip, "Would you mind coming over a little more to check on us?"

"Yes, I would mind," I said and her face fell.

"I know this is a lot to ask of you but-" I interrupted her.

"No," I said, "I would mind that because you can't be here by yourself, you'll run yourself ragged. You and Isaac should come stay at my apartment. Try out the cradle there and then maybe you can finally get some rest." Her face split into a smile that lit up the room.

"Really?" she asked, just as I snapped Isaac's onezie in place.

"Really," I replied, hefting Isaac on my hip before I leaned in for another kiss.

~Hawthorne~

I had the house to myself for the night. Agatha had taken Grandpa out somewhere, and had told me briefly that they would be gone for the next few days. That meant I could have time to myself for peace and quiet. The problem with that is that there is no peace for me. Especially when i'm in the house by myself. The nightmares seem to take on a life if their own when i'm trapped in them. So vivid and realistic that it's hard to discern the difference between reality and the dream realm. I always wake up with fresh and sometimes bloody scratches over my body that I did to myself in an attempt to pull myself out of the nightmare. The pills i'd been prescribed stopped working a while back, so instead of sleeping, I would just lay there and stare at the ceiling. Sometimes i'd be lucky and get a text from Merrick. He was a bit of a late night owl like myself, but for an entirely different reason than mine. I wished he were here right now. The feeling of being wrapped in his arms was so comforting, I took in a deep breath as I recalled the memory.

Letting it out in a sigh, I rolled onto my side and sat at the edge of me bed. Sleeping would be completely useless as I previously knew it would be. Maybe a shower would help. Sometimes it would help temper the intensity of the nightmares enough that I wouldn't wake up with fresh marks on my skin. Pulling off my clothes, I decided it was worth a try. Walking into the bathroom and turning the water on, the hot water cascaded down my body. My muscles began to relax under the steady massaging pulse of water. Smoothing my hair away from my face, I braced my hands against the wall to let water fall to the rest of my body. Reaching over and grabbing the waterproof Ipod from it's charging port, I hit play on it, music bouncing off the wall of the shower. I sang along as I scrubbed myself clean. Finishing up in the shower, I stopped the Ipod and stepped out. I gave myself a quick rubdown with a towel before squeezing my hair somewhat dry. After pulling it back into a french braid, I headed back to my room to dress.

Checking the time on my phone as come back, I see I have a missed voicemail from Cole. A frown forming on my face, I listened to the voicemail.

"Thorne?" Cole sniffled. "I'm sorry i'm calling so late. I just needed someone to talk to."

My frown deepened.

"I just don't know." she sobbed. "I just don't know."

Didn't know what? What had gotten her so upset?

"I went to the hospital and got the rape kit done. I told Rupert too. He just about blew a fuse." Another sniffle.

I can only imagine.

"I'm just so scared, Thorne. What if I did the wrong thing? What if I should have just not said anything? What if he comes after me again? He has so much money and power, what if he just swipes it all under the rug? Rupert and I got into an argument over it earlier since i'm staying with him right now."

Pulling on my clothes, I grabbed my keys and pulled on my shoes.

"I mean, am I doing the right thing?" her voice quivered.

She sniffled. "Anyway. I guess i'll let you go.Night."

The voicemail ended. Closing the door to the house and locking it, I hopped into my cars and headed over to Rupert's house.




Knocking on the door, I waited for someone to answer. A minute later the door opened and Rupert's face appeared. I pushed past him and into the house.

"Thorne?" he frowned. "What are you doing here?"

"Cole called." I turned to face him. "She sounded really upset."

Rupert ran a hand through his hair with a frustrated sigh. "Yea. We got into and argument."

"Over what?" I looked at him.

He looked down at me for moment, a beat of silence ringing in the air between us. Cole said she had told Rupert on the message. I didn't break eye contact.

"You knew, didn't you?" he crossed his arms over his chest.

"I was the first person she told." I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

"Because she asked me not to tell anyone. It wasn't my secret to tell, Rupert." I shook my head. "Is she awake?"

"She's asleep now." he answered briefly. "She broke up with me. Said she didn't me anymore. I thought she meant it."

I bit my lower lip. Poor Rupert. I knew he had to have been heartbroken. "The important thing is that you're here for her now."

"I could kill that son of a bitch for what he did to her." his hands clenched so hard, his knuckles turning white.

"That won't erase what he did and it won't stop the pain." I told him.

"And standing by doing nothing will?" he asked through tight lips.

"No, Rupert." I sighed. "Just being here for Cole and helping her heal isn't nothing. She's scared and she's hurting right now. She doesn't need you beating your chest like a caveman."

"It just-"

"Just nothing, Rupert." I snapped. "Keep your mouth closed and be there for her. That's what she needs from you."

Rupert wasn't expecting me to snap like that, and the shock showed on his face before he schooled his features. "I'm pretty sure I know why she told you."

Another beat of silence.

"It's because you're good at keeping secrets." he looked back down at me. "You walk around school with a smile on your face like everything is fine. People always talk about how great your life must be, but it's really not, is it?"

I didn't look at him then.

"You're just good at lying." Rupert said.

Ouch. That actually hurt.

"When I told Cole-"

"When you should have kept your mouth closed like I asked." interrupted.

"She wasn't surprised." he finished.

I was going to take that as my cue to leave, heading for the door.

"All she needs from you is to be there for her, Rupert." I looked back at him. "She may not admit it, but she blames herself. She disgusted with herself. She's been violated, and she'll have to live with that for the rest of her life, so just be there for her. Be there for her the way no one was there for me."

He frowned when I said that, but I didn't give him time to react as I closed the door behind me and headed home.