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New Year's Revolutions

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Wed Jan 11, 2017 7:57 pm
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BrumalHunter says...

"I was having difficulty finding the kick button - we both remember how awful chat was on mobile - and I had never used it before anyway, so I supposed that I wouldn't be able to kick her."

"I'm guessing you discovered how to do it moments later," @TheSunderedSorcerer remarked, his face scrunched up in strain. He'd been trying to remove a particularly stubborn spot from the deck since five minutes previously, and @AstralHunter's incessant rambling wasn't helping.

"Shh, I'm getting there!" Hunter waved his hand at the old man in annoyance. "Anyway, @TheSilverFox then celebrated that he would get to kick @Ventomology after all. He asked when he should do it, to which she shrugged and replied, 'Whenever,' to which he responded that he would choose at his leisure. In the meantime, I was back in the options menu, and as I kept pressing on Ventomology's tab, lo and behold, a white box appeared to the right, precisely where Fox had said it would be. I dashed back and said that I would grant her wish, but chat was still full and crazy, so neither of them caught my warning."

"And then you kicked her?"

"Stop being so anticlimactic. Yes, I did, but while they were still discussing how it would be a surprise. You should have seen his reaction." Hunter chuckled at the recollection. "You know, the whole evening, I'd been trying to tackle and noogie him, but he always dodged my attacks. He's worse than Sans, that one. But finally-"

"Who's Sans?"

Hunter was incredulous. He then responded with a facepalm. "Never mind. The point is that even when he didn't dodge my attack because I had disabled our time and space abilities, he claimed I had successfully landed a hit on a decoy. Therefore, it was immensely satisfying to use Astonish and have it actually connect. You could even say he flinched!"

The senile sorcerer paused mid-scrub and gazed up at the bipedal Space Wolf before him. "Don't you have anything better to do?"

"Hey, you don't get to quote Undertale if you don't even know who Sans is."

"Why would I quote a game where one of the characters is named after a font everybody hates?"

Hunter pointed dramatically downwards (causing the magician to glare at the finger an inch away from his face) and yelled, "Sacrilege!"

"Did I hear my name?"

Both Hunter and the Sorcerer started and turned to gape at the newcomer. The former recovered first. "No, I meant sacrilege, the word, though your name is an interesting paradox."

"Oh, okay. Bye, then!" @Sacredlege rejoined the line of people who randomly passed by the harbour.

"That was amusing, although I guess 'Blasphemy!' would have been a better interjection. Anyway, where was I?"

"Captain @Rydia's ship, which you can get off of if you aren't going to help cleaning it."

"Very funny." Hunter pointedly hopped onto a nearby crate and made himself comfortable on it. "Since I can't remember where I was, I'll just regale you with a new story. Would you like to hear how-?"

"No, I wouldn't."

"Well, too bad. I'll-" Silence ensued for a few seconds.

Wanderer sighed and looked up. "I didn't even interrupt you that time, and I doubt you stopped talking because you decided to leave."

"I sensed a disturbance in the surrounding Force."


Hunter frowned. "Someone agitated approaches, but I don't know who." He clambered onto the neighbouring stack of crates to get a better vantage point. "Oh, it's just our captain." He blinked. "Wait, it's our captain!" He jumped off, pried open the crate on which he had sat, and leapt inside. Conveniently, it was empty.

"What's the matter?"

Hunter lifted the top and peaked out. "Don't tell her I'm here! Err, take this as payment." He tossed a golden doubloon at the mage, who caught it and proceeded to use the chewing method so as to determine its authenticity. Satisfied, he stuck it into one of his pockets and resumed scrubbing, so Hunter lowered the lid again.

A minute later, the sound of boots tromping on wood greeted them. "Where is he?"

The futile scrubbing ceased. "Where is who?"

"Hunter. I saw him gawking at me from here a couple of minutes ago."

"He is... somewhere."

Hunter could hear Rydia scowling, despite the impossibility of it. "Could you be more specific?"

"I could."

"Then tell me where he is!"

"He paid me this pretty not to."

A heavy sigh. "What exactly did he tell you not to do?"

"He told me not to tell you he's here."

"So you're technically still allowed to point?"

The ensuing silence lead Hunter to assume he had answered by way of doing exactly that. His suspicion was confirmed when their Crew Leader lifted the lid above him. He grinned guiltily and waved. "Salutations, captain." He yelped as she grabbed him by the scruff of his neck, hoisted him out of the crate and planted him on the deck.

"What did you do?"

He scratched the top of his head. "Err, many things. On which one in particular should I elaborate?"

"@Nikayla told me that you told her yesterday that you were going to make things disappear and incur my wrath. So, I ask again: what did you do?"

Hunter raised his hands. "Nothing... yet."

"Then I order you not to do whatever it is you plan on doing. We've broken enough realms this week."

"Making something poof and breaking realms isn't the same, though, and I sort of have to make something poof. I can't simply cause a chain reaction of time shifts and pretend there won't be consequences."

"Oh, this is regarding the incorrect labelling of newsletters since July last year?"

"Yip! And this," Hunter pointed at the fourth wall, "is the tagbook I said I'd create to explore on the matter."

Rydia frowned. "So why is incurring my wrath a part of the plan?"

"Well, as all storybookers should know, we have a ridiculous Captain's Challenge this month, so I thought I'd tie everything together. Annoying you just adds to the fun."

"Wait, are you blaming me for whatever's going to happen because I created the CC?"

Hunter thought about it for a second. "I didn't think of that, but since you're apparently the one people always blame, sure, let's go with that! It's totally your fault your flagship just disappeared!"

"Say what?"

Hunter clicked his fingers and... poof. Splash x2.


Grinning, he looked down at the two angry faces in the water below. "Sorry!"

"I just managed to remove that spot!" Wanderer complained. "And how come we have to fall into the freezing waters of the harbour but you get to stand suspended in air?"

"Perks of being a member of my species."

"Humph." The angry old man disapparated.

Meanwhile, Rydia had swum over to the quay and hauled herself out. Drenched and furious, she grumbled, "I'm more interested in how you plan on getting my ship back."

"And an excellent plan it is too! It starts with this post."

"And it ends with...?"

"Twenty more posts. I made it disappear, so once I meet that goal, I'll bring it back."

"Where is the adventuring element to that?"

"Hmm, good point." He clicked out a simple rhythm. "There! Several random objects - all or most of them probably important - all over the site have now disappeared as well. I shan't be able to make 21 posts for each object to bring all of them back, so other storybookers will just have to work on that themselves."

"...what happens when the CC expires and the objects haven't been returned?"

Hunter adopted the Thinker pose. "They remain lost to the void forever?"

"If I don't get my ship back, my debt to @AlexSushiDog transfers over to you."

Cue jaw drop. "Whaaat? I don't have a million points lying around!"

"Then you better get to writing. We - meaning you, me and him - have all read this post, so it's official now."

"Fine. But if I am to post in here again, I need to get more people involved. Any suggestions?"

"I recall @Omnom challenged the Crew to see who could earn the maximum number of credits first. You can always involve him, since he needs the posts too."

"True! Something of his probably disappeared anyway. @Lumi also said I should challenge @Mage and her gang to involve non-mods. And @XxXTheSwordsmanXxX has already earned half of the total credits, so he's in by default. But just to be sure..." He produced his phone and sent a few texts.

"What are you doing?"

"Just a moment. Okay, my contacts have replied." He clicked thrice. "Lumi is now missing his first Pokéball, Mage is missing her rainbow, and Swordsman is now missing his scabbard. Oh!" Clickety click. "And Omnom is now missing his gilded notebook, while Wanderer is missing his..."

Rydia crossed her arms. "His what?"

"Wait for it..."


"Hunter, where did my hat go?!"

"His that."
But the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
- Paul the Apostle

AstralHunter will be back eventually...

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Wed Jan 11, 2017 8:32 pm
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Lumi says...

"Okay, okay. So everyone has their cards, yeah?"

@Bloo nodded, @chibibo nodded. @Rosendorn, @Caesar, and @Sheyren nodded.

"So we all write down what we think should be the 2017 Pokebook...and whichever gets the most votes...or the fewest jeers...wins!"

"This sounds like a convoluted system of managing an expository dialogue of foreshadowing," deadpanned Rosendorn.

"Aaaababa--" crooned Lumi. "My post, my words. Besides, you're still dressed up like your Academy character. It's almost alarming."

"It's a passive protest against your lack of motivation."


They all scribbled and placed their cards face-down in a circle in front of Lumi. "Okay. So, we have... Pokebook 2: Electric Boogaloo. That'll go in the cheeb pile. Pokebook 2: The Bookening. Going in the spoopy pile. Pokebook 7: Not Actually A Pokebook But Really An Academy--GUYS."

@Sheyren shrugged. "I thought it had a nice ring to it."

"I need a break to clear my head. Has anyone seen my lucky pokeball?"

"Yes," said @chibibo.

"Do you know where it is?"

"No," said @chibibo.

"Where did you see it, then?"

"In the opening post when @AstralHunter said it was missing, dingus."

Lumi opened his mouth to retort, but realized he made a very fair point. "You make a very fair point." He crossed his arms and hummed a tiny tune under his breath, thinking of the perfect story companion to help search for his lost bauble. "In Legend of Korra, <spoiler> says that you sometimes need to help someone else in order to find what you seek. So I'm going to help..."

He disappeared in a fizzle of low-quality static because budget cuts.

Only to reappear in front of @Mage, who was painting an optimistic wall poster. "Mage! We must find your rainbow!"
I am a forest fire and an ocean, and I will burn you just as much
as I will drown everything you have inside.
-Shinji Moon

I am the property of Rydia, please return me to her ship.

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Wed Jan 11, 2017 9:10 pm
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Saen says...

Mage put down her paintbrush. People suddenly teleporting beside her was incredibly strange and something she had never quite gotten used to; it was something that J.K. Rowling should have gone into more detail with when describing Apparating.

She was proud of the fact that she hadn't jumped in surprise, though.

Getting over her initial shock, she crossed her arms in what she hoped was an angry gesture. She wasn't exactly sure what an angry gesture was, but wanted to at least seem a little upset about losing her rainbow.

“Ah, yes,” she wisely agreed. “We need to find the rainbow that @AstralHunter unjustly stole from me in a sly attempt to get more posts in the Storybook forums. A rainbow that I obviously was aware of prior to this post, which is why I'm so angry. Argh.” In retrospect, it was actually a pretty smart plan. Though there was obviously a lack of morals involved, it was an easy way to guarantee more activity. She tried to get her mind off of that train of thought. It was far too evil of her to think that way. The last time she had was when she had gone on a question spree on Story Interviews...

Lamely, she concluded, “This is just so, uh, infuriating.”

@Lumi opened his mouth to say something – perhaps suggest a plan of action – when Mage came to a glorious conclusion and promptly cut him off. “We need to assemble the team!”

“Team?” he questioned, but she was already texting everyone in the group chat that she had initially created to roleplay and plague everyone with random questions and incidental music.

“Team,” she repeated. Almost immediately, a group arrived. They all huddled into the room, excited expressions on their faces. “You've all probably seen him around the site, but, everyone, this is Lumi. Lumi, this is everyone-”

@JuliasSneezer suddenly dropped down from the ceiling. “Did I miss anything?”

“Not really,” @JennyImStory said. She was chewing gum and blowing large bubbles, which Mage considered to be an incredibly risky and stupid move considering what had happened back near Halloween.

After an awkward minute of silence, Lumi asked, “So why did you ask them to come?”

@Malamaya surveyed the room. She rubbed her chin thoughtfully, and slowly nodded her head. “We're the unofficial fan club for all versions of Sherlock Holmes on the site; we came up with our roles over on Stpry Interviews. I'm Sherlock.” She pointed to the others gathered. “JennyImStory is either Molly, Irene Adler or Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. It's undecided. @soundofmind is Moran.”

“I still don't know who he is,” soundofmind quietly interrupted.

“And I'm our Moriarty!” Mage gave Lumi a gigantic grin.

You're Moriarty?” he asked in disbelief.

JennyImStory laughed. “You should see her on one of her question sprees.”

“Anyways,” Mage cut in, “we might be some of the only people who can solve the mystery of where everything is. Malamaya is amazing when it comes to solving mysteries-”

“But wasn't she wrong on the person behind the question spree the one time where she had to deduce something-”

Mage put a finger to her lip to quiet soundofmind. “Worse case scenario, if we're unable to solve this mystery for whatever reason, we can interrogate AstralHunter and get him to reveal the locations of the missing items! Though our questions may not always be actually helpful, they are incredibly random and therefore can get very irritating.” Her smile became quite evil, which hadn't happened for a long time. “We'll get him to break in no time.”

She started to tidy up the area where she had been painting, adding as an afterthought, “Which should be fairly quickly if one of us asks who his favorite character in the story he's working on is, or if JuliasSneezer asks how his characters would go about solving a Rubics cube.”
"Once again, you ruined my story with angst." -Sheyren

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Wed Jan 11, 2017 9:50 pm
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Sheyren says...

Sheyren was following @Bloo, @chibibo, @Rosendorn, and @Caesar. The task; Find @Lumi.

Admittedly, this wasn't the first time Lumi disappeared pathetically due to a lack of funds. He did it on schedule, and they had expected it to occur in the near future.

"Wait, wait, wait," Bloo halted them mid run. "Where are we running to?"

"Lumi." Sheyren said matter of factly.

"No, I meant where is Lumi."

"Probably at @Mage. She lost a rainbow, right? Then they have something in common... Maybe they're conspiring to confront @AstralHunter," Caesar helpfully added.

"Mage, conspire? More like happily question, with positivity as a running theme. I can't imagine her doing anything even somewhat sinister." Sheyren dissmisively stated.

"Okay, look now, question later." chibibo said. With that, they began running again.

"Wait, where's Mage?" Bloo asked.

She's at the <Insert setting here.>

"Who are you?" Sheyren questioned.

A voice guiding the storybook so that the plot progresses.

"No offense, but just leaving the setting blank isn't particularly helpful." Rosendorn remarked.

Hey, I can't be too helpful. Defeats the fun.

"At least point is in the right direction."

Oh, that way.

And with that, we set off in "that way."
"I don't have any meaningful quote for this thing."

If you somehow didn't already know, I used to be Sheytato.

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Thu Jan 12, 2017 12:31 am
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JuliasSneezer says...

Julias reached into her satchel. "Hang on, I think I have a way to get there faster!" She rummaged through. Her face paled as her hand came back up, completely empty. "My- my vent locater is gone... HOW WILL I FIND PASSAGES TO DROP OUT OF CEILINGS?!"

She dropped to the ground in a fetal position and began rocking back and forth. "No- no ceilings, precious..."
"When in doubt, improvise!"
-Winny the woodpecker

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Thu Jan 12, 2017 11:31 am
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TheMaieuticMesmerist says...

"That @Astralhunter knows just how to work on my nerves!" the Sorcerer exclaimed as he entered the small little broom closet that has been his home for the last thirteen and a half minutes.

"Well, if you ask me, you never should have borrowed him your textbook on neurons then," @Persistence said, blocking the door with his shadow.

"You know what, I think I might just steal one of his things and see how he likes that!"

"And what would that accomplish," @Wolfical asked as she casually joined this conversation (that to anyone other than them looks like two people enthusiastically staring at a bunch of mops), "you'd just be adding more fuel to the fire by granting him even more posts in this silly adventure of his."

Seemingly oblivious to what Wolfie just said, the Sorcerer continued to rant as he pulled apart to enchanted brooms who got tangled in a tango. "I think I might even steal his Ruby Shield," he said, "see how he wants to stay on top of the list without it."

"Hey, just because someone stole your new username doesn't mean you can go around stealing shields," the persistent candy mage said trying to calm the sorcerer.

"Ugh, I assume your right. But that still does not alleviate the sheer chaos that Hunter has set upon us all."

"I know what we can do!" @Omnom exclaimed from somewhere behind Persistence and Wolfie, "We can all go looking for your new username together. Maybe even help find @Lumi's lucky pokeball and @Mage's rainbow while we're at it."

"I think that's a terrible idea," yet another voice said out of the Sorcerer's view. "It's already impossible to write all his past usernames quickly, now you want to add another to the list?"

"Is that @Ventomology?" the Sorcerer asked, stuffing more brooms and mops than necessary into his travel satchel, "because she's the only one who could complain about my usernames that much."

"No, it's actually @TheSilverFox, Sorcerer," the argentine canine said, "geez, we sound totally different!"

Persistence and Wolfie stood aside as the Sorcerer exited his broom closet, armed with his staff, licorice-flavored socks and a backpack full of brooms.

"How many are we here?" he asked, quickly counting the gathered faces. "Only five... hmm... Oh well, it seems Boromir and Gandalf have died and Sam and Frodo are already gone, so we're the only remaining members."

"What the heck are you on about now?" Persistence inquired.

"Us! We're the Fellowship, and since there are only five of us, we need to go find not only my username and Admiral @Rydia's flagship, but the rest of our fellows."

"Oh!" exclaimed Wolfie, "Well, then you have my paw."

"And my persistence," said Fox.

"And my axe!" said Persistence. "Oh, I though we were quoting Lord of the Rings now."

"A new power is rising in the east," Omnom said.

"You couldn't resist the urge to quote Saruman, could you?" Wolfie asked.

"It wasn't a quote. There is really a new power rising in the east. Look."

And the Fellowship turned east to see this new power rising...
I used to Wander the realms of this site, being a Wizard like only I can be.
After that I settled down, to learn the art of Conjuring Clocks.
For a time then I dabbled in the Intellectual art of Illusions.

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Thu Jan 12, 2017 12:53 pm
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soundofmind says...

And suddenly from the east arose a rider mounted on a giant dog. With the sun behind their back, their towering silhouette looked intimidating at first. But then the dog reared it's front legs and the rider fell off and rolled onto the ground and came into clearer view. The rider scrambled off and left briefly at the sound of a timer's ding, and returned with a loaf of bread.

Soundofmind lifted up the loaf, addressing the Fellowship. @TheSunderedSorcerer

"I think what you meant to say was, that a new flour is rising with the yeast."
"It's all a matter of perspective... everyone is the hero of their own story, and the villain of another's." - James

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Thu Jan 12, 2017 2:23 pm
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XxXTheSwordsmanXxX says...

"All I can say is that if I get my hands on @AstralHunter he and I are gonna have a few not so kind words," Swordsman says as he stalks into the area. His sword, now casually resting on his back using a sheet as a makeshift sheath.

"I almost lost my sword when he snatched my sheath away. Spent better part of an hour fishing it out of a gorge. He's lucky I'm a peaceful soul or I might show him the business end of my blade."

The hood pulled up over his head his features were somewhat obscured.

"Let's not do anything we might regret," @TheSunderedSorcerer said trying to ease Swordsman down. "Then again it might be interesting to see you going full out on someone."

"No you can't stab him," @Mage says with a roll of her eyes. "But I'll overlook a few jabs if you really can't control yourself."

"But hey! We have a sword you have to do it!" @Wolfical states looking to him expectantly.

"Do what?" Sword responds in confusion.

"The thing we were doing! From Lord of the Rings!"

"Yeah now its your turn!" @Persistence agrees.

"What thing from Lord of the Rings?" Sword asks again.

"You know...when all of them pledge to help Fordo. Everyone offers something up to protect him," @TheSilverFox explained

"You have my sword?"

"YES!" Fox, Wolfie, and Persistence yell in unison. Their triumph evident on their face.

Sword shakes his head with a gentle chuckle. "Gonna be a long adventure."

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Thu Jan 12, 2017 4:39 pm
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cheeb says...

"Now, as long as we're making our way from point A to point B," @chibibo said, panting slightly, "and not necessarily interacting with anyone or contributing to the plot," he added, "I would like to take the opportunity to have it clarified for me just what on Earth is going on in this storybook."
"Welp," said @Sheyren, "a buncha stuff's gone missing. @Lumi's gone to find some of it and left us behind - rude, by the way," he added sourly, "so we need to go find him and kick his butt help him."
"An unexpected development, indeed," @chibibo said.

"Speaking of unexpected developments," @Bloo said, "what's with the sudden lip-flapping, cheeb? In the last few storybooks you've been The Speechless - or maybe even a Cute Mute."
"You're too kind," @chibibo blushed. "Uh, I dunno when exactly that happened... I guess I just never fully recovered from that time paradox."
"Time paradox?" @Sheyren said quizzically. "When did that happen?"
"Five months and approximately eighty-two months ago simultaneously."
"Weight had nothing to do with it," @chibibo mansplained.

"Hey, as long as we're doing callbacks to old tagbooks," he piped up, "want me to get my flying Volkswagen? We'll have an easier time getting to our destination."
"I'd be all for it," said @Rosendorn, "if it wasn't for the fact that we're already here."
@chibibo removed his hat and threw it onto the ground in front of him. "How am I supposed to cross canons under these conditions?!"

"Image" said @Lumi, who had just noticed their arrival.
the user formerly known as chibibo

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Fri Jan 13, 2017 12:04 am
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TheSilverFox says...


Silver's connection with this impromptu Fellowship was tenuous at best. Assembling everyone into a group was fun, sure, but he'd already lost enthusiasm, especially since their goal was to now go after @AstralHunter. As fun as the Lord of the Rings references were, he decided it would be better to avoid the space wolf as much as possible. After all, Hunter had already surprised him once, and Silver despised that. Silver's three rules were, as follows:

1. Use every loophole.

2. Manipulate all power.

3. Never. Concede. Anything.

That third rule was most critical, and yet Hunter had managed to break the fox's resolve by kicking @Ventomology from the chatroom first, catching him off guard by destroying what could've been a hilariously evil plot. No amount of stunt doubles and time powers were going to reverse that incident. Therefore, Silver resolved to make himself scarce. Maybe he could come back later with some kind of plan to craftily return all the missing items to their rightful owners, and thus claim victory and revenge, but there was no way he was going to enter a direct confrontation at the moment. It was time to leave and spend a good part of this Storybook becoming some kind of distant, skulking anti-hero, unless somebody pulled him back into the conflict. Which they always did.

The first step was distracting the rest of the assembled group. That was easy enough. Silver decided to use his time powers (which he now only had permission to use once a month, since he had gained the displeasure of his superiors with his pranks and bus-driving skills) to freeze his surroundings in time. Naturally, he had figured a minute ago that he could halt time enough to explore his surroundings and find the space where Hunter had hidden the items, within this dimension or otherwise. However, due to plot-important reasons and the rampant time shift or some other convenient excuse, he remembered he only had a limited amount of time before time started again. As though that made any sense. Why did he have to worry about a time limit when he had already made time limitless? Of course, his superiors had explained to him that there were various levels of time arrangements, but he had ignored most of their lectures. As such, he had no idea how to properly fix the plot hole, nor any idea how to circumvent another time limit, and any subsequent ones that might exist after that.

Fortunately, it would be at least a half-hour before time unfroze itself, so he thought he could have some fun. He walked around the arranged members of the Fellowship and dragged them close together, curling their fingers into fists and pulling their hands back so that each person would punch the one to his or her right. It was also easy to pull back @XxXTheSwordsmanXxX's makeshift sheath and take their sword. Silver marched a fair distance across the grassy hills that populated lone journey sequences, and tossed the sword into a shallow creek. He snickered to himself - being a villain was amusing, though his sense of humor was limited to ironic pranks and a horrible sense of comedy that was marginally indistinguishable from his seriousness.

Silver then wondered if he could perhaps get away with ignoring his superiors' rules and use his time powers to hide even more items. If he couldn't beat Hunter - and he sincerely doubted he could RULE 3 though it would be boring to - he would just join Hunter. Unfortunately, whereas Hunter probably had some kind of legitimate reason or security measure to avoid getting significantly punished for the theft of so many items, Silver would likely make his own position even more precarious for attempting the same. His superiors might choose to revoke his time powers altogether, or he'd be suspended upside-down over the presently nonexistent Storybook Crew flagship. Neither was exactly a promising option, though his previous act of attempting to disband the newly-founded Fellowship wasn't going to help him much either. Still, Hunter hadn't stolen anything from him (yet), and he still had things to lose, so he decided that continuing on his merry way and hiding himself was still the best course of action.

As he made his way over a hill, Silver saw a faint yellow impression of a running person crossing through the plains and heading towards some distant place on the horizon. Whoever had caused it was long gone, but it appeared to be the silhouette produced by a lack of budget. Probably Lumi. Where he was going, Silver couldn't tell, but he was likely being followed by somebody/some people. How inconvenient. Still, Silver had plenty of time, and it wasn't as though he could go in any other direction. Behind him would take him back to his enraged companions, while going to the left or right meant he would be going parallel to some group or another, or heading for a collision course.

A part of him did wish for more effective solutions, though. As Silver walked towards the yellow blur, he looked around him. There weren't any holes in the vicinity. It wasn't as though he could dig any, too. Normally he was over-prepared enough to have some kind of shovel in hand, but he had failed to follow protocol because this is a story, and stories thrive on failure. Besides, it would ruin his outfit, and he spent a decent amount of money on it. On the other hand, did that priority hold up against his present situation? Wouldn't it be best to re-purpose some part of his suit--

When Silver hit the yellow blur, time started again. The irritating chirping of birds greeted him as he fell onto the grass.

Of course.
S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
a persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma per ciò che giammai di questo fondo
non tornò vivo alcun, s'i' odo il vero,
senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo.

Inferno, Canto 27, l 61-66.

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Fri Jan 13, 2017 1:01 am
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Lumi says...

FOX SHOULD HAVE LISTENED to old @Griffinkeeper's warnings about time paradigms--but noooo--he had to go and make an entire


with his scheming and plotting; and, when his spell wore off and Lumi's boot came crashing into the Fox's head, both men tumbled to the ground while @Mage practiced her birdie whistles.

But it didn't stop there!

Because OF COURSE it didn't stop there! When someone uses trickster magic like they're Merlin from The Sword in the Stone, something Higgitus Figgitus is BOUND to happen! Lumi's vision blurred. @chibibo howled at the swirling vortex that was the sky. @Rosendorn began reciting spells from Teen Titans. @ChildOfNowhere appeared in the clouds and said, in James Earl Jones' voice: "Remember Who You Are." Did that mean she was Mufasa in this story? We'll come back to that.

When Lumi next opened his eyes, his team was jumbled, and new faces sprinkled the crew. "@Steggy! Y-you brought Carlofcourseyoudid."

"It wouldn't be a tagbook without him."

He stood from the iron-black gravel where he'd landed and squinted. They were on Character Chit-Chat Isle. "Who else is here?"

"@JuliusSneezer and @Gravity landed, like," she popped a bubble of gum, "just behind that rock that has your head imprint on it."

Lumi addressed the rock. And then the imprint. It was a fine piece of history. Then, he checked the back of the rock to find Julius and Gravity...and a shiny, glowing



*Lumi places the RAINBOW in his INVENTORY.

"I don't know exactly what @TheSilverFox did, guys, but if you'll help me, he may prove to be a pretty cool midboss to this story. I figure @Mage is the hero. But I can't help but wonder who she ended up with..."
I am a forest fire and an ocean, and I will burn you just as much
as I will drown everything you have inside.
-Shinji Moon

I am the property of Rydia, please return me to her ship.

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Fri Jan 13, 2017 3:32 pm
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cheeb says...

"I hate time travel," @chibibo muttered, saying something he never thought he'd say. He shook his head and climbed to his feet. He immediately dropped back down to his knees, narrowly avoiding a knife that swished dangerously close to his head.

"Hey! That's cheating!" someone shouted indignantly.
chibibo cautiously resumed his stance. "What now?"

His would-be attacker frowned. "This is Kill the Person Above You. You have to creatively kill the person in front of you. Then, the next person in line gets to kill you in a creative way."
"And you call 'decapitation-by-knife' creative?" chibibo asked. Then he checked himself, lest he should go on to wreck himself. "Wait, let me try that again: And you call this psychopathic activity a game?"
"Well, sure. Not like it's the worst game here in Randomosity."

Randomosity. He should've recognised that rippling, glitching landscape. @chibibo knew he would not find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. It was time to make like a tree and get outta there. He dodged another murder attempt and bolted.
"Baby!" the knife-wielder called after him. "You would've respawned!"
"Oh, that's a relief!"

Once he felt he was at a safe distance from them, he stopped, bent down with his hands on his knees and breathed.
"Close call, there."
He yelped and fell backwards.
"All right, all right. It's just me."

The face of @Rydia smirked down at him.
"Oh. Hiya," he muttered.
Rydia offered a hand and helped him up. "I see you got your voice back."
"Time paradox. Long story."
"Oh boy, don't even talk to me about time paradoxes. Did you hear about AstralHunter's little manoeuvre? Time rifts everywhere, and about twenty important items missing."
"Great Scott!"
"Yep. And I have no idea how either of us ended up in here, which leads me to believe that he's done it again."

"No I haven't!" came a voice from somewhere.
"What was that?" Rydia snapped, startled.
"Um... I mean, chirp chirp?"
Rydia stooped to pick up a rock, which she then hurled into the leaves of a nearby tree. With a shout of "ouch!", a short scream and a dull thud, @AstralHunter gracefully faceplanted the ground in front of the tree's trunk.

"I didn't do it this time! For real," AstralHunter insisted after he had recovered. "You believe me, right... uh... whoever you are?" he added, addressing chibibo, who shrugged.
"Don't look at him, he's not going to get you off the hook," Rydia said sternly. "You still have to help me recover my ship."
"Your flagship's one of the missing items?" chibibo said thoughfully. Then he grinned. "You know what ship we should go looking for? The Highwind. I left a bunch of my best stuff on there."
Rydia looked confused. "Is CRA actually canon with this tagbook?"
"It is now!"
"Okay, whatever," Rydia muttered. "Time for the bans."

"Bans?!" the boys exclaimed in unison.
"I told you I didn't cause this time rift!"
"Is this because I interrupted that kill-your-friends game before?"
"No!" Rydia shouted, silencing the two. "Look, the exit to this place keeps appearing in different places - at random, of course. The quickest way to get out is if I apply forum bans to us all; then, being prohibited from existing here, we'll materialise at the Home page. Then I'll unban us and we can travel freely again."
"Okay," said chibibo, contributing absolutely nothing to the discussion.
"But will you be able to unban us, though?" AstralHunter asked. "I mean, if you ban yourself, will you still have access to your mod and admin abilities?"
Rydia thought for a moment. "Probably? Either way, it's better than being stuck in this place." She took a small computer from a strap on her hip and tapped a few buttons on it: then, with a soft popping sound, the three of them vanished.

Suddenly, there was an explosion in the sky and a charred body landed on the spot the group had just been occupying. A second later, it blinked into nonexistence and was replaced with a healthy girl, who burst out laughing. The Kill the Person Above You group let out a loud cheer.
the user formerly known as chibibo

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Fri Jan 13, 2017 6:57 pm
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Steggy says...

Suppressed under certain amounts of pressure (and pixie dust), Steggy lifted Carl onto her shoulder.

"I'm not going to lose you this time," she promised. @Lumi, of course, was so called 'scared' of the spider (even though, countless times, she had made few pleas to say that the hairy spider was friendly. It sit well with Lumi). The one that didn't make sense was why she kept losing her spider friend. Was it because he was a spider or perhaps in his past life, he was a famous adventurer who climbed Mount Everest but died due to the low air pressure? Thoughts like these bogged Steggy's brain.

Anyway, back to t. As of right now, several people surrounded Steggy. Some were stumbling around, with hands on their heads while the other half were picking up rocks and pocketing them (to be honest, rocks were better pets than spiders but Steggy didn't speak this aloud).
She sidestepped a rolling rock, placing her hands on her hips and looked towards the sky. Is today Thursday or is it Monday? She couldn't remember. Of course, she had made a long-due promise to herself for the future to keep track of the days, depending on where she was at and why. It was steady plan that had it's bump in the road but of course, it was working in her mind.
Steggy had been so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn't realize Carl, her precious spider pet, hobbled down her arm and into the woods ahead. It was only until she turned towards her shoulder to ask Carl what day it was when there was nothing there. Only the pink sleeve of her shirt.

"Carl? CARL?!"
You are like a blacksmith's hammer, you always forge people's happiness until the coal heating up the forge turns to ash. Then you just refuel it and start over. -Persistence (2015)

You have so much potential and love bursting in you. -Omnom (2018)

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Fri Jan 13, 2017 8:15 pm
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Sheyren says...

Sheyren had found @Rydia's ship!

Well, sorta.

He lost it too.

It's a long story.

He found it, went to get Rydia, couldn't find her, then couldn't find the way back to the ship.

Now he was alone in the woods as the sun was setting.

"Why are you standing lifelessly as the sun sets dramatically behind you?" It was @ZeldaIsShiek, emerging from a bush.

"Wait, I thought I was lost alone."

"It's a tagbook. You're never alone," @Moonwatcher asked as he fell out of a tree.

"There's two of you? And why are you hiding in foliage?" Sheyren insisted.

"Eh, coincidence." ZeldaIsShiek said.

"I didn't know he was in the bush." Moonwatcher said. "Speaking of not knowing, why are you out in these woods, Sheyren?"

"I was looking for Rydia's ship. I figure if I found it, if become famous and then a lot of people would join my awesome new storybook, Curse of the Wyvern."

"Shameless ad plug," ZeldaIsShiek muttered.

"Well, I get the feeling that finding a ship might be kinda difficult, if it's so massive yet no one has found it yet. Let's start with something easier- @Lumi's pokeball," Moonwatcher suggested.

"I fail to understand how a pokeball is easier to find then a ship."

Then they heard footsteps marching through the woods.

"Who is that?" Moonwatcher asked.

"Is it the Bye Bye Man?" Sheyren questioned. They looked at him funny. "What?! You guys are never satisified. Zelda, don't sing."

@BlueRoses15 marched out of the foliage, playing her flute.

"You weren't in a bush too," Sheyren said.

"No, I was just practicing. By the way, did you say you were looking for a pokeball?"

"Yeah," ZeldaIsShiek responded, wondering how BlueRoses15 heard their conversation while playing her flute, and how they didn't hear her until she was right in front of them.

"Well, I found a pokeball. It fell from the sky and hit me on the head. It has a sticky note on it that says 'Lumi's! No touchy touchy!'"

"Guys," Sheyren started, "I think we just found

Lumi's First Pokeball

"I don't have any meaningful quote for this thing."

If you somehow didn't already know, I used to be Sheytato.

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Fri Jan 13, 2017 10:08 pm
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BrumalHunter says...

Though Hunter was many things, evil wasn't one those. Mischievous, hah, that he most definitely was. Though he was supposed to be writing a post for The Witnesses creating another planet in a different universe, reading the posts for his first tagbook inspecting the tapestry of fate was far more amusing. He blamed his quality of being easily distracted on his canine attributes and the dog jokes it so frequently inspired.

He looped Nyeh Heh Heh and Bonetrousle to set the ambience, bribed his brother (without revealing the bribe) into making him hot chocolate - though not before suffering through a painstakingly detailed explanation of why the previous day's cross country exercises had been hell - and asked @QueenOfHearts if he could use her in his post without actually waiting for an answer. (She'd have said yes anyway.) Everything was set.

Grinning with glee and shamelessly employing cheesy alliteration, he proceeded to survey his fellow storybookers' actions.

"Isn't that cheating?" Aurora asked.

"I explained it using in-universe logic. It's not like playing a video game with friends and looking at their screens to gain the advantage. Okay, maybe it is like that, but it's legal."

Aurora shrugged and sipped some of her rooibos tea (suggested by Hunter, of course). "I was going to say I approve, but that works too."

Hunter scrolled up to @Mage's post before deciding to start from @TheSilverFox's and work from the back after having caught up. "Well, I- Is that Toby?" He back-tracked to the not-so-little, not-so-white dog. "Oh, it's @Sheyren's signature. Not surprised, considering YouTube comments often change Flowey's quote to, 'In this world, it's copy or be pasted.' Anyway, back to the post."

"You were going to say something," Aurora reminded him.

"Nah, that was just to make it look like I interrupted myself. I saw Toby before starting this post, I just wanted to include it."

Frowning, Hunter realised his brother was taking forever to deliver the blackmailed purchased goods. Impatient, he called him to read the sentence so he'd get the message, after which he returned to Fox's post.

"If I was here to read this in person and not just as a scheming companion, I'd congratulate you for the promotion to... what's the term?"

"Badass with whom you don't want to mess?"

"Badasses don't care about end-of-sentence prepositions."

"It sounds weird but it's grammatically correct, okay!"

Aurora grinned. "Anyway, sure, let's go with that."

"Thanks. But it does feel odd to have someone be intimidated by you, even if it's only in a context-specific story." Silence in which reading occurred. "I'm not sure how to feel about everyone considering me a thief. I made their precious artefacts and treasures disappear, sure, but one, they never entered my possession, two, I don't know where they are, and three, I can't get them back, so I couldn't possibly have stolen them."

"You still count as the antagonist."

"Pfft. I prefer primary plot-progessor."

"You couldn't help yourself, could you?"

"Normally, no, I can't, but in that case, I only realised that whole line alliterated after writing it. I'm ingenious that way. Oh, hold on, my brother just brought me my hot chocolate."

She watched him go. "Err, where are you going?"

"Fetching my cookies slash my brother's bribe," Hunter called back. Returning with said cookies and bribe, he sat down and handed his brother his due, booping him on the nose precisely as Bonetrousle's last note sounded (and then poking him in the stomach when he came back as the song ended again). "Annoying him has to be one of my favourite past times," he mused.

"The readers are waiting," Aurora pointed out.

"Right! Err... *muttering* Fox is right in that I can get away with all of this."

"How so?"

"I don't do this too often, firstly. Secondly, I am at least Fox's equal in exploiting loopholes - I'm a Cancer, duh - and thirdly... I can't think of a third reason. I guess because... I..." Gears turned to the beat of Papyrus' battle theme. "Because I just can?"

@Tortwag, who was also present without being present, popped in and offered, "Sounds legit."

"Where exactly are we?" Aurora asked.

"My dimension. It's where I would put stuff if I did borrow without permission. Gosh, this chocolate cookie is divine," Hunter commented, dunking it in his hot beverage and probably affronting many a user with the act. "Do you want some?"

"I'm fine."

"I usually hand them out."

The trio ignored the internet's affirmative cries.

"Back to the post, then. Hmm, Fox is wrong there - he is the one person who really did have something stolen by me."

"What's that?" the guests asked, as polite guests were obliged to do according to etiquette.

"His pride. He'll get it back soon enough, don't worry, but I'm going to enjoy teasing him in the meantime. Also, dunking a refrigerated cookie into a heated drink creates an interesting sensation."

The two guests looked at each other and shared a look of repulsion.

"But you'll get crumbs in your hot chocolate!" Aurora protested.

"So? I do this all the time, so I'm used to it. Seriously, is it really that bad?"

Was it? Hunter didn't know enough to provide an answer by means of his willingly unwilling companions, so he skipped it and moved on to the next four pos-

"My cookie!"

Half of the mentioned foodstuff had broken off and fallen into the cup while Hunter had been shaking it. He dug it out, but not without making a mess and earning many more than just two scowls.

"Yes, it is that bad."


"Why'd you put those three asterisks in the middle of nowhere?" Aurora admonished. "The post isn't done yet."

"I thought it would be a witty way to end it, but I didn't actually want to end the post. And ooh, @Steggy's spider-"

Spoiler! :

"-is back. Oh, sorry, I scrolled again. And looky there, Fox ended up doing exactly what would land him into trouble, as @Lumi illustrates. Isn't it infuriating how fragile time is? I mean you can break it without even trying."

"He's not waiting for us to respond before he continues reading, is he?" Aurora asked.

"Nope." Tortwag flipped open his DS and proceeded to play Black 2. ...Or rather digitally poking Hunter in real life. (The ensuing conversation wasn't necessary for the post, though it did slow its progress a bit.)

"Wait, I was in Randomosity? And ouch!" Hunter held his hand/paw/furryhand/handypaw to his head where Rydia's rock had hit him. "But I definitely wouldn't recognise @chibobo if I saw him. Being in one of his posts is neat, though."

When he said nothing for a while, Aurora (Tort and Hunter were still texting) mused, "You're almost finished with the posts but got so absorbed in reading that you forgot to comment, didn't you?"

Hunter looked up and grinned sheepishly. "Maaaybe."

"So, what's left to discuss, then? I have heads that need separation from their necks."

"Err, I have yet to address how, being innocent of any thefts, interrogating me would only result in poorly-done doodles and inconsequential answers. Randomness wouldn't help because, well..." He gestured towards Tortwag. "As for the two questions she already mentioned, none of my three planned series are developed enough for me to have a favourite, and the Rubics cube only exists in the third one."

"So, how would the characters in that series solve it?"

"I don't know. I haven't gotten that far yet. Speaking of which, it's midnight and my post for TheWitnesses still isn't done yet, so I'm effectively two posts behinds schedule. This post needs to end soon, but I currently lack the opportunities I had earlier. Any suggestions?"

"Hmm. You could always pass the burden on to someone else."

"True. Mage, I choose you!" In a whisper, he added, "We might want to leave my dimension before she finds her way in here. If we leave without allowing them inside, they shan't be able to enter, no matter what."

"And if they do because anything is possible?"

Hunter squinted in mock concentration. "Bubble-wrap everything?"
But the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
- Paul the Apostle

AstralHunter will be back eventually...

Turn your demons into art, your shadow into a friend, your fear into fuel, your failures into teachers, your weaknesses into reasons to keep fighting. Don’t waste your pain. Recycle your heart.
— Andréa Balt