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French!! Need help plz



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Mon May 02, 2011 11:45 am
crazyhippo says...



Hi there. So anyway, I have to write a french essay for a GCSE exam in about 2 weeks time, and only now have our teachers told us what it's going to be about. Anyway, I have to write about Home life, and could do with some feedback on a section I've just written (as a draft)

- A description of your home:

Ma maision est assez petit et c'est situate en á petit village en la lisiére de Tunbridge Wells. Intérieur, en le rez de chausseé, es la salle de séjour et la cuisine. Le jardin, fait au haut d'entre une terrasse en un pelouse. C'est tres compact mais j'adore cela parce que c'est calm. En haut, il est trois salles. D'abord, la salle de bains, ensuite ma chambre et finalement ma parents chambre. En ma chambre est ma lit - naturellement, un bureau pour ma ordinateur, ma lecteur de CD et ma imprimante. Aussi, il y a étagere pour ma livres, mais unfortunalement, non télévision! Cependent, j'aime un lit, donc actuellent c'est non un problem.


This is the first of 4 sections I have to write, and I'll post the rest up if I get any feedback.

Thanks for any help in advance,

Hippo :D
  





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Mon May 09, 2011 7:35 pm
tinkembell says...



^_^ uh, well you can tell by the age that I'm only twelve but /apparently\ I'm good *hehe*. Well, I thought this was good, to you have to write it or say it? Both?...

Where you use 'cependant', you should get rid of the exclamation mark - in my opinion - because cependant is a connecting word. A few things that could make it better would
be adding things like 'je _____ ______, mais je prefere ______ parce car c'est _____' or something like that,and using similies ect, for example, where you say you like to read, you could say something like 'reading is cooler than watching tv' (except the French don't say 'cooler' they say 'more cool' xD').

I'd love to read some more :)

Good luck,

~tinkembell
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Tue May 10, 2011 1:42 pm
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Jagged says...



I'm just going to strikethrough and correct this, as it's easier that way, yea?

crazyhippo wrote:Ma maisionmaison est assez petite et c'est situate en á petit village en la lisiére dese trouve dans un petit village près de Tunbridge Wells. À l'Intérieur, en il y a le rez de chausseé, es la salle de séjour et la cuisine. Le jardin, [[fait au haut d'entre une terrasse en un pelouse]]i have no idea what that section means. C'est très compact mais j'adore cela parce que c'est calme. En haut, il esty a trois salles. D'abord, la salle de bains, ensuite ma chambre et finalement ma parents la chambre de mes parents. EnDans ma chambre estil y a maon lit - naturellement, un bureau pour maon ordinateur, maon lecteur de CD et maon imprimante. Aussi, il y a une étagère pour maes livres, mais unfortunalementmalheureusement, nonpas de télévision! Cependent, [[j'aime un lit, donc actuellent c'est non un problem.]]no idea what you want to say here either


I'd suggest you look over genders again. Also, remember, accents are srs bsns :P
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