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Lord of the Flies essay?



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Thu Jan 01, 2009 9:36 pm
Dreamworx95 says...



This is just a brainstorm of all the things I want to include in my school essay. I have a really hard time organizing ideas and this is all that came out for my "pre-write". Looks more like a jumble of thoughts to me. I'm supposed to write an analytical essay for Lord of the Flies and leave a lasting, impacting impression through the conclusion.

Imagine being stranded on an island with few other people…living without a society, would a civilization form where the people would try to follow the rules and have moral values, know the difference between right or wrong? Or would the people rebel…desire for power…result in loss of order?

In William Golding’s Lord of the Flies, there are many different possible themes that can be drawn from the novel. One of these themes is the discovering the dark side of human nature. At first they tried to construct a civilization where everyone would work together to create a society.

The majority of the boys voted for Ralph to be the leader instead of Jack, and Jack was infuriated by this, though he tried to hide it. In the end Jack’s hunger for power resulted in his turning into a savage and the murders of Piggy and Simon. Jack forces Sam and Eric to join his tribe through fear and torture and begins the hunt for Ralph with the intention of killing him (a result of his jealousy, desire for power and the absence of rules/government)...If there were no boundaries and no laws, would a society crumble?

Once I got past the random thinking and brainstorming, I began a pre-write....

Introductory Paragraph
Intro: Imagine being stranded on an island with few other people…living without a society, would a civilization form where the people would try to follow the rules and have moral values, know the difference between right or wrong? Or would the people rebel…desire for power…loss of order?
Thesis: In William Golding’s Lord of the Flies, there are many different possible themes that can be drawn from the novel. One of these themes is discovering the dark side of human nature.

1st Body Paragraph
Topic: The instinct to kill is strong when you’re in the wild (or something, idk)
Support: Jack’s desire to hunt the beast…
Support: Jack’s tribe killing Simon and Piggy, and force Sam and Eric to join, then begin the hunt for Ralph.
Support: Ralph and Piggy (the supposedly sensible ones) participate in killing Simon.
Concluding sentence:

2nd Body Paragraph
Topic: Jealousy taking over and the corruption of power…
Support: Jack’s desire for power – most likely would have resulted in dictatorship.
Support: His envy of Ralph resulted in him wanting to murder him.
Support: Forcing Sam and Eric to join his tribe through torture.
Concluding sentence:

Yeah, I know, it's a crap of a draft. I've got nothing past the intro. I feel embarassed having other people read it, but I'm in need of some serious help. So any ideas would really help. Once again, I just really need help to make the body paragraphs. I know I'll have the conclusion down if I could just improve the body paragraphs. Also, I think I'm in need of better topic sentences, if not for the 2nd body paragraph then definitley for the first. Thanks so much!
Last edited by Dreamworx95 on Fri Jan 02, 2009 1:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
  





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Thu Jan 01, 2009 9:43 pm
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JabberHut says...



*Moved to Homework Help* ^_^
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Sat Jan 03, 2009 4:17 am
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nixonblitzen says...



Lord of the Flies is my FAVORITE BOOK. I would love to help you (because I am jealous and wish I had to write an essay about it)

First of all: the thesis. The most important part of the essay. It's hard to write them if you haven't been taught well, and students almost never are. Your thesis right now is not much of a thesis. It is too broad; more like the idea of your paper. Your thesis needs to be specific and focus your essay.

I would cut "William Golding’s Lord of the Flies, there are many different possible themes that can be drawn from the novel." This is meaningless. It breaks the flow of the paragraph and takes the power away from the thesis.

Your thesis needs to draw a conclusion, not just state a topic. I would suggest something like this:
"As the characters in Lord of the Flies are left on their own, they abandon society and discover that human nature is often dark and bestial."
Or some such.

This thesis introduces your idea, but actually makes a statement. In each paragraph, you could show how the boys abandon society's teachings and show how their actions prove that human nature is dark and bestial.

I think your desire to kill idea is the strongest, the most starkly representing the dark side of human nature, so I would put that last.

Your two ideas are strong. If you need a third paragraph to make it that oh-so-lovely-cookie-cutter-five-paragraph-essay, I'd add another paragraph about the abandonment of following the rules. Like the littluns don't want to work and such. And they don't comb their hair or anything. I'd put that idea first, then the corruption of power, then the instinct to kill. They are in order of least bad to most bad, and weakest idea to strongest idea.

Then, pull it together, and make some lasting, inpacting impression in the closing about the barbarity of man and how fragile the appearance of civility is.

GOOD LUCK. I hope I wasn't harsh, and I hope my ideas help.

rachel
"He found his voice tended either to disappear or to come out too loud." -William Golding
  





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Sun Jan 11, 2009 8:36 pm
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*DaughteroftheMoon* says...



I had to read Lord of the Flies as a class project too, and have to create a wiki page for it as my project. I think that you have some good ideas, just beware of the passive writing, thats the crime of writing everything that first pops up into your head until you hit the word limit. Passive writing: I have a dog. He's really great. Do you have a dog? He's loyal. We do everything.
Good luck with the assignment.
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Thu Nov 21, 2013 5:12 pm
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yubbies21 says...



In my school, we are actually reading the last chapter today, and starting on an essay tomorrow. I'm writing about the struggles of good vs. evil throughout the book.
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