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Help my Plot....Please?



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Fri Mar 02, 2012 3:27 am
EloquentDragon says...



Hmm, I (sort of) posted this before but here goes.

PLOT: A story based off a very strange cumgalubalation (that's not a word!!!) of different anime type-ish plots. (Like, Angel Beats, Baccano, and Akira...???) Involving a futur-isc city of Ohiro (half Japanese, half American style) and its secrets. There are gangs here; one has immortal members, the other super powered members. They own the politics and have war-things occasionally.
Their existence is credited to something known as "Shield," a mysterious, radioactive (ish) stone-like object that holds incredible power. There used to be three "Shields," but now only one remains. A life line to the superhuman individuals, known as their "pulse." They have a connection to it, when that "pulse" or "line" ends, they perish.
The MC is a refugee named Ash, who flees to the city to hide from his "rebellious" past. He soon established a connection to "Shield," and from there things start to get hairy. (In other words, I don't have a plot past that point)

TITLE: Third Line Pulse

Well, please help me. How's the idea sound? Any plot ideas? Anything too confusing or weird? Maybe TOO similar to some animes you may be thinking of?
Feedback greatly appreciated, thanks.
~Elo
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Fri Mar 02, 2012 1:25 pm
Rosendorn says...



As soon as I hear "gangs" I think "gang wars". Which, in this case, caused my brain to pause and do "how do immortal and super-powered gangs fight without one side being totally obliterated?"

I'm reading this and wondering where the conflict is. What causes him to establish a connection to a shield, why is there only one left, how do the immortals factor into this?

That's pretty much the gist to my comments. Right now, you have a setting and a single character. You haven't brought that setting to life with conflict, tensions, history (why is the world this way?) or any of that nice stuff where plots become real. My own opinion is, if you've done your worldbuilding well enough, you will never run out of conflict because there is always tension coming from somewhere.
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

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