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Which? Descriptive, or little detail?



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Tue Nov 16, 2010 10:46 pm
Gheala says...



If you're reading a novel, how would you like this death scene to be put forward?

Let's say the protagonist is standing in front of an old blood stain and is remembering the dear person who got killed. How should I write it?

1-Standing there and merely describing how that person's corpse looked, when he was killed months ago? Like the physical description?
2-Remembering the whole situation, and telling the story of going in the room by accident and seeing the corpse and so on?

So, the whole death scene, or a mere description of the corpse and details come later? It's only chapter five and it's the first real detail about the death. What do you think? I know I'm the writer and I should decide this, but I do need opinions too.
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Tue Nov 16, 2010 10:56 pm
ToritheMonster says...



I suggest a description of the corpse. It's a clue to how they were killed and builds suspense. Then you'll break it later on in the book when the whole thing is revealed.
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Tue Nov 16, 2010 11:38 pm
Gladius says...



I kind of like a blend of the two, I think, if it works for your style and can be incorporated into the rest of the scene which you've built this into. If you could do a few lines of description, then a few lines of flashback in italics, it could build suspense while still giving us vague/cryptic details of the actual death--things which should, hopefully, be fully revealed later and give the reader an "Aha!" or *head/palm* moment, depending if they noticed those details earlier or not.

Does that make sense, or should I write out a small example, too? :P
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Sat Nov 20, 2010 1:38 pm
Rosendorn says...



Why don't you write the scene twice? Once descriptive, once thin in details. See which one you prefer writing from after, or just prefer the scene.

Also, what sort of trigger will cause such a memory? If you launch into a whole monologue about the Dead from one, somewhat general blood stain, readers might wonder "why is the author spending so much time on this?" You might also get readers thinking "I want the action to move on already" if there was a sudden stop in action to go into a detailed flashback.

Just something to think about. Don't just stick the full description on there for the sake of sticking the full description on there; have a reason for every flashback to be shown.
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