Young Writers Society

Hi guys!

I'm starting to work on the plot of my new NaNo, and I need your help. What happens in the story is that two high school seniors (the main character, Izzy and her best friend, Alison) are in a car accident. It is in the dead of winter. They loose control of the car, skid off of a hill, and crash into a tree. Alison suffers many broken bones and several cuts and bruises. She is able to get out just before the car catches fire while Izzy is trapped. Alison attempts to free Izzy, and finally does, but not before she has suffered major burns.

Alison freezes and starts to suffer from hypothermia. They both dip into a coma are both rescued soon after. Local scientists, who have been working on a super-soldier serum that would turn any number of humans into soldiers with high-powered strength, stamina, and agility, as well as have the ability to fly. They're only just putting the finishing touches on their serum, but have not had the time to test it. They decide the girls would be perfect--if it worked, it would enhance and heal them, and if not, there was not much left of them damage. They test it, and it works. However, the serum reacts violently to Izzy's burns and gives her fire powers. Alison's frostbite and other chill give her water and ice powers.

This is where you come in.

Say that you are Alison. The powers are not at all what the scientists have intended. They attempt to send you and Izzy to West Point for training, but you are shunned and eventually kicked out. You are forced to leave your families and move far away, ending up in Chicago, where you both enroll at the same college. Keeping your powers secret is tough. While Izzy has a bright, optimistic outlook with her new powers, and wants to use them to fight crime and uphold justice, you think differently. The last couple of months have been living hell for you. You want revenge. You want a normal life. And your powers have given you a cocky attitude that you can do whatever you want. You begin to hate Izzy, but you still see her at school every day. So, the question is, how would you react? On whom would you take out your anger and frustration?

Thanks so much! Any responses will be greatly appreciated. ^_^ As incentive, I'll throw in a gift for anyone that answers.

-Ellie

If it was me, personally, the closest person who looks at me wrong.

I'd probably snap at Izzy--what pessimist doesn't hate an optimist?--but in the end I'd want revenge on the scientists for making me this way.

Backstory questions, cause I can't help it:

Flight. How will this serum mutate a person so they have flight? You have the option of wings, which would be painful and take a lot of the body's resources to grow, or you have levitation which fits more in the "psychic powers" spectrum which doesn't seem to fit with the other side effects of the serum, which are simply physical advancements. It'd also require a fair chunk of explanation as to how just levitation was added to the character's power-set (traditionally levitation is either hard to learn because it requires lifting your own bodyweight or comes with a cluster of powers).

Altering personality... I'd like to see both get personality alterations and an explanation as to why. Personality is consisted of two things: Brain chemistry and past experience. You can possibly explain the brain chemistry, although I'm not sure what would cause arrogance. But if one gets their brain chemistry altered than both should get it altered.

And I'd also take a closer look at why one character remains good through it all. It's possible, but it needs character development. Otherwise it comes off as just making the character good for the sake of it.

As for the answer to your question, my answer is to look at your character. If she's revenge-driven, then it'd be the scientists, possibly going to the teachers/principle of West Point. If she just gets a really, really bad temper, then anybody. If it's a mix of the two, anybody standing in her way (and she'd probably have left for revenge a lot sooner than you're implying. I'm wondering what's causing her to only be angry now instead of right from the start, if she thinks the serum ruined her life.)

Rosey Unicorn wrote:Flight. How will this serum mutate a person so they have flight? You have the option of wings, which would be painful and take a lot of the body's resources to grow, or you have levitation which fits more in the "psychic powers" spectrum which doesn't seem to fit with the other side effects of the serum, which are simply physical advancements. It'd also require a fair chunk of explanation as to how just levitation was added to the character's power-set (traditionally levitation is either hard to learn because it requires lifting your own bodyweight or comes with a cluster of powers).

Hmm, I didn't think about that, really. I suppose since a lot of superheros can fly, and for general convenience? Hm, I'll need to think that one over.

Otherwise, thanks much Rosey. ^^ I'm going to see if I can think of a more detailed plot outline with your suggestions in mind. Also I'm going to focus on Izzy a bit, maybe have her emotions conflict a bit more. There will be times where she wishes she was normal, she'll remain strong and optimistic throughout it all.

Also, thanks for your comments Ultra and Mixed. ^^

I'd off the people who gave me the powers- revenge, sweet revenge. Once they were dead, I'd feel slightly better. Or maybe I'd go after the families of the people who injected me- ruin their lives like they ruined mine.

This sounds weird but I'd takemy anger out on whatever bad person I see in the streets and by that I mean, rapists, muggers etc. Hope I helped.

Thanks much guys! ^_^ I don't need any more responses; You guys have helped and I think I'll be good with the characters and story for now.

Again, thanks!