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The male perspective



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Sun Jul 05, 2009 4:10 pm
Alainna says...



Hey guys!

I need some help with the male psyche for my current piece of work. I'd like to know some of your thoughts on how men deal with death of loved ones, frustration with life and the signs/reactions to falling in love. Basically, anything to do with men going through a rough or intense patch.

Male feedback would be great but I want help from anyone who can give it! Any psychology student's info would also be greatly appreciated.


Alainna
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Sun Jul 05, 2009 5:26 pm
Karsten says...



There is no uniform male perspective, and different men will react in different ways to different things. For example, of my two brothers, #1 is a complainer, but #2 bottles up everything that upsets him - we never knew he was in trouble until he was hospitalised after a suicide attempt (turned out it was only the latest in a succession of attempts). Bear in mind that socially set gender roles for men can be quite restrictive: real men suffer in silence, etc.





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Sun Jul 26, 2009 8:21 pm
Sugarbowl says...



If you have trouble getting into the head of a male character, my advice would be to introduce a female friend. Personally, I keep a lot of things bottled up (mainly because I live in a place where gossip spreads like wildfire and you can never be sure who you can trust :)), but always open up to one of my female friends. I always wait for her to ask, but in my experience, guys are so transparent that girls can tell when something's wrong and will normally ask pretty soon enough.

Hope that helps :) Let me know if there's anything specific that you want, and I can point you in some kind of direction :)





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Sun Jul 26, 2009 10:03 pm
Krupp says...



Karsten has it nailed down pretty well. Most guys, out of a sense of manliness (call it what you will really) absolutely refuse to talk about their issues, mainly beause they despise being pitied. I know I'm that way. They may cry or let their emotions fly when they're alone, but if they're surrounded by people, they'll lock it down very easily. It's easy to tell when a guy's upset about something; often more than not, he'll stare off in the distance or pick something to look at, as if that something has the answer he's looking for. He might respond to you if you ask him a question, but he's not really paying attention, because he's wrapped up internally in his own affairs, and he will say nothing about it in public. Maybe on a rare occasion will a guy open up to his closest friends, when he's feeling like he can't take it anymore...but then, there are those who feel teh option of suicide is better. (And it never is. I can attest to that. Suicide provides no answers, and leaves everyone else only with more questions.)

at any rate, that's my take on it, having lived on this earth as a man for nearly 21 years now.
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Sun Jul 26, 2009 11:34 pm
SpencerNolanRivers says...



Unlike women, men do not like to be bothered whenever they are angry, upset, or sad. A lot of women would like to confide in someone, or have someone ask them what is wrong so they can express their feelings to them. Men usually are not like that. They usually like to be left alone until they feel better or feel like they've resolved the problem.

As for a man falling in love, I think it's the same as a woman, just not nearly as cliche' and over emphasised.
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Mon Jul 27, 2009 1:40 am
Griffinkeeper says...



A helpful article might be here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grief

When guys go through grief, we tend to withdraw and attempt to deal with it quietly and privately. We don't want others to see us hurt. We don't like to lose control and breakdown, so if we are alone we can mourn in peace, and then put ourselves back together. The last thing we want to do is to unload our troubles onto someone else, but sometimes even that can't be helped.

When it comes to frustration, men become angry and bitter. There really isn't anything more complicated than that. If we feel weak and powerless, we will also deal with that in private.

When guys are interested in a girl, they will pay more attention to them and go out of their way to meet them. The more pronounced these efforts are, the deeper the stage. This is because they become less able to hide their feelings as they become larger. Eventually they cause so much anguish that they must be revealed. When that happens, guys have reached their breaking point and a critical moment has been reached. If it is a negative, they will try to deal with their rejection quickly and privately. If the answer is an affirmative, then they will be extremely relieved and happy as a result.
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Sun Aug 02, 2009 1:23 pm
Hippie says...



Here's a few things I do when I'm upset or frustrated.

1. Tear up the paddock in my car
2. Victimise my chemistry textbook
3. Masturbate
4. Eat chocolate
5. Listen to music
6. Read a book
7. Drink Smirnoff Ice

Loss of loved ones: The only loved one I've lost was my dog. That was the one time I've cried in the past five years. I was in a fairly bad way for the rest of that weekend. My dad and I busied ourselves making a headstone (even though it was made of wood) to take our minds off it.

I've never fallen in love so I can't help you there.
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Sat Sep 05, 2009 8:14 pm
Young gun says...



Frustration with life-Either keep completely quiet about it or,try and raise the issue with someone.

Loss of loved ones-Really cant say since i have not lost anyone near and dear.But i guess men cry.

Falling in love-Ask the girl out or never let her know at all.

Basically men deal with rough phases in their life on their own.Rarely, they might open up to someone close.
Too bad we don't live to experinece death








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