Young Writers Society

My main character is a boy who just lost his brother in a car accident. This book is going to largely showcase his grief and mental health as he struggles with it, and I don't want to do anything wrong. I also want more awareness to be given to boys who have eating disorders since they often aren't talked about. Grief and weight-loss aren't talked about a lot, but I want that to be part of his arc. So my main questions would be:

• How can losing weight be accurately described through grief?

• How much weight loss is enough to be noticed and concerning to those around the person?

• If the character is eating less because of grief and not because of body image, are there any main differences that should be distinguished and noted?

• Are there any main differences between a boy having weight loss issues and a girl having weight loss issues?

• If a doctor discovered he had lost a lot of weight, what would be the course of action most likely taken by a medical professional?

Any other information would also be greatly appreciated! These are just the questions that I have off the top of my head currently, so any other information is welcome as well. I know this is a sensitive topic and I want to represent it as accurately as I can. Thank you so much to anybody who answers this!

I'm not qualified to answer all of these, so I'll just stick with what I know. Even then, I'm not really going to be an expert on this subject.

How much weight loss is enough to be noticed and concerning to those around the person?

It depends on how much he weighed before the loss and how tall he is. if he weighs over two hundred something and is the average height for his age, about twenty pounds can be noticeable if he carries his weight in areas where it's very obvious and possibly concerning (think the hips, lower back, and other areas like that.)

If he's younger and is around the age of puberty, he will get taller and his weight will start to distribute into other areas. He will also gain more muscle, and possibly appear more "lanky" in ways. This could be visible to others, and that might be what other people see the weight loss as instead of seeing it as an actual problem.

Concerning? Maybe. Like I said, depends on age and other physical things.

If the character is eating less because of grief and not because of body image, are there any main differences that should be distinguished and noted?

I think you answered the question already. The main difference is that it is because of grief, not any body image issues. He wouldn't feel like he is eating less because he wants to lose weight, he might just want more control of his life.

Are there any main differences between a boy having weight loss issues and a girl having weight loss issues?

Men lose weight quicker than women. Depending on whether puberty is occurring or has already occurred, testosterone plays a big role in this because as they grow up, men will start to have a higher percentage of muscle and less fat. They can eat more calories and not gain the same weight as a female because of it as well, which could make being underweight or overweight easier depending on lifestyle.

There's also the social aspect that men shouldn't have issues and if they do, they should bottle them up forever. The way someone appears to society shouldn't be something to worry about, but if this is set in a realistic time and place, he could be judged if he were to speak out. Women have this issue too, but it's generally in a more less extreme form from the societal point of view.

Hi winterwolf0100,

I hope (or better I hope not), that you are still looking for answers, so here I am to help a bit:

How can losing weight be accurately described through grief?
I would start by making it clear to the reader that the food tastes bland, or has no taste at all. The thoughts are more about the loss and all the sadness that is in the boy. Instead of referring directly to the problem, in this case, the loss of weight, address it through other points, such as the plate always looking little like the beginning of the meal, the lunch not being eaten, and even delicious things like ice cream no longer tasting good. It is important that you also make it noticeable, for example by wearing trousers that slip, that the shirt hangs looser from the body, etc... So again the tell, don't show.

How much weight loss is enough to be noticed and concerning to those around the person?
I think I'm building on the previous answer here. When the clothes start to slip or the face has a different shape. But it is also noticeable earlier due to mental consequences; the memory and concentration no longer work at full speed, maybe in sports class the dizziness comes and you feel as if you are vomiting, but you just choke out.

If the character is eating less because of grief and not because of body image, are there any main differences that should be distinguished and noted?
I think here it is important that you then effectively present the feelings, in this case, negative ones, like sadness and fear, despair and the thought that everything around you goes on, yet stands still.

Are there any main differences between a boy having weight loss issues and a girl having weight loss issues?
I don´t really know, but I guess the difference in weight loss has more of a difference where the loss occurs? Like usually boys gain weight / loses weight in other body places than girls. (But I´m here really not sure, sorry!)

If a doctor discovered he had lost a lot of weight, what would be the course of action most likely taken by a medical professional?
I think if it's extreme (i.e. the family or school doesn't notice anything either), definitely, but I also think that the doctor will probably talk to the parents first. But I think you can decide how you want to present the doctor.

Hope it was helpful!

Mailice

Hi. I can help. I have Anoxia Nervosa and am in a bad bough of having lost weight recently. Basically having lost weight various times I feed really bad. I got so sick that I nearly needed a feeding tube. Depression can also lower your appetite and you don't want to each much because you feel sad and exhausted with life. It's so said. With having lost weight, I feel like people can't tell. But I'm unsure about that. I'm dizzy and tired and cranky (possibly because of blood sugar- but I'm not diabetic.) I'm weak. I sleep a lot. And I also have the emotional and phycological aspect of an eating disorder. I'v been very sick form my eating disorder.

Check out NEDA (National Eating Disorder Assocation.)

Also, people with eating disorders are not always over or underweight. Most people are at a normal weight.

If you have questions, your welcome to ask.