Young Writers Society

I want to include an autistic protagonist in my novel, but I know that I still have a lot to learn when it comes to the topic of autism and writing autistic characters. I would really like to write a character who does have autism, but I also want to find out if that's really a plausible thing for me to do in my novel.

If you're autistic, I would really appreciate anything you can tell me about what it's like being you! And if you're not, maybe you can link me to some articles or other media that can help me out? I'll be grateful for whatever information you can provide. I only know a little bit right now, like how autism is a spectrum. So, like I said earlier, I still have a lot I would need to know before even trying to write an autistic character.

I'm autistic.

Bullet point list:

- Functioning labels are not to be used. "High functioning" and "low functioning" do not actually tell you anything about how a person's autism manifests, and are really just "how easily can you pass and produce stuff?"

- It's a sensory processing disorder. The world is either much duller or much sharper. I'm hyposensitive to taste but hypersensitive to visual stimuli, which basically means I add more spice than most people would consider sane to my food, but if you stick me in front of a display of TVs at an electronics store where every single one of them has a slightly different brightness and colour saturation, I'm going to get a headache at best and completely melt down at worst.

Other people have different hypo and hyper sensitivities.

- The rate between girls and boys is closer to 2:1, maybe even 1:1, girls are just wildly under-diagnosed because autism tends to present differently in girls and that has only been studied recently— known as atypical autism or "girl's autism". People tend to prefer atypical autism because a whole range of people display atypical autism traits. You can find a list of atypical traits here.

- Many girls with an eating disorder are undiagnosed autistic, as high as 20%.

- Autism is primarily impacted by the social model of disability instead of the medical. What that means is the environment we are in makes us present "more" or "less" autistic. If the world was different and society was different, we wouldn't appear disabled at all (And in fact many fairly ancient cultures are pretty autism friendly; Japan having emotions be in the verbal language instead of implied in body language, plus its lower emphasis on eye contact, is an example)

- Everybody has different symptoms. You can be hyperlexic (reads vicariously and extremely young) to dyslexic, babble non stop to never talk, need a lot of accomodations or hardly need any, etc.

- The concept that autistic people can't lie, can't read body language, and can't love are myths. Autistics can be very loving and caring. They can also have everything from hyperempathy to very low empathy. Lying and reading body language often comes from being abused, but sometimes autistics can pick up the pattern of body language very well naturally. And everybody lies, we're not pure snow uncorrupted by the world.

- We often have our own body language that allistic (non autistic) people don't know how to read, which makes them more prone to thinking we don't express anything in our body.

- Autism Speaks is evil and promotes cure culture, basically stating autistic people need to be made non autistic through traumatizing "early intervention" therapies. Look up ASAN and Autism Women's Network instead.

- We are very often abused or even murdered because of our differences, and society tends to sympathize with the mother who murdered us because they believe autism is so hard to live with and "Everybody snaps."

Diets, "holistic medicine", and a whole bunch of snake oil salesmen promote the concept autism can be cured or made less via their methods (everything from antifungals to drinking bleach). Autism cannot be cured, and most of us don't want a cure.

- Most of us prefer identity first language ("I'm autistic") over person first ("I'm a person with autism.")

Media:

- The Blue Ranger in the latest Power Rangers movie is very accurate representation.

- Abed from Community is very accurate as well (written by an autistic guy).

And finally:

This blog is completely dedicated to helping writers write autistic characters.

Heya Mage!

I'm also someone with autism, so I thought I'd give you some of my experiences. Rosy's covered a lot, so I thought I'd stick with mostly my personal experience and how it effects my day-to-day life.

First off, I'm one of the folks that prefers being referred to as a person that happens to have autism, and the reason I personally like this is because autism is not who I am, it's a part of me! But this way of being referred to sort of reinforces that for me, I guess. c:

I wasn't diagnosed until I was sixteen because I used to live on a ranch off the grid, where there wasn't a whole lot going on. I went to town/the city maybe once or twice a week, so I wasn't exposed to a lot of... busy, city life. I had a lot of time to recoup from life in nature, or by myself. Then life got busier and I started going to town a lot more. I'd always get stomach aches and headaches- especially when I was in town!

Now rewind to when I was a lot younger, and learning to read and do math. For the longest time I couldn't read. A long long time. I was often teased because children who were a lot younger than me could read, when I barely could! I only started being able to read books that I wanted to when I was twelve, and even then it was difficult. It was the same with numbers- when I was doing my school work on the computer, even if I knew the answer to a question, I'd still have to count on the keyboard to find the right number- I knew the name of the numbers, but I had a very hard time recognising symbols.

So what I was technically diagnosed with, was Autism with a math and reading disability. When I was diagnosed, they said that I read at... maybe a grade five level, but I don't remember for sure. The main thing with the reading is that I don't always process the information that I read very well. Nowadays I can read, obviously, but I don't find it easy to comprehend what some things are saying. My mind goes fuzzy and I sort of zone out. The same processing processing issue can, and does, happen when people are talking/giving me instructions. If my boss tells me a list of things to do or about something like "Jamie called to cancel his appointment with Anne, and there's apples and yogurt for the kids today. Don't forget to cross Rainy off the list-- and, oh, you're going to need to vacuum tonight if you don't mind!" But what I hear is "so-en-so phoned. There's a cancelled thing. Anne. Something idk in the middle. Don't forget something about a cross. blah blah blah, blah?" <--- and that is honestly if I'm lucky. Sometimes it's more like: "Jamie blah blah blah blah blahhhhh." Though for me, I hear the worlds, but I don't comprehend them. The words don't make it to my brain! So I'll start repeating what my mum says to me: "Computer, computer, computer..." until finally I process what she's saying. Sometimes I have to get people to repeat lists to me, or things they're saying. But those are on bad days.

Now back to the city and the stomach aches and headaches. When I'm in the city, or any bustling, loud, visually stimulating area- my brain freaks out. This manifests in me as a sort of anxiety. Basically what Rosy said about the sensory processing thing- the world is very sharp for me. The world is very loud and chaotic to me. So much so that it sometimes gives me headaches and stomach aches because it can be very stressful! I have to keep track of so many things. There's a video my mum found on Facebook that in a sense really describes what it's sort of like to be over-stimulated like this. Here it should be!

Because of this kinda over stimulated pain-in-the-bottom thing, I actually didn't think I'd be able to drive! I sit in the backseat whenever I can, because it's really stressful for me to sit in the front seat. Everything is happening so fast and my brain sees things like a black bag on the side of the road way up ahead and thinks it's an animal about to cross the road in front of us! I also sometimes have this thing where I think cars are too close in relation to our vehicle- and sometimes it's as bad as "OMG they're in our LANE coming towards us!!" but I'm not sure if that's part of my autism traits, or something else. The eye doctor can't seem to figure it out. So it seems to be a perception issue of some sort.

So being in the city and in highly stimulating situations reallyyyy wear me down. That's when I get home and put my earphones in and look at the people tab on YWS, or something be-nine on pinterest. At these times, the smallest things bother me. Right now I'm actually not in the best state, and I can hear the tap running in the kitchen which is not helping for sure. If someone were to come and try to talk to me right now, it would be very hard for me to comprehend what they'd be saying to me. Partly because my thoughts are so locked-in to writing this right now, and partly because the day has used up all of my (I think in games it's called 'Soak'?) mental energy, I guess. If someone were to come in and try to talk to me at a time like this- though I'm not that bad right now -I'd probably, hopefully nicely, ask to be left by myself. My family and friends understand this, and know that in about fifteen minutes or so I should be perfectly willing to give them my time.

One more note: what Rosy said about the hypo and hyper empathy thing; I'm on the hyper side! The amount of empathy I feel can be incredibly crippling, and can keep me in situations that are not good for me at all. And again with body-language, facial expressions, tone-of-voice; those are all things I'm highly aware of, and have always been. So I often can tell when someone is upset based on those things, and then my empathy goes into over drive and I feel absolutely horrible because I have no idea what's wrong, and I want to make it better (if only so that I don't feel so terrible myself anymore).

Anyway, that's just my personal experience with autism. But of course we're all different! C: Hopefully I didn't forget anything.

My brother has autism (and prefers it to be referred to that way, rather than for it to be said he is autistic for the same reasons as Holy) and none of the girls in my family have been formerly diagnosed but may be carriers/ minor displayers of autism. There are two sources of autism in my family but the main one is Asperger syndrome - https://mymind.org/asperger-syndrome/?g ... swod8WIDhQ

The site is pretty accurate as far as my brother is concerned. The other is the form my dad has which is undiagnosed but generally acknowledged by our family. It is milder than my brother's and has been repressed because he was born and grew up during a time in the UK when people had to just get on with things and so he has very strong coping methods and comes across as a little reclusive rather than as someone who has autism. You have to know him well to start to recognise the signs.

The Asperger is from my mother's side - my uncle had it and she has the lesser, female form of it. Asperger is generally very mild in female carriers and usually results in us struggling with empathy/ emotions, social cues and intimacy. I couldn't say how much of my social awkwardness as a child was down to genes or environment - having parents who struggle with social/ emotional situations set me back in my own development. It may be that I'm not a carrier at all. My sister is reasonably certain we all are - she usually cites my own need for speech therapy and my affinity for maths as possible indicators. These are things I share with my brother and father.

My brother had a particularly bad strain of this as a child - he didn't learn to speak until he was 6/7 and he has something called 'TV emotions' where his body language is a lot more expressive because this is how he communicated. He has learned to tone this down now but even in his teens, he would hug teachers to show happiness or throw things at people when sad and this was just his way of saying 'I am sad'.

I say he had a bad strain because he is now considered very mild and this is due to close work with a specialist school and a lot of hard work on his part. Autism isn't curable but people can find coping methods and become better at coping so autism diagnosis's change over time - people get better or worse dependent on themselves and their environment.

My brother still suffers bad depression and is struggling to be independent. He's not great in social situations and logical statements have to be explained to him several times before he can learn to repeat them - and it's generally a repetition rather than a true understanding of why one behaviour is correct and another not. Most people wouldn't immediately realise my brother is autistic - they would class him as 'odd' but without being familiar with Asperger, they don't recognise it. When my friends have found out, they've often been surprised.

Okay, I'm not autistic, but my brother is. I haven't done much research on the subject and what is going on, but I've picked up a lot from watching. I'm just going to tell you what I see from the outside, I have little to no idea what's going on inside his head. My brother is three years older than me and still doesn't know how to talk, except to demand basic things (Fish burger, Nemo, Flushed Away, Raspberries...) and (Only when my mother demands it) to ask for things politely in complete sentences. He will walk around waving his hands, and saying gibberish. Because of his constant noise, I can't stand silence. It drives me nuts. Sometimes when I have some relative silence I can't stand it when he's there again.

Sometimes he demands certain things as an indicator that something's wrong. He might demand soda if he feels like he has gas (Which he registers as pain), and if we don't give it to him he'll have a melt-down. He can't communicate what's actually going on inside his head so we (Usually my mom and I) don't understand what's going on. He breaks a lot of things when he melts down (Examples: His chair, the toilet, my mother's thumb). But as soon as the problem is abated, he's back to his empathetic, affectionate self. Unless he's melting down he's almost always willing to help (And when he isn't and you insist that he helps he will melt down).

He's incredibly sensitive to touch, and only has a few things he will wear. I actually display some of this too. I will not wear jeans. They are evil. It used to be that I hated anything that was skin-tight or fitted. He will only wear T-shirts and what others would call pajama pants. If you tried to get him to wear something fitted he would probably melt down. He is also an extremely picky eater, and won't eat anything with a lot of spices.

He will also watch the same movies over and over again. I can now quote Shrek from beginning to end. If only he would wear headphones! Because he doesn't know how to speak english completely yet, I'm not allowed to watch anything in another language on the TV. I'm also not allowed to watch anything with ANY blood or gore on there, because it disturbs him. I can just imagine how he'd react to watching any of my books in movie form! *Shivers*

I guess in some ways I'm lucky though. He doesn't tease me, like I hear most brothers do. He'll try to help when I ask, but oftentimes he doesn't understand what I want. He's my brother, and that's the truth, no matter what.

My little brother and I are both autistic. His is milder though. I have both ADHD and Aspergers, and I have a huge trouble with focusing on homework. I'm also very hyper active and must always be doing something.

My brother has ADHD and Aspergers. He would seem normal if he's behaving (he can control most of his tics and stuff, but just doesn't want to because he's stubborn) but if you hang around him enough you pick up that he can't comprehend things like non-ADHD people. His main things are:

He doesn't get social cues (body language mostly)

He can't tell very well how something's affecting him. (If he doesn't feel right about something, he'll say he feels "weird" then can't figure out how to deal with it)

He just doesn't react the same way to things that most people do. He's hyperactive and is very touchy, and can't understand why he can't cuddle on everyone all the time (he's 14). In his mind it makes sense, and he doesn't (he can but won't in some cases) understand it any other way. It's "his way or the highway".

I am probably mildly ADHD too, idk. I'm hyper and easily distracted and get a bit OCD about certain things.

I have Asperger's Syndrome and ADD, although I haven't "received" an official diagnosis yet for some inexplicable reason.

Well, I have a very hard time with social situations and I generally don't know how to act or behave whenever I'm around people.

I don't like being touched, so there are very few who are allowed to. I don't really know why, but whenever someone touches me, some sort of "icky" feeling runs throughout my body and it feels as though it's going to drown me.

There are very few things that interest me and I get bored or lose focus very easily.

I can't understand the emotions, affections and/or empathy of others unless they are blatantly obvious and I have a hard time displaying my own feelings, so I'm often regarded as "cold".

I would continue, but most of what I have to say has already been covered, so I think I'll leave it at that unless you have any questions.

More bits since reading replies has reminded me of some things!

- Various forms of communication systems exist that allow non verbal autistic people to communicate. These include writing, pictures, prompting, and a whole bunch of others. Text apps exist, as do many apps with picture galleries that allow autistic people to communicate even if they can't speak. Speaking =/= communication.

- Relatives speaking over autistic people is a huge problem, and you should be highly questioning of sources that put parents/relatives voices above autistic voices (Autism Speaks and The Mighty come to mind). Most parents/relatives discuss how hard it is to live with autistic people, not recognizing they might be contributing to the stress by forcing them to behave unnaturally.

- Autistic people aren't burdens to society. The main narrative around autism, especially in the US, is that a child is better off normal or dead than "visibly" autistic, so the culture around it is highly damaging and leads to anxiety/ depression.

- This culture often leads to murders of autistic people by caregivers, and they receive almost no jail time. They can even become spokespeople for autism societies after being convicted. (This list is old, but it details a lot. It's very hard to read, especially since these problems are still ongoing)

- Autistic people really aren't any problems inherently. They're just different, and sometimes stress can cause us to present "more autistic" because we need our coping strategies to self regulate.

- Tics/repetitive movement/repeating things/vocalizations (including shouting, crying, singing)/watching the same series over and over again are often self regulatory behaviour that allows us to cope with our emotions better. The repetition is soothing, and familiar objects help us feel safe.

- Even if our environment is perfect we will often still go with comfort things just because we enjoy it and there's nothing wrong with this.

Autism isn't a problem unless a person is harming somebody else, but sadly the definition of "harming somebody else" is over-inflated where things like not making eye contact and not hugging are considered harm, instead of just part of who they are. Injuring others, touching them without their consent, and injuring yourself are what I mean when I say "harm."

Everything else about autism is just a case of coping strategies, or reactions to being pushed too hard.

As for myself, I grew up with my mother hating my autism and subjecting me to a lot of things that left very deep mental scars. I was forced to behave less autistic and more like a non-autistic person, and I have some very deep fears about how I exist just because I was subjected to it for so long.

I'm not very good at talking. I can give speeches very well and I have next to no stage fright, but on command words are hard. I much prefer texting, because I have more time to sort my thoughts in order. Meetings at work often involve long pauses as I try to wrestle with what it is I want to say.

I have lots and lots of special interests! Special interests are basically all-consuming things that help autistic people recharge, and they kinda take over our lives for awhile. My past special interests include psychology (I kinda always have this one), forensics, and researching cultures. I am also rather fond of learning about linguistics.

Every once and awhile I'll be gripped by a different special interest, like productivity apps. When I decide I want to learn how to be more productive, I will burn through every resource I can find and try a bunch. Schedules and planners are a current weakness. I see them and bounce around how I could improve them and make my own and how to use them.

I love tight fighting clothing! lol I feel like I'm unusual in that, but tight fitting clothing makes me feel hugged.

My sleep schedule is 2 am to 11 am, then I work in the afternoons, take a break in the evening, then work nights.

I have a lot of full body language, from bouncing to flapping to scratching. Sometimes whenever I see a statement I really agree with I make a gesture for how I'm feeling (usually raising my hands up in the air, and if it's counter-culture based then usually my hands are in horns because that's associated with counter-culture for me).

My best friends tend to share something with me because it creates a mutual ground of understanding. I've met most of my friends colab writing because I can explain my feelings in relation to characters, and that's easier for me. I like metaphor a lot, but some autistic people don't get metaphor at all.

I struggle to organize tasks and break them down. This is a thing known as executive dysfunction, where it basically measures your ability to do administrative-type tasks most people don't even think of as being hard. Like, "how do I answer this essay question?" has people figuring out how pretty quickly, but an autistic person might read that and go "well I've got to cover a b c but also 1 is important and I need to research but what do I look up how do I find the source what was I trying to cover again?"

I'm pretty independent, but chores drain me because they are so unpleasant, sensory-wise. Vacuuming makes me smell a lot of dust, dishes has the smell of water plus the texture, laundry is a lot of little steps to remember that takes a lot of energy to remember. Like, you don't think it's that hard, but I've included all the steps in spoiler:



And I wonder why I never fold anything. By the time I finish all that, I'm done. All chores are built up of a million little steps like that, and I trip over them a lot. Cooking, too.

I'm very formal as a defence mechanism, which is why most people find me very aloof. I just don't understand social situations, so my "default" is being extremely proper and reserved just because that's what program runs! Figure I'd rather be over-dressed than under-dressed.

Generally, I look like I'm not autistic because I'm fine in groups, love people, and know how to play the social game. But if you get to know me you spot a lot of little things that are definitely abnormal, and that's where the autistic traits bleed through to noticeable.

Another note, if it hasn't already been covered -- not all autistic people have dulled or dampened emotions or senses of empathy.

It's common in media to say "that person is autistic, they don't feel emotions" or "that person is autistic, they can't empathize with others". Some people don't feel emotions as strongly; others might not empathize as easily; however, that is not a universal narrative.

Personally, as an autistic person, I feel very strong emotions, and they cause their own physical effects.

For example: Frustration gives me a headache, and then I cry because of the headache -- I don't cry because I'm frustrated, but because I'm in pain. It feels like physical pressure inside my skull. This was impossible for me to communicate when I was younger, so a lot of people I grew up with assume that I'm just angry all the time and I cry to get my way. It's not like that at all! I cry to relieve pressure and try to regulate my emotions so I'm in less pain.

I was a hyperlexic child, and when I was younger the standards of autism diagnosis were focused more on the very obvious verbal communication aspect. I could communicate verbally just fine -- I can talk someone's ear off! -- and my word and number memory is amazing, mostly because I memorize most numbers that I come across regularly. I still know my home phone number from 10 years ago! Because of that, my parents didn't suspect I was autistic.

It wasn't until I got to high school that the possibility was raised. (I was 16 when I was diagnosed, like Holy!) One of my teachers (the kindest, best woman I have ever known) has an autistic son who displays the same signs as I do with emotions and communication, and when I told her I had been diagnosed, she said she called it from day one. She supported me a lot through high school, and I owe her my mental stability.

Another thing that I didn't see mentioned: I stutter a lot. Like, a lot a lot. A lot a lot a lot. And if I stutter too much that a word is messed up, I have to start from the beginning of the phrase I was saying. Usually the second time around I'll say it slower and more deliberately.

Likewise, if I'm interrupted by a loud sound or by the person I'm talking to, I have to start from the beginning again.

Ex:

Me: "Hi, how can I ha--how--hel... How. Can. I. Help. You. Today?"

Me: "Hi, how can I--"
Customer: "I'd like a number two."
Me: "...How can I help you today? A number two?" [Carry on as normal.]

I am not autistic and thus cannot add anything to this conversation, but I just wanted to say @Holysocks

I also sometimes have this thing where I think cars are too close in relation to our vehicle- and sometimes it's as bad as "OMG they're in our LANE coming towards us!!" but I'm not sure if that's part of my autism traits, or something else.

Isn't that a thing everyone thinks??? Like I feel this way sometimes. I feel like it's maybe a lot less often than you do, but at any rate I hope it's not actually a depth perception thing or something, because my vision is bad enough without added issues.

So I'm not autistic, but my twin brother, my grandfather is, and one of my friends is, so I've had a lot of experience with people who are autistic in varying degrees, so thought I'd drop by.

Basically, my understanding (mostly as a twin) is that, like what @Lareine said, it's not that autistic people can't empathize or feel emotions; it's that they have a difficult time reading others and their nonverbal or implied cues that those who are 'normal' (for lack of a better word) automatically understand; this includes nuances or subtleties in tone, body language, and things that are implied but not said.

However, many autistic people are sensitive and really do care, even if they come across as cold or uncaring or whatever; this is because most 'normal' people don't understand how someone cannot read those subtle cues and have social skills and instincts that they have.

I can't say this from the POV of someone who is autistic, only a friend, granddaughter, and twin, but from what I've found, you have to be honest, clear, and direct when expressing your feelings/thoughts/etc, because they won't pick up on anything not said.

I've found that autistic people can also be a bit egocentric - I don't mean all and I don't mean selfish or narcissistic; they are similar, but distinctly different. They often have a hard time seeing through the eyes of others or putting themselves in their shoes; often, its doesn't even occur to them. This is another thing that often makes people feel uncared for.

Every single autistic person I know is asynchronous - they are geniuses at some things, but lack others. For instance: my twin can write a haiku like no one I've ever met; he intuitively understands math and approaches it in a way that even my dad (who has a bachelor degree in physics) never thought of. However, he has a difficult time with fine motor activities and writing (though he's an amazing writer, it's just getting it onto paper; but he can dictate).

Those who are autistic have a hard time with transitions and unexpected changes; they need a solid, steady plan that stays the same - you need to say what you mean and follow through; and they have a very difficult time letting go of things and compromising, which is another reason they are so misunderstood.

I hope this helped, and again I'm just going to say that I'm not autistic, and all of this is based off experience with several different autistic friends and family; I speak only from them and what I've learned, so I'm not saying this is all autistic people or anything.

Not to get off-topic, but I'm not sure, @BlueAfrica! Maybe it is more common than I thought! o-o It's not fun in any case. XP

Sorry for the double post! I thought of some more things that may be relevant to writing a story with an autistic character.

In B.C. Canada - not sure about the rest of Canada or the US or anywhere else - if you get diagnosed with autism when you're a kid (before you're nineteen) you get a sort of government funding. The funding is basically to help pay for certain things that could help you learn coping skills, or help you pursue things that you're interested in. Generally it has to go through an agency, but this funding can pay for anything from speech therapists, to counsellors, to books, weighted blankets, dance lessons, tutors, etc. Pretty much anything that you think may be helpful. My friend who got diagnosed relatively shortly after I did, used some of her funding to pay for this really awesome horse-training class thing.

The idea of the funding is to help basically kick-start folks with autism. Sometimes it's that we need a little extra help in school because of problems like I mentioned earlier- trouble with math/reading. Sometimes it's for settling us into our niche. People with autism, once they find a niche, tend to do really well at what they do. In fact there are companies that specifically hire autistic people. That's not to be like "Oh we're SO awesome!" it's just to sort of hammer in what Rosy has been saying about autistic people not being a burden to society. There definitely is a lot of hate out there towards autistic people, but where I live, most of the time the attitude I see towards autism is very positive.

Another thing to note is people with mental disorders/disabilities tend to be more prone to other mental illnesses, like depression and what-not.

The BBC did a series of "things not to say to..." videos on youtube which are quite fun. This is the things not to say to an autistic person video. The whole series is interesting, I'd recommend checking it out if you enjoy diversity.