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Young Writers Society


Fantasy original fiction you wrote when you were 13



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Fri Nov 25, 2016 6:09 pm
JadeBunny says...



I'm writing a book where the main character gets stuck inside a story she wrote when she was 13 (she's 14 now) and I just want to see what you wrote when you were 13. It has to be fantasy and original fiction.
Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. -Benjamin Franklin
  





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Fri Nov 25, 2016 6:33 pm
Rosendorn says...



Quick question for you! Why only a year gap?
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

Ink is blood. Paper is bandages. The wounded press books to their heart to know they're not alone.
  





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Fri Nov 25, 2016 6:58 pm
JadeBunny says...



She rereads her writing a lot to see how she can improve, like I do.
Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. -Benjamin Franklin
  





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Fri Nov 25, 2016 7:04 pm
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Rosendorn says...



Alright, I was wondering because I wanted to know if you wanted writing at a similar level, or if you wanted the borderline culture shock that comes from a longer gap.
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

Ink is blood. Paper is bandages. The wounded press books to their heart to know they're not alone.
  





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17 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 249
Reviews: 17
Fri Nov 25, 2016 7:35 pm
JadeBunny says...



So what did you write?
Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. -Benjamin Franklin
  





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Fri Nov 25, 2016 8:18 pm
Rosendorn says...



I wrote a sappy rebellious princess romance where she plans to escape an arranged marriage but before she can, the villain sends her and her betrothed (his own son) out on a trip so they can both die before they steal his source of power, a special gemstone that's been lost to legend. It backfires, the son and main character both realize what a bad guy he is, they go on this valiant quest to kill him, succeed, fall in love in the process, but there's another bad guy so she has to go adventure again (which is what she's always wanted) but in the end she settles down and becomes his domestic wife.

I did not use contractions, either.

The same story, ten years later:

The MC's father has set her up to be a guard and a princess, and is now trying to get her into an arranged marriage. She has final say and is going along with it to not upset the way of things, while also making sure she keeps every scrap of political power she's hard won. In the process of navigating this, she discovers an underground trade that is threatening the black market, which is her main source of information. She has to decide if it's worth abandoning her position to fight the war, or if she'll let the war slide and hope it'll solve itself.

The opening page of the story, written when I was 13, under a different title:

Spoiler! :
Kerani was in her room, being draped in a hot, heavy, royal blue sari by her mother and sister-in-law, and fuming about it! She had spent the past three hours being dressed. Her hair had been braided, her eyes had been outlined in khol and she had been adorned with sapphire studded bracelets on her ankles and her wrists, a sapphire necklace was around her neck and a small sapphire teardrop was on her forehead. All through out the three torturous hours her mother had lectured her about the proper protocol of meeting the Prince. I should not be here right now. She thought to herself, I should be outside or reading or doing something besides standing here like a statue! I would not even be here if we did not need the money so badly, the crops have failed three years in a row! If only I did not have to show up at this stupid Choosing and king Akmal would just sent the money by courier, I would not have to stand in the sun, in this heavy thing on one of the hottest days of the year! Grumble, if my father were not the Rajput of Teragot I would be out of here before you could blink an eye! Sigh, but he is, and the people who depend on my father need the money too badly for me to vanish. Just then she saw both women step back, as if to admire their work.

“Kerani, you would make any prince’s heart melt.” Her mother said. She was positive that her daughter, the most eligible in the realm, would be chosen. “Now let’s go! We are almost late!” Kerani gave her brother’s wife one last hug, and waved good-bye to her little niece. And followed her mother out onto the street.

As they were walking to the Choosing, Kerani’s mother continued to lecture her.

“Remember what I have taught you Kerani. Say it to me so I know you know.” Kerani almost sighed at the demand to say the rules again. Once she felt she could keep the boredom out of her voice she answered.

“Keep my head down until my chin is lifted by the prince, say my name clearly so he, along with everybody else in the city, can hear me and when he asks me why he should choose me tell him that I am devout, obedient and well mannered.” Her mother brushed a stray hair from Kerani’s face.

“Very good! But when you do it for real, say it with more enthusiasm!” Kerani fought the urge to role her eyes at her mother, couldn’t she see how silly she looked when she did that? Her mother stopped at a line of girls in the town square. “Here we are.” Before Kerani could even pause, she was pushed in line so hard she almost fell. Even though she really, really did not want to do this, she had realized that she had no choice. She did not want to leave everything she had ever known, but her father’s people needed the money too much. Fighting tears of sorrow and boredom, she waited.

Finally she felt someone come near, she had been able to feel people around her since she was small, soon after saw a shadow come near, and in a few moments it was in front of her. She felt a hand on her chin. It lifted her head up, and she was looking right at the handsomest, kindest looking man she had ever seen! He had light brown skin, an average sized nose with a slight arch in it, thin lips and the kindest olive green eyes Kerani had witnessed on a person.

“What is your name child?” She fought the urge to lick suddenly dry lips.

“Kerani of Shira”, hurriedly she added in, “your highness.” He barely paused open hearing her name.

“Well Kerani of Shira, why should I choose you, instead of one of the other girls I see before me?” Kerani’s mind began to race, why should he choose her? Now that she wanted to be chosen, she wanted to say something, different, something that no other girl would say.

“Because I’m me!” The entire town gasped, but the prince’s only reaction was that one eyebrow shot up.

“Very well Kerani.” And he moved on to the next girl. A man followed behind the prince, dropping bags of gold coins at each girl’s feet. It was the promised money. As Kerani saw a large bag of coins fall at her feet, she realized that if she were given a chance to do this entire day over, she would not change her answer, not for the world.


About the same amount of words from the latest draft, ten years later:

Spoiler! :
I wondered if this is how souls felt, waiting for judgment after death.

Only, instead of Fate deciding, the results hinged on what I’d find out tonight, and my parents.

I’d already called for my two primary training partners to accompany me tonight. After months of evaluating every eligible man in the family, I had potentially found one who was clear. I’d have rejected every single one of them had it meant I could avoid a husband. However, that would have resulted in my parents choosing a husband for me, and I liked to have some semblance of choice over who I’d spend the rest of my life with.

I adjusted my leather vest and bicep guards, making sure they didn’t leave too much of my undershirt exposed. Over that went a dark red shirt cut exactly like guards for my family, and on top of everything went my scaled bracers, in metal this time.

No point in staying in this room any longer. I felt like a caged animal enough, waiting for moonrise. I’d survived in the middle of the mountains in the dead of winter during a snowstorm, and my parents insisted I have good visibility every time I went out to the city. I didn’t even pretend to understand it.

I closed the door to the noble’s wing, hollow thud reverberating in the cavernous stone hallway without a single carpet to control the sound. It was easier to clean this transition to the outdoors when everything was tile. My footsteps echoed, here, making it Aydin could hear me on top of sensing me as he leaned against a post by the entrance to the courtyard.

“Do you have to run a background check on everybody you’re interacting with?”

I grinned at him. “Yes.”

He shook his head as I walked past, scales of his bracers grating as he uncrossed his arms. I nodded to Sakari in the courtyard; she sat up from leaning over her legs, stretching them. The feathers on her gold bracers were gold-tinted.

“Did you really have to wear your nicest armour when I’m trying to be inconspicuous?”

She bounced up. “It’s one little piece of gold.”

Elementalists. Always trying to stand out somehow.

Aydin clasped my shoulder as he walked past, before sitting on the fence outside the official training grounds. “You’re out early.”

I folded my arms over the fence beside him, eyes on the gate, nodding without any reason why past acknowledging I’d heard.

Sakari worked on stretching her arms. “Either your parents, your siblings, your possible future husband, or none of the above.”

I snorted, one hand rubbing my forehead. “All of the above? I don’t know. I just didn’t want to be inside.”

They waited in silence, only watching me out of a corner of their eye and a sliver of their presence. Eventually I sighed and turned my head up to pink and purple clouds. “Suraj is so Empire obsessed I have no idea why I’m even picking him.”

I felt Sakari and Aydin look between each other, and I knew they were debating the pros and cons of saying all the reasons I’d told them with their eyes alone. I held my breath and they got the message.

“I’ve saved his life twice,” I said, “maybe that’ll be enough.”

Sakari folded in half, tilting her head up so she wasn’t speaking to the ground. “He’d be an idiot to not let you stay a guard.”

I raised an eyebrow. “It’s the Empire. They think women can afford to rely on their husbands down there.”

“They took Ranya, though,” Aydin said. “Knowing she was steel like you.”

I smirked, trying not to grimace at the reminder she was gone. “No… we let them think she was soft. Can’t wait to see what she comes up with as empress.”

Sakari dropped down into a crouch to properly look at me. “They still knew she was your sister, and had to have inherited some steel from your mother.”

I shrugged, effectively ending the conversation. Her marriage contract was signed. She’d be empress one day. I didn’t want to think of what could happen between then and now. Not when I couldn’t protect her from it anymore.

The sky was now dark purple in the east, first signs of stars appearing above my head. Aydin slid off the fence to the inside, going to stretch himself. “What’ll happen if he doesn’t let you keep your daggers?”

I rested a chin on my fist. “Well, he’d not have anybody to protect him should something happen.”

There was an art to saying potentially treasonous statements as simple facts. My parents knew decommissioning me was one of the riskiest moves they could do— why I was even allowed to chose my own husband in the first place. Suraj was second in line for the province’s throne, with a handful of people in third. I’d learned over the years people hated being in third, moreso than second.

No doubt in my mind he’d need my protection. The question was if he’d let me give it.
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

Ink is blood. Paper is bandages. The wounded press books to their heart to know they're not alone.
  





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Fri Nov 25, 2016 8:28 pm
Wolfi says...



At eleven I wrote about a corrupt black panther king named Nero, tainted and impassioned by human cruelty, who ruled over all the species of cats in the world and waged war on the cordial "canine clan." I was so proud of that book xD

By thirteen, I had moved on to slightly more realistic stuff (no talking animals), something that would evolve into the novel I'm writing now. Most of what I wrote that year I posted on YWS.

Here, have an excerpt from the very beginning:
Spoiler! :
THE WORLD AROUND HIM was a blur of colors. He was spinning, turning, and flipping incessantly, unable to stop. He thought it felt like he was rolling down a steep, endless hill. He shut his eyes and hugged himself as currents of air billowed through his clothes. Through his eyelids he could discern rapid flashes of light. There were also short moments when there was complete darkness.

Abruptly, he stopped spinning. But he hadn’t reached the end of the hill. The feelings of terror he experienced had not abated for long when a fresh fear overwhelmed him.

He was falling.

Cool morning air whipped past him as he plummeted towards the ground. Below him was a thick herd of jet-black, deer-like creatures. As he rapidly descended, he could see that they had white antlers that were as sharp as knives.
John 14:27:
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.
I do not give to you as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled
and do not be afraid.
  





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Fri Nov 25, 2016 9:05 pm
JadeBunny says...



Also, can you recommend some books where the main character goes into a book that are NOT Inkheart?
Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. -Benjamin Franklin
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 249
Reviews: 17
Fri Nov 25, 2016 10:55 pm
JadeBunny says...



No Inkheart because I read it and didn't like it very much, but it was originally German so it probably was just bad translation. Are you a fan of Warriors by any chance, Wolfical?
Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. -Benjamin Franklin
  





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Sat Nov 26, 2016 12:29 am
Featherstone says...



First, I am 13, just so it'll make sense that I'm still writing them.

I have the partially-written Wolfsbane Chronicles with two MCs as of the second book and 1 in the first. The first one is called Tasha (formerly Agrona) who was raised by the werewolves but was cast out and later became a Hunter (an order who hunts werewolves). The other character, Silver, has the exact opposite backstory.

The second one is the partially-written Shadowsong (that takes place in the same world as Wolfsbane) about a fallen angel with a rather complicated backstory. Long story short, she was an angel who fell (surprise!) and joined the demons before being captured. The book begins when she is freed to help battle the rising darkness and she must decide whether she will go the path of evil or good.

The chapters are below, if you're interested:

Shadowsong: Prologue

Shadowsong: Chapter 1

Shadowsong: Chapter 2- This World of Light

Huntress, Chapter 1: Pack (Book 1 in the Wolfsbane Chronicles)

Huntress- Chapter 2: Pride (Book 1 in the Wolfsbane Chronicles)
"All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost."


he/him/his
  





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440 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 6836
Reviews: 440
Sat Nov 26, 2016 12:41 am
Wolfi says...



I never read the Warriors series, but I did read the Seekers one with the bears.
John 14:27:
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.
I do not give to you as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled
and do not be afraid.
  








cron
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