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Teary Male Character



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Sun Sep 28, 2014 3:20 am
Holysocks says...



I'm writing the third chapter of the story I'm working on, and, well... my MC, who is a dude, has a scene where he cries himself to sleep... He's a very manly character, but he has been through a lot in the last two chapters ( He's just found out that his two little sisters, and both his parents, are dead ).

I'm wondering if the third chapter is too soon for him to break down... or if he even should break down, I don't know. I'm pretty sure I've considered all the is it in your characters character to do this questions... I just don't know. Let me know if you need to know more, or whatever. Thanks!
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Sun Sep 28, 2014 6:38 am
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Rosendorn says...



If he's an emotional guy, then he's an emotional guy. Some guys don't cry ever, other guys cry often (I know one guy who semi often looks like he's just been crying).

Two questions:
1- Is he normally emotional?
2- What is his breaking point for showing emotion?

2 is the really important one— if you've established that, yes, the current situation is his emotional breaking point, then the scene's just fine.
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Sun Sep 28, 2014 11:04 am
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Snowery says...



Hey Holy!

I personally love it when a manly male character sort of lets down his walls and cries some. So first of all, I do think the breaking down is a good idea. How soon he breaks down though might be the question you want to ask yourself.
Some points to consider:
-How well does the reader get to know him before the breaking down? A reader will feel the scene more and be more affected if they are attached to him.
-Even though you know that he's a manly sort of dude, how well does the reader get to see this within two to three chapters? Maybe they won't get it and just see him as an emotional sort of guy?

Also remember that how you write the scene is really important too. Is he thinking about his family and then realises that he's crying? Does it start off as choking sobs which he tries to fight off before turning into a full flown flood? Or does he push his face into a pillow and hope no one sees him crying though he's alone? How you have him crying will reveal a lot about who he is and I think it would be a great chance for your readers to really connect with him.

Hope I've helped! :D
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Sun Sep 28, 2014 8:54 pm
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Prokaryote says...



I would probably cry if my whole family died. Keep in mind that I'm a hyper-masculine man's man who can do one thousand stomach crunches while balancing on my left pinky finger, right arm held out at the side to demonstrate superiour musculature to any watching, and heart-shaped sunglasses slipping down my nose so I can give you a reassuring wink because, uh, don't worry, I don't make mistakes.

So if he's even a sliver more feminine than me, yes he does cry and probably quite a lot actually.
  





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Mon Sep 29, 2014 2:08 pm
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Freddy says...



Interesting task. Let me share my opinion.

If he's a mentally strong person, I wouldn't write about him crying. Instead, I would use the fact that his closest family died as some kind of personal motivation. Usually, when you lose parents, you grow up faster and you feel like you want to achieve a great success. Let me use myself as an example. My 'father' (on paper) abandoned me when I was an infant. I've been raised by a single mother, who unfortunately, died from cancer when I was twelve. Exactly two weeks before my thirteenth birthday. My grandparents died about six months before my mother, both in a one week time-span, during Christmas. I was then living with my older brother and I'm currently under my older sister's wing. And I don't even feel like crying, at all. It's a honest truth; first-hand example.

I have a lot to prove, and my ambition is probably bigger than Golden Gate bridge. I want to live a successful life, perhaps because my childhood wasn't as 'stereotypical' as it supposed to be.

But still, people are different. Some cry and stay sorrowful, I simply moved on, because you can't go back in life. It's not a movie with Michael J. Fox.

Finishing, you can create a mixture of both types of personalities I aforementioned. You can create a facade character; normal on the outside, sorrowful and/or lonely on the inside. This would be interesting, I'm sure of it.

Hope I helped.

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Mon Sep 29, 2014 3:11 pm
Holysocks says...



Thank you all! This is very helpful. :-D
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Wed Oct 01, 2014 7:34 pm
Holysocks says...



One more thing I thought of though: It's quite soon after he finds out about his family's deaths... and I was wondering if it would be too soon in the way that he might still be in shock.

I suppose maybe I just have to think about that for myself. :-P
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Wed Oct 01, 2014 7:52 pm
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Rosendorn says...



Various reactions to tragedy that provide characterization.

He might be in shock, he might start crying immediately. No "right way" to react to a super traumatic event.
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

Ink is blood. Paper is bandages. The wounded press books to their heart to know they're not alone.
  





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Wed Oct 01, 2014 8:04 pm
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Holysocks says...



Thanks Rosey!
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Sun Oct 05, 2014 10:47 pm
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Astronaut says...



My recommendation is that, if he's a "manly" character, he shouldn't break down just yet. Not because people in real life wouldn't, but because you're still establishing his character. And then later in the book, perhaps he does break down, because, well, he's human. Not to mention, if he just found out his whole family died, he would probably still be in denial.

But that's just my two cents ;)
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Sun Oct 05, 2014 11:49 pm
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Rosendorn says...



Establishing character = determining the full scope of emotional reaction for various events. That's kinda what "establishing" means. It means getting to understand how the character reacts to a wide variety of situations.

Having a manly man break down and cry after an extreme tragedy is establishing character. It's establishing that's his breaking point. People can still understand he's a manly character who isn't all that emotional outside of extreme tragedy.

You establish even more character by how he continues working off of the tragedy. He can feel like he went too soft, too emotional, too teary. How he reacts to his own emotional reaction is establishing character as well.

Establishing character is not keeping a character rigidly a certain stereotype. It means showing how people react. Showing an extreme emotional event is a perfect way to establish character, because you show how the character breaks, then how they rebuild. You show their raw emotions and their reactions to raw emotions.

An extremely traumatic event that makes a person appear to behave out of character is one of the best ways to establish a character I can think of. Because you get so much emotional scope in both the "normal" reaction (the previous chapter), the immediate reaction to trauma, and the long term reaction to trauma. All of those things establish character.

Don't stifle your character's emotions simply because you think "establishing character" means keeping them static for a certain period of time. Establishing character requires fluidity, and you never truly stop establishing character throughout the whole story. Every single reaction the character has is establishing their character, regardless of whether it's at the beginning of the story or the very last scene. Don't stick to one stereotype for any longer than necessary, simply because you feel you have to do that to establish character. You don't.
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

Ink is blood. Paper is bandages. The wounded press books to their heart to know they're not alone.
  








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