z

Young Writers Society


Punctuation Question



User avatar
7 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 269
Reviews: 7
Tue Aug 19, 2014 2:43 am
Faithhope says...



I'm writing a post for my blog. I've never been great at remembering punctuation rules, so I need some advice. What would be the best way to write this?
"Sometimes it is filled with darkness, with only far off specks of light. Sometimes it is gray and foggy. Sometimes it is blindingly bright, bursting with warmth. And sometimes it is a phenomenal canvas of swirling clouds, lit by a medley of color; sailing in every direction. "
Is it good? Or should it be separated by commas instead of periods? It would be great if I could know ASAP! Thanks! :)
  





User avatar
289 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: None specified
Points: 30323
Reviews: 289
Tue Aug 19, 2014 3:22 am
View Likes
Caesar says...



I am not renowned as a grammar person -- that would be @ShadowVyper -- but I can say this looks correct. Try replacing the full stops with commas, you'll notice it becomes much too run-on. Maybe the only thing is a comma instead of that semicolon. Those indicate a longer pause, which doesn't make much sense given the context. I've been told they're mostly used (when poetic license isn't applied) in lists or other such things.
vulgus vult decipi, ergo decipiatur


  





User avatar
308 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 31200
Reviews: 308
Wed Aug 20, 2014 12:29 am
GoldFlame says...



The semicolon's incorrect; try exchanging it for a comma or an ellipsis, or an M-dash (with a little tweaking, you could probably make it work?). Here's why:

Correct: ^sentence above
Incorrect: He sighed; turning to face the door.

Semicolons' sole purposes are connecting independent clauses and separating items in lists (independent clauses--phrases that can function as sentences). And if there's a comma in the first clause, you can add a conjunction: "When I finish here, and I will soon, I'll be glad to help you; and that's a promise I'll keep."

This might help.

Otherwise, it looks great!
β€œHe leant tensely against the wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.” – Douglas Adams
  





User avatar
7 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 269
Reviews: 7
Wed Aug 20, 2014 4:33 pm
View Likes
Faithhope says...



Thank you for the tips! :)
  








A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
— Robert Frost