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Young Writers Society


Wordy! Arghh! Ahhh! Nooo!



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Sat Apr 19, 2014 5:50 am
GreenLight24 says...



Hi, ppl. So here's what's goin' down. I like to write with a very aesthetic style that employs lots of vivid imagery and really long, drawn out syntax. However, Ive been struggling to make my sentences (especially descriptive ones) less wordy. I feel like maybe I'm overusing adjectives but idk. It just doesn't feel right to me if a sentence doesn't sound a certain way. Some tips on cutting my writing down a bit but still keeping the aesthetics would be much appreciated. PM me if u think u can help! :D
"My Wellspring of Wisdom told me so!"

-Victorique De Blois, Gosick.
  





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Sat Apr 19, 2014 4:50 pm
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Rosendorn says...



1- Cut every descriptive modifier (adverbs and adjectives) you have. Remove all -ly words and see how much that cuts your prose down.

2- Write sentences with one or two ideas max. Therefore you can write a simple sentence, or a compound sentence with one dependent clause and one independent clause.

2.5- Avoid semi colons to link ideas together, along with comma+ coordinating conjunctions (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so, aka fanboys)

3- Obsessively cut out anything that does one of the following:
a) Says something in a sentence you can say in a word
b) Does not move character development or the plot forward
c) Describes because "readers need to know that" (Chances are, they don't!)
d) Provides information before a question about that information has been asked

4- Read minimalistic prose. Avoid the dense, flowery writers for awhile and read writers who don't employ it. Learn from example.
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

Ink is blood. Paper is bandages. The wounded press books to their heart to know they're not alone.
  





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Sat Apr 19, 2014 7:37 pm
GreenLight24 says...



Thank you so much for this advice! All of these things are very helpful and I will take them into account! :D I appreciate it!
"My Wellspring of Wisdom told me so!"

-Victorique De Blois, Gosick.
  





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Sun Apr 20, 2014 1:04 pm
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LadySpark says...



I'm the same way! I have a very descriptive way of writing prose that seems to always get me in trouble. What I did was a two step process to get myself out of the habit was to bring in another view. My YWS best friend and I would spend hours working on what I'd already written. Looking at the way I wrote and why some of it was too wordy. Then, we'd edit. Edit edit edit the stuff I'd already written. Using the stuff Rosey suggested is great, but making it a habit is hard. You don't want to have to spend forever editing it and not changing the root of the problem, the actual writing itself. If you practice editing, and then write purposefully, eventually you'll be able to write less-wordy pieces without even having to think about it.
hush, my sweet
these tornadoes are for you


-Richard Siken


Formerly SparkToFlame
  





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Sun Apr 20, 2014 9:50 pm
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Tenyo says...



I just went and stalked your portfolio to see what you were talking about, and personally I think your work looks fine. Really good, actually. You are quite descriptive but I really like that, especially how much variation you put into your sentences and vocabulary.

Why is it that you want to change your style?
We were born to be amazing.
  





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Sun Apr 20, 2014 11:13 pm
GreenLight24 says...



Lol Thanks! :D It's not so much that I want to change my style, I just feel like I sometimes draw sentences out too long for the effect to really take hold. It's mostly a problem I've been having with my more recent works. Now that you mention it though, it works pretty well for me. Hmm.
"My Wellspring of Wisdom told me so!"

-Victorique De Blois, Gosick.
  





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Mon Apr 21, 2014 2:50 am
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Rosendorn says...



Some people are naturally very dense, descriptive writers. It only starts to become a problem when readers can't read anything.

However, I would still maintain all sentences you write doing something (3 b-d), and avoiding putting in more than 3 ideas per sentence.
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

Ink is blood. Paper is bandages. The wounded press books to their heart to know they're not alone.
  





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159 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 7867
Reviews: 159
Mon Apr 21, 2014 3:00 am
GreenLight24 says...



I feel u. Thanks! :D
"My Wellspring of Wisdom told me so!"

-Victorique De Blois, Gosick.
  








Every empire tells itself and the world that it is unlike all other empires.
— Edward Said