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Is my writing style too pretentious?

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Wed Jul 08, 2015 3:22 am
ClackFlip says...

I don't know if this is the right place to put this thread, so if it's not please tell me.
But, yes, this is a question I seem to be debating internally over for a couple months now.
You see, whenever I write a scene or something it always comes off to me as a "I'm a visionary (who's actually just imitating things he's not talented enough to pull off.)

For example, I'll use some metaphors that I think sound poetic/lyrical, but does it go too far?
Her words were as unpleasant as a biting winters wind

His eyes were angry, angry as a fire consuming wood.

Those were a bit cliched but you get my point right? They could come off as slightly snooty.

It''s either that or I use big words that really aren't necessary to tell the story.
"Why?" He inquired

Why not just say: "He asked."?

Or my sentences drag on unnecessarily :
The table was removed from the other tables so people who sat at it could have a private confab.

Why not just go "The table was in a tight corner so people could have a little privacy."

Is this a matter of my "Voice" coming through and should I change it if I don't like it or do you just think I'm being my worst critic?
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled, was convincing the world he didn't exist.
And like ash in the wind, he was gone.
The man who lived.
The myth long forgotten.
The legend that lives on.

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Wed Jul 08, 2015 12:45 pm
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Vervain says...

Honestly, if you don't like how your writing comes across to you and you don't think it's a good representative of how you want your story to be told... Change it, yeah.

You obviously know what's not quite right with your style at the moment, considering you could point out a few of the things that make you feel uncomfortable—so change it, change it to the other style, and see if that feels better.

However, if you really like the more "pretentious" (in your words) style of writing, then why change it? If it's something that you think could tell your story well, then why change it? Especially now, if you're working on a first draft; editing can always come later in that case.

Your voice isn't something that we can dictate, necessarily. It's not like grammar and punctuation rules, that should probably be followed 98% of the time in writing prose, depending on how the work is conveyed.

Your voice is something that you think can tell the story well, that you're comfortable writing, and that your audience is comfortable reading. And honestly, while I think that some parts of your style are a bit too clunky and formal in my personal book (which is not to say it's the bottom line, but dialogue tags in general tend to be awkward, so I would stick with "asked" instead of "inquired"), I would be pretty comfortable reading things about that private confab at the table removed from the others.
stay off the faerie paths

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Fri Jul 10, 2015 6:04 pm
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Tenyo says...

Is your writing style too pretentious, or are you just insecure and blame it on the idea that your writing might be too pretentious? Like how people insecure with their looks will blame it on their imperfections which they believe are the cause of their insecurity, rather than looking inwardly. The same thing happens with your work.

There are always going to be things you don't like about your writing, just do whatever feels natural and if you decide to change it then practice a new technique and let your style adapt, rather than trying to force something new based on an insecurity within yourself.
We were born to be amazing.

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Mon Mar 04, 2019 5:18 pm
LordWolf says...

Also bumping this one without adding anything to the conversation.

When in doubt, work it out.

"I think; therefore, I am."
— René Descartes