Young Writers Society

How could I describe my character from this POV? I mean, we all know TPL is basically third person but following an specific character's view and thoughts. How could I describe that character without breaking immersion and using a mirror/device?

One way I like to use is to have another character say something like "your hair is messy." Then have the narration say something like "they were right. Character's brown was messy." Then the reader learns the main character has brown hair, and you slip things like this in often throughout the beginning of the story. Obviously my example sounded unnatural because it was an example, but it's an example. You'd make a more realistic example, I'm sure. In TPL, other characters are the most helpful.

I usually mention descriptions offhandedly in TPL - I'll have a character do something with their hair and mention that the hair is black. Here's a good example: "Glaring at all who dared to laugh, Zogin pushed a strand of short, dark brown hair out of her face." If you ever switch the point of view for your story so it is told from the perspective of someone else, you can slip a description in.

Well, here are a few options...

1. Have them look in a mirror and observe their reflection. DO NOT DO THIS. This is an aggravating trick used by everyone at least once in their life, until you realize every beginning writer ever tries to use this trick, and I don't have words for all the reasons it irritates me.

2. Have the descriptions be part of an action. Eg they need to shrug on their secondhand jacket, straighten their tie, that sort of thing. Brushing hair out of the face falls here, but that's one that's heavily tropey and is getting to the point where it's not too far from the mirror thing. I have done this (with the hair), but honestly I use it more as a reminder deep in the novel, than for its introduction, and even then it was tying it into a ponytail while observing how haggard her face looked from crying (or another instance, a character thinking about how his black hair made him stand out on a particular planet).

3. Dialogue. This one's tricky and context-dependent. Most easily accomplished with someone telling them what a third person said. (Like, "He said he talked to the tall guy with the curly hair." in a 'that must have been you' conversation).

4. Don't. I actually recommend this option. We DO NOT NEED to know physical details of the MC, or at least not much. If it comes up when you switch to other POVs, fine. If you can sneak it in smoothly, great. If not, don't force it, IT'S NOT IMPORTANT. This is honestly the #1 indicator of amateur writers: forcing physical descriptions of the MC into the narrative where they don't belong. Like, it stands out to me more than characters waking up, more than "As you know, Bob" dialogue, more than any of it! Ohh I could write a really long rant about this topic. But the short version is... the story won't fall apart if you don't mention the physical details. Readers are not likely to even notice. Ignore reviewers who ask you to describe more of it, that's very common among beginning writers who do it themselves and don't know better. No offense to anyone. If you're reading this and realize you're guilty of it in your story--just go edit it out

Hey Zackymas!

Describe them as any other Third Person character. Third Person Limited gives you the benefit of being able to use First Person techniques (like the unreliable narrator and steams of consciousness) whilst still being able to describe your character as a separate (or alternative) entity to the narrator. It might inhibit you from describing an event happening in the other room, but as long as your character has at some point looked in the mirror and is aware of their own appearance, it's fine to use that in text.

There are other methods mentioned above that you could use, with varying degrees of purpose and precision, depending on your style of writing and confidence in your abilities. Where the perspective is concerned you can describe a protagonist as you would in any other Third Person character.

Another tip:

Describe the person how they see themselves. Don't go for an "author voice" where you're semi-objectively describing the character's features. Describe what features they would notice about themselves, in the words they would use. It helps get a level of authenticity for the voice and helps characterize the individual, for how they see themselves.

Also, don't worry too much about description in early drafts. Often, you'll adjust the description amounts as your voice moves on, and you'll find the sweet spot for pacing and balancing action with exposition over multiple drafts. My first draft over-described, and my second draft is under-describing.

The most important thing is to determine a sort of "visual identity" for the character in question. Much like how comic artists need to create reference drawings for their characters, writers should do something similar just to get an idea of what features are "general", and what features are signature to the character in question. Signature features have more description allocated to them, because these signature features are what make the characters memorable.

But, that's all stuff you figure out as you go. Just keep writing and keep trying out new things, and you'll figure out your style eventually.