z

Young Writers Society


NaNo '19: Isle of Gold



User avatar
351 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 14090
Reviews: 351
Wed Oct 30, 2019 3:52 am
View Likes
mellifera says...



I deliberated between choosing between my Camp NaNo project and my last LMS project but I got so much wonderful feedback on my LMS and I'd taken a longer break from it so she's back at it again!

Changed the title from The Hero's Brother > Isle of Gold (still call it carter's support group at times though but at this point ALL the boys need a support group. shiloh needs some decision counselling. isha[?] is killing the game. support will be an upcoming necessity for whisper).

I'm going the traditional 50k in a month challenge, running alongside my current LMS project.

If you're interested in what this project is about, I do already have a Writers' Corner Thread. If you have an account over on nanowrimo.org, you can add me as the same username I have on here (mellifera)!

I definitely won't be publishing this during November, but eventually I might replace the first draft I do have up on here with the second draft for new feedback on what's changed? Don't know,,, how I will do that with LMS running right now, but I will Consider. This novel will definitely go over 50k anyway, which means I will not be finishing in November no matter how crazy I go.

Funnily enough, I was writing this one in parallel to NaNo last year. Maybe next year Starry Veins will be my NaNo project.

I'll see how I format this as it comes up, I'll update this thread daily as I got along. As for extra snippets, might go through my playlist, talk about why I picked the songs I did? Maybe I'll put in short scenes? Add in fun facts? Who Knows. I'll try to do something exciting (I did snippets last year, remember getting really tired of doing them at some point in combination with really not liking the novel I was writing that much, so I guess we'll see how I'm feeling). Maybe I'll put up daily memes cause I've got so, so many sitting in my folders collecting dust.
I believe in a universe that doesn't care and people that do.

You and I, we are matter, and it matters.

they/them
  





User avatar
414 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 31420
Reviews: 414
Thu Oct 31, 2019 5:34 pm
View Likes
keystrings says...



Alright! I absolutely loved the chapters of The Hero's Brother that I was able to read/review. I'm looking forward to seeing little snippets of this or whatever you plan on doing!!
name: key/string/perks
pronouns: she/her/hers and they/them/theirs


novel: the clocktower (camp nano apr 24)
poetry: the beauty of the untold (napo 2024)
  





User avatar
1464 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Female
Points: 83957
Reviews: 1464
Thu Oct 31, 2019 7:07 pm
View Likes
JabberHut says...



EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I'm so excited to see the next draft!!

I hope to hear much about Koshar's existence or lacktherof!
I make my own policies.
  





User avatar
351 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 14090
Reviews: 351
Fri Nov 01, 2019 5:27 pm
View Likes
mellifera says...



I hope to hear much about Koshar's existence or lacktherof!


this is the best response anyone could have given me ahaha I THINK I've incorporated him in such a way that I will be fORCED not to forget about him all the time but I guess we will find out :p

thank you guys <33 I'm excited to start the process of making it better hopefully (':
I believe in a universe that doesn't care and people that do.

You and I, we are matter, and it matters.

they/them
  





User avatar
351 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 14090
Reviews: 351
Fri Nov 01, 2019 5:44 pm
View Likes
mellifera says...



Day One Progress


Daily Word Count: 2,146/1,667

Total NaNo Word Count: 2,146/50,000

Mood of the Chapter:
Spoiler! :
Image


Thoughts:

AND SO IT BEGINS

Was worried this morning as I have a bUSY DAY but it is a little past noon and I've gotten a little extra done for the day (this is literally the worst weekend NaNo could have started on haha) so at least I've got that going for me.

Chapter One is done and has made me feel A Little better about trying to cut back on the word count from the first draft (it was over 140k long :() and I haven't finished my outline, but it's getting LONG and I've been stressing about it the last few days. IT CAN BE FIXED LATER I KNOW but it's still stressing me even though it's well established that I am a big overwriter and the time for cutting will be later. Anyway, I think chapter one is about 2k shorter than the last one, so here's hoping the rest stay on a similar course.

I am, however, actually pretty happy (for now lol) with how Carter's personality is starting off? I think I missed the bar on how AWARE Carter is of what's going on, and further missed the bar on how willfully ignorant he is when something bad happens, but I think? that's improving? guess we'll see how consistent it is (and how it develops later on and all that).

Also looking back, I wrote "A drink, and then back to work" and now I realise that this makes it sound like Carter is day drinking from stress which is pretty funny since it's so wildly inaccurate but I'm not changing it.


First and Last Line:
No matter how many times Carter read the note, he couldn’t make sense of it.


He barely heard the scuff of a boot before an unfamiliar voice said, “Show me your hands. No sudden movements.”
I believe in a universe that doesn't care and people that do.

You and I, we are matter, and it matters.

they/them
  





User avatar
414 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 31420
Reviews: 414
Fri Nov 01, 2019 7:01 pm
View Likes
keystrings says...



Great job! I love the mood pic XD I am always impressed by how much you can write, so keep it up. The first and last lines are pretty neat too. (You're doing so great!!)
name: key/string/perks
pronouns: she/her/hers and they/them/theirs


novel: the clocktower (camp nano apr 24)
poetry: the beauty of the untold (napo 2024)
  





User avatar
351 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 14090
Reviews: 351
Sat Nov 02, 2019 3:23 am
View Likes
mellifera says...



oh haha thank you! <3
I believe in a universe that doesn't care and people that do.

You and I, we are matter, and it matters.

they/them
  





User avatar
351 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 14090
Reviews: 351
Sat Nov 02, 2019 6:24 pm
View Likes
mellifera says...



Day Two Progress


Daily Word Count: 2,108/1,667

Total NaNo Word Count: 4,254/50,000

Mood of the Chapter:
Spoiler! :
Image


Thoughts:

Today has been Rough all over, but I got it done. I'm actually pretty unhappy stylistically with this chapter, it's just... ugh. It reads like a script. Everyone is just looking at everyone else.
I still cut it down over 2k again from how it was last time, and there won't be so much run around like there was in the first draft, but like,,, it's rough.

Also I've spent so much time forcing the narrative to conform so that it makes sense for Isha and Gideon to trust Carter with information and coming with them, I forgot to think about why Carter should trust them and actually agree to come. I fit it in, but it was a speed bump I really didn't need right now.

I got it done though, so at least there's that. Editing is for later.


Favourite Line (I guess?):
It wasn’t like he knew how to handle this situation. This was incredibly not-routine. He had never been ambushed by terrifying—albeit pretty—men with scars and arrows and vicious scowls.
I believe in a universe that doesn't care and people that do.

You and I, we are matter, and it matters.

they/them
  





User avatar
351 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 14090
Reviews: 351
Sun Nov 03, 2019 11:26 pm
View Likes
mellifera says...



Day Three Progress


Daily Word Count: 1,999/1,667

Total NaNo Word Count: 6,253/50,000

Mood of the Chapter:
Spoiler! :
could have also applied to chapter 2 because of gideon but I'll put here (still because of gideon)
Image


Thoughts:

I'm feeling better, had a much better day overall. I started writing much later today because I had a polo match this weekend (last night and this morning) and that just... I don't know. It was our first game of the season. I feel pretty good, and I was feeling that way when I got back from the stable. Can't say I was motivated to write, but when am I ever? :P

This chapter also felt a little better to me! Like, obviously it's first draft-y just cause I'm completely rewriting, but it's not just dialogue and "character a looked at character b" which was all chapter two was (and koshar hissing). I think I did a little better at description too so??? I don't know, not feeling as garbage about it as yesterday.

It didn't really go how I had outlined, and there was a scene I wanted to include but didn't think I'd get to. As it turned out it was the perfect way to start the chapter! So, it worked out even better for me!

gideon is NOT as much of a goblin as I wanted him to be but oh well


Favourite Scene:
“Let’s get the saddlebags on and get out of here,” Gideon said. He approached Carter and offered him a hand.

Carter stared at Gideon's hand for a moment, stomach flipping and revolting enough to make him dizzy. He was afraid if he moved, he’d be sick. Against his better judgement, he peered past Gideon and looked at Bazzoli’s unmoving form.

“You—” He swallowed and shivered. “You killed my boss?!”

Gideon rolled his eyes and flicked his hand as if to remind him it was there. “I did not kill him. Get up, we have to go.”


can't say "favourite" really cause there's a few I like, but I'm not going to post them all. gideon's a drama boy.
I believe in a universe that doesn't care and people that do.

You and I, we are matter, and it matters.

they/them
  





User avatar
351 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 14090
Reviews: 351
Tue Nov 05, 2019 1:30 am
View Likes
mellifera says...



Day Four Progress


Daily Word Count: 2,240/1,667

Total NaNo Word Count: 8,493/50,000

Mood of the Chapter:
Spoiler! :
couldn't find a better one lmao
Image


Thoughts:

oof. Stylistically, the second half I think was much better than the rest (I think writing Starry Veins and actually Trying helped haha). It was a DRAG to get through the first 800 words but then I found my footing and managed to speed through the rest.

Went way off my outline again oop. Two lesbians appeared out of nowhere? There was a kinda dumb conversation Carter wildly misinterprets cause he's not really listening and thinks is about Achille and starts gushing about him but they think it's about Gideon and are getting The Wrong Idea. it was kinda goofy and idk if that will survive editing. the romance wasn't supposed to even be HINTED at yet but here we are. last draft I think I put it in too late, but this time, I did the opposite and it's wAY too soon. oops.


Favourite Line (well,,, sort of paragraph):

If Whisper or Shiloh were here, he would have been holding their hand. Neither of them ever complained about how gross his hands could get. The thought of trying to reach out to Gideon made his stomach spiral and twist and he clenched his jaw together to keep from shivering.
I believe in a universe that doesn't care and people that do.

You and I, we are matter, and it matters.

they/them
  





User avatar
351 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 14090
Reviews: 351
Wed Nov 06, 2019 4:30 am
View Likes
mellifera says...



Day Five Progress


Daily Word Count: 1,544/1,667

Total NaNo Word Count: 10,037/50,000

Meme of the Day:

beds are so warm and soft when the rest of the world is not
(cannot find original post oh well)

Thoughts:

I sprint through the first 1.3k and it's funny because it was the best I felt writing of every day so far and I? didn't write nearly as much as I had any other day? hm.
I believe in a universe that doesn't care and people that do.

You and I, we are matter, and it matters.

they/them
  





User avatar
351 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 14090
Reviews: 351
Wed Nov 06, 2019 11:46 pm
View Likes
mellifera says...



Day Six Progress


Daily Word Count: 2,532/1,667

Total NaNo Word Count: 12,569/50,000

Mood of the Chapter:

Spoiler! :
Image


Thoughts:

I had to write down my thoughts here before I've even finished writing but wow did Carter get Thirsty™ in this draft. what the heck. my fingers might as well be covered in grease they're slipping so much. what's happening to my boy.

I almost wrote "dark mark" in regards to Gideon's brand so... Gideon almost became a death eater for a second I guess. shot me with a dose of random au headcanons which is super off topic and unhelpful.

It went pretty slow today but I was feeling pretty good for it? Dragged at a few parts, not real happy about this action/chase scene, but otherwise? you know. I'm figuring it out. I'm getting there. HOWEVER I was only on CHAPTER THREE at 12k on my last draft so AT LEAST I AM CUTTING IT DOWN for now *cries

Scene Of The Day:

Carter did trip that time, his foot sliding sideways out from under him. He skidded on the dried, crunchy grass and reached an arm out to break the fall. His thigh began to sting, and his palm was smarting from where he’d caught himself.

They’d— they’d killed the guards. Just like that, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. They had killed them.


+My Favourite Description:

Spoiler! :
He made the mistake of not looking away from Gideon. He found himself at the receiving end of so bitter an expression he might as well have shoved a fistful of soured almonds into Gideon’s mouth.


don't know if you've had a bitter almond before but it's literally--LITERALLY--the worst thing in the world and I need to project that
I believe in a universe that doesn't care and people that do.

You and I, we are matter, and it matters.

they/them
  





User avatar
351 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 14090
Reviews: 351
Thu Nov 07, 2019 10:39 pm
View Likes
mellifera says...



Day Seven Progress


Daily Word Count: 2,097/1,667

Total NaNo Word Count: 14,666/50,000

Mood of the Chapter:

Spoiler! :
Image


Thoughts:

well heck. gideon's run off on me. I'm no longer controlling him any more. he's SUPPOSED to be a stinky goblin boy, but instead he is soft goblin boy who is finding an emotional connection with carter. on one hand, this makes it easier for the bit that they're separated, but on the other, it wasn't supposed to start this early!!! these boys are working against me!! they're ready for love and they aren't waiting for me to get there.

gideon: *gets traumatised* well, i guess this is how it is. you have to be tough enough to endure it. it's just life.
carter: *talks a little bit about his trauma and it being his fault*
gideon: >:( unacceptable

Favourite Scene:

“Um,” he said, finally, to fill the space with a noise other than a buzzing silence and the droning sounds of distant chatter and frogs chirping. “I mean, no. Not really. Um, he isn’t always… I— it was my bad anyway. I shouldn’t have forgotten.”

“I didn’t realise choosing to forget something was an option,” Gideon murmured. “I wish I had known that.”
I believe in a universe that doesn't care and people that do.

You and I, we are matter, and it matters.

they/them
  





User avatar
351 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 14090
Reviews: 351
Fri Nov 08, 2019 8:08 pm
View Likes
mellifera says...



Day Eight Progress


Daily Word Count: 2,088/1,667

Total NaNo Word Count: 16,754/50,000

Mood of the Chapter:

Spoiler! :
Image

I saved this meme for gideon on a whim but then I realised it actually happens in this chapter and it's conveniently perfect


Thoughts:

I forgot how much I hated writing the Crossroads ambush scene and how awkward and lowkey it felt. blegh. It was also supposed to be much shorter, but hopefully the part that was SUPPOSED to be chapter seven in my outline is easily condensed so I can squeeze it in. I'm worried I'm starting to loose the headway I was making in cutting words, but maybe it's too early to tell and I should stop worrying!

maybe I need to rework it altogether! god I hate action scenes.

I dropped a lot of little hints for things though, so that's cool!

Finn kinda threw off the plan by going off outline, as per usual, and decided to make himself as suspicious as possible, also as per usual. I love him, he's so knowingly stupid. I love writing him.

First and Last Line of Session:

Carter had never been able sleep through a storm, and always envied Shiloh’s snuffling across the room as thunder roared overhead.


Gideon had not caught up with them.
I believe in a universe that doesn't care and people that do.

You and I, we are matter, and it matters.

they/them
  





User avatar
351 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 14090
Reviews: 351
Sat Nov 09, 2019 7:30 pm
View Likes
mellifera says...



Day Nine Progress


Daily Word Count: 2,664/1,667

Total NaNo Word Count: 19,418/50,000

Mood of All the Chapters:

Spoiler! :
Image


Thoughts:

More hints have been dropped, Carter is Spooked and pretending like everything is Fine even though it definitely is not. Finished this chapter and went into the next. Was much happier writing these bits than I was writing that stUPID action sequence yesterday. yay for fun writing sessions!

also Gideon and Carter have escaped my control whoooOP. there they go I guess. funky lil boys. Carter misinterprets the situation again, as per usual, the dork. Finn kinda, came into the scene awkwardly but YOU KNOW.

also I'm writing this chapter the exact opposite of how I wrote it in my outline. close enough.

Favourite Scene:

Whisper’s hands only hesitated a moment. “How many people on this island believe magic is real?” they asked, voice low and barely audible. “Don’t worry about it. It’s under control.”

“It’s like you don’t even know me. I’m always worried,” Carter said, turning to glance over his shoulder with a small smile.
I believe in a universe that doesn't care and people that do.

You and I, we are matter, and it matters.

they/them
  








Resistance is futile.
— The Borg