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Young Writers Society


Creativity



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Fri Jan 13, 2012 12:07 am
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ShootingStars says...



The pen comes crashing down onto my paper in blasts and explosions of black ink. My hand guides the pen as words begin to flow smoothly together, forming sentences.
All thoughts that had been building inside my head are released in a frenzy, emerging with ease. My hand dances in time with the pen as they glide around the notebook page together.
Soon the entire paper is filled with dark flowing letters full of creativity, all telling their own stories at the same time. Then finally I carefully sketch out the last words in bold: The END
However, I know this is not quite the end; there is more work to be done and more books of thoughts waiting to be read. So go ahead, turn the page. Let sparks of inspiration transform into a wildfire, and let creativity take wing and soar.
Last edited by ShootingStars on Sat Jan 21, 2012 3:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are. Anything your heart desires will come to you. -Jiminy Cricket

Don't be afraid to jump, to leap, to fly too far and don't be scared to touch the stars!
  





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Fri Jan 20, 2012 3:06 pm
sargsauce says...



Not really a story. No plot or characterization or dialogue or motives. But, we'll discuss it as is.

You seem to be trying to cram two different attitudes into here. Explosive fury and elegance. "blasts and explosions" versus "flow smoothly together." "release in a frenzy" versus "dances in time."

Work on one image or feeling and stick with it. It's either a graceful dance or a violent hemorrhaging, but not both.

"dark flowing letters full of creativity" is rather heavy-handed and inadequate. You want us to believe whatever is being written is creative, but we won't believe it simply because you told us it was creative. Make us believe it. Show us.

I liked "sparks...transform into a wildfire."

I didn't like "take wing and soar" because of how cliche and trite it sounds. Do try to avoid cliches, because the very nature of them is that they're overused and unimaginative.

I also could have done without the "I am a writer." It's too self-promoting. Like you're attributing legendary status to yourself. Cool your jets. Especially since you preceded it in a way that caused us to not believe you (telling us you're creative instead of letting us see it...and the use of cliches).
  





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Sat Jan 21, 2012 3:02 am
ShootingStars says...



Thank you for the review! And yes I realize it's not technically a story, but I didn't really know where to put it. Any suggestions?
---Shooting Stars
When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are. Anything your heart desires will come to you. -Jiminy Cricket

Don't be afraid to jump, to leap, to fly too far and don't be scared to touch the stars!
  





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Wed Jan 25, 2012 8:55 pm
Dingobabee says...



Personally, I would havew put this under poetry. I also like the contradicting lines because creativity does come in bursts and flows delicately. :D
The Writers could rule the world. Simply because we have thought of the various ways to do it.
  





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Thu Jan 26, 2012 1:50 am
ShootingStars says...



Is there a way to move it to poetry? Erg, I'm sort of new.
---Shooting Stars
When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are. Anything your heart desires will come to you. -Jiminy Cricket

Don't be afraid to jump, to leap, to fly too far and don't be scared to touch the stars!
  





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Thu Jan 26, 2012 11:37 am
Dingobabee says...



I'm new too, but I think you could copy and paste it onto a new post in poetry and then just delete this one.
The Writers could rule the world. Simply because we have thought of the various ways to do it.
  





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Thu Jan 26, 2012 2:43 pm
sargsauce says...



No, no. Don't do that. You can't delete a post after someone else has commented on it for reasons of decency and trackability.

Just ask someone with a differently colored name, such as myself, and we'll move it. Do you truly want to move it to poetry? Send me a private message (click my user name and click "Send Private Message") and let me know which Poetry forum exactly you want it in.

-Sarg
  





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Fri Jan 27, 2012 12:24 am
ShootingStars says...



It's okay; it's not that big of a deal. :D
Thank you so much!
---Shooting Stars
When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are. Anything your heart desires will come to you. -Jiminy Cricket

Don't be afraid to jump, to leap, to fly too far and don't be scared to touch the stars!
  





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Fri Jan 27, 2012 2:00 am
Dragonette says...



LoooOooOve it :smt003 I especially like the dancing part and the ending paragraph (which, btw, was a superb way to end it!). Although I couldn't relate to the whole "emerging with ease" line, I'm always SO bad at actually getting things out of my head and getting them to make sense on paper XD.
And when you said "in blasts and explosions of black ink" I got a picture of ink in messy blots on the paper, which I don't think was the image you were trying to describe.
But, like I said, it was good!
God bless and keep writing :D
~Dragonette
I'm a JESUS FREAK! (but you can call me a 'Jeek' if you want :D

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You aren't an official writer unless you're at least slightly mad.
  








I just write poetry to throw my mean callous heartless exterior into sharp relief. I’m going to throw you off the ship anyway.
— Vogon Captain (The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy)