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Totally Random Pink Fluffy Bunnies



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Mon Jan 09, 2012 2:37 am
CelticaNoir says...



Once upon a time there was a bunny.

"Hold it!"

Okay. I was wrong. Once upon a time...

Once upon a time, there was an army of bunnies. They weren't your regular carrot-gnawing furry little critters. They had pink fur, these big, big blue eyes that could turn anybody who looked at them into obliterated mush, and their main weapon...were machine guns.

"Right, front and centre!" The general of the bunny army looked the cutest of them all. He was the smallest, aye, and the sweetest shade of pink there ever was. But he hated his pink color, see. He painted himself all sorts of colors; red, blue, violet, green, purple and even black. But the dye would wash out after a while, and he would be pinker and fresher than ever. This, of course, caused a lot of confusion in the ranks, but no one complained. He was, after all, the general. "I want each and every able-bodied bunny here to take good care of every word I'm saying!" he squeaked, sounding more and more like a pincushion letting out air with every word he said. "Because they're my words, and my words--"

A couple of shots rang out in the ranks, cutting across his pompous introduction. He wrinkled his soft nose and stepped down from the platform. "What sort of nonsense is going on here?!" His squeaking now went up to a level that would've been intolerable to any human ears. "I swear, when I get my hands on the culprit who dared interrupt my speech--"

BAM. The general keeled over, a big red splotch staining his pale pink underbelly. "General!" The soldiers gathered around him in shock, and someone brought a stretcher and carried him away. The soldiers stared at each other and shrugged. It wasn't as if they needed the General to beat those humans.

Or did they?

***
It didn't take long for the news to reach all corners of Bunnyland. Of course, the bunnies each had their own individual opinion. This, from a regular pedestrian bunny: "I believe the General was a brilliant bunny. It was only because of him that Bunnyland has survived so long. Death to the humans!" Doing so, he leapt through a broken fence into a human farm, no doubt determined to help Bunnyland in his own way. It is a miracle such patriots to our land still exist!

However, on the other side of the spectrum, we have this from a geriatric bunny, living out its last days entrapped in a cage contrived by those despicable humans. "Oh...you know," he mumbles, gnawing at something the humans have left for him in a tray. "I don't really think the humans are that bad, ya know? I think they're fine creatures, in their own way, dontcha think?" Ah, such a miserable life to lead! This poor bunny, sequestered and trained all his life to be a pet, an animal of no value except to be stared at by those disgusting humans...debauchery!

Even as we speak, however, the humans had a far more dastardly plan in mind. It wasn't long after the General went down, poor soul, that the bunnies had something far more evil to contend with--a disease, spread by the humans. As far as the eye could see, we bunnies began to lose our precious pink fur; indeed, even I am nearly completely bald myself as of now. It was and still is--a horrible thing to contend with. We bunnies lost our pride; one by one, we laid down our machine guns, having already lost to the despicable humans.

But dare I take some amount of joy in the fact that even in surrender, we have come up with the most brilliant of plans?

"Now, listen here," the general speaks from his bed, still coughing up blood. Such a brave, brave bunny. "There's no such phrase called 'giving up' in my dictionary. Even if we're going to surrender to the humans, we're gonna do it in style, you hear?" He coughed up more blood. "And you're gonna listen to me, because I'm the general. You guys know that, right?"

This time, no shots were fired; we perked up our ears, and listened; and listened. We listened till the plan properly registered in our heads, and we liked what we heard. It was the perfect, perfect plan.

When the time came for the humans to demand our complete loyalty to them, our ambassador proposed a deal between us and the humans. Secretly, we chortled to ourselves, for they understood little of this 'deal'. You see, at the very end, we bunnies had the last laugh.

Oh, you didn't get it yet, silly human? We are still alive, in your own very head, and we will be there for eternity. Take away our prestige and freedom, will you? Then we shall plague you forever, and ever, and ever, because we're plot bunnies, and you can never defeat us, ever!
Last edited by CelticaNoir on Wed Jan 18, 2012 2:43 am, edited 1 time in total.
I am the workingman, the inventor, the maker of the world's food and clothes.
I am the audience that witnesses history.
- Carl Sandburg, I am the People, the Mob
  





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Thu Jan 12, 2012 7:38 pm
Niebla says...



Hey Celtica,

Well - I have to admit that this was not what I expected at all! Considering what the title of this piece was, I'm really not sure what I actually did expect when I clicked on it. But it sounded ... different, so I thought I'd check it out.

My overall thoughts on this piece were that I love your take on it! :wink: Quite a bit of the way through, I wasn't really sure whether I'd call this "a short story," exactly - or even fiction - so much of it just seems too true. :P Still, I like the news-report style some of this is written in and the fact that the narrator seems to be one of these plot bunnies. In other words, this piece definitely surprised me.

I actually really, really liked most of this - it was certainly quite amusing to read! I don't really have many nitpicks, but I'll give you some of the ones I can think of.

Muahahahahaha!


I have to admit that I'm not entirely sure about the very ending. While I can definitely see your reasoning in ending the piece like this, at the same time, it seems to ruin the tone the narration has kept up throughout the entire story in just one line. In my mind, it just didn't read quite right. It's not terrible as an end, but I think that you could probably think up a better one.

"I want each and every able-bodied bunny here to take good care of every word I'm saying!" he squeaked, sounding more and more like a pincushion letting out air with every word he said. "Because they're my words, and my words--"


I was going to nitpick on this, too, and say that I'm not entirely sure that bunnies "squeak" the way you're describing it, but at the same time, I realise that they're not completely ordinary bunnies. So in this case, it might be alright for them to squeak like deflating pincushions. It's your call. :smt002

Overall ... this was pretty interesting and amusing to read! Not your typical "short story", but definitely a fun take on something that nearly all writers here on YWS must know about. I love the quite opinionated views of the narrator bunny ...

However, on the other side of the spectrum, we have this from a geriatric bunny, living out its last days entrapped in a cage contrived by those despicable humans. "Oh...you know," he mumbles, gnawing at something the humans have left for him in a tray. "I don't really think the humans are that bad, ya know? I think they're fine creatures, in their own way, dontcha think?" Ah, such a miserable life to lead! This poor bunny, sequestered and trained all his life to be a pet, an animal of no value except to be stared at by those disgusting humans...debauchery!


I loved this paragraph!

Anyway, I never expected to read anything like this but I'm glad that I did. It gives me a whole new viewpoint on plot bunnies. :smt002

Keep writing,

~MorningMist~
  








You have to write the book that wants to be written. And if the book will be too difficult for grown-ups, then you write it for children.
— Madeleine L'Engle, Author