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July 2021: Before The Dragon



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Sun Jun 20, 2021 3:30 am
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Shady says...



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Seventeen-year-old Jerica Ainsley is both King's Assassin and General of the Archers. When a battle with an enemy army leaves her captured, Jerica is forced to face the fearsome Dragon of Nykeria. Then stuff happens, which I won't spoil in case one of my lovely reviewers stumbles on this thread.

The Goal

- Outline all the chapters I have completed so far!
- Get a general gist of revisions

I'm about forty chapters in so far and have outlined the first six. That leaves me with ~1 per day, which I think is realistic. And, doing those first six, I already found scenes that need cut and ways that things should be shuffled around, so hopefully, that'll continue with my other outlines. The ultimate goal is to get a better idea of how to revise it into a solid draft 4 that I can get out to beta readers. The revisions themselves will come later. Camp NaNo goal is simply to get an outline that I can use~

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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Mon Jun 21, 2021 1:17 pm
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Carlito says...



Okay I remember reading some of this during an LMS once I think?? I love that you're still working on it!! Great goal for Camp to not focus on rewriting or much writing at all but to figure out okay so what am i doing with this?? because it's so easy to rush revisions!
I hope you develop a clear vision of what you want to do and what the story needs 💜💜
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

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Mon Jun 21, 2021 4:54 pm
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Shady says...



Thanks @Carlito! <3 It's definitely been a long haul with this project >.> But I appreciate the support! ^-^

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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Mon Jun 21, 2021 5:35 pm
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Shady says...



Prompt 1: World-building


What world do your characters live in? A fantasy world? A sci-fi world? The real world? If in the real world - what place? What makes the world your characters live in unique? Describe in your thread what your world looks like.


My characters live in the fictional world of Beirania. It's a fantasy world complete with magic and mythical creatures that I made up. I struggle with world-building so it's a work in progress, but there are two unique points that I think are fairly creative. I'm going to enspoiler them since they're a little bit spoiler-y

Magic
Spoiler! :
There are two main forms of magic in my world. One is sorcery, where sorcerers use spells to summon evil spirits to do their bidding. The stronger the spirit, the more powerful the magic. However, if they summon a spirit that is too strong, they won't be able to control it. In that case, the spirit will kill the sorcerer and take control of their body -- and become As'veri. As'veri are quite literally evil incarnate and are super dangerous and difficult to kill. Thankfully, they're really rare -- but everyone is terrified by the prospect of crossing paths with an As'veri.

The second is called the R'hyk, which is manipulating the natural energy of things. Molecules are constantly vibrating against each other in all objects, so the R'hyk lets you tap into that vibration and make things move how you want them to move. This is a secret form of magic very few people know exists.


Realm (this is the biggest spoiler -- don't read if you're reviewing for me)
Spoiler! :
Beirania is only one of the realms that exist in my universe -- but that is an even bigger secret than the R'hyk. The different realms are all inter-connected via portals and are alternate worlds that it's possible to travel between.

The other main realm that's relevant is Lirtira. They're both medieval-esque fantasy realms, but are relevant in different ways. Book one is based entirely in Beirania, although Jerica learns about Lirtira.

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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Mon Jun 21, 2021 5:38 pm
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Shady says...



Prompt 2: The Beginning


Have a think about your opening scene. Write about what plot points will be hit and what information will be shared in your first scene, or first scene that you consider to be important.


Since this is a revision NaNo, I already have the opening scene written! The novel opens in the middle of a battle where Jerica is fighting fiercely. The enemy tries to breach their gate so she has to go and show off her fancy archery skills. And then the enemy brings out a sorcerer named Valeren who becomes an imminent threat that Jerica needs to neutralize.

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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Thu Jul 01, 2021 7:05 am
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Omni says...



Revision Camp Nano! I think it's awesome that you're getting down to the revision nitty gritty. Hopefully I can assist in some way or another with my reviews, and I'm excited to see where this novel goes! You have great characters and I'm sure a strong plot, although I haven't read that part yet haha

Yooou got this!
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Thu Jul 01, 2021 5:08 pm
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Shady says...



Thank you @Vincian! I appreciate the hype <3

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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Fri Jul 02, 2021 2:29 pm
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Riverlight says...



There are spoilers... and I wanna click on the spoilers... I won't but I really want to but then I know I won't be happy with myself... asdfghjkl;'

I CAN'T WAIT TO REVIEW ALL 100 CHAPTERS! :D no idea if that is an exaggerated number or not XD

<3s to you and Jerica uwu
The politics of the world may be corrupt, but that does not mean that we must be corrupted ourselves.
  





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Fri Jul 02, 2021 2:36 pm
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Shady says...



DON'T CLICK THE SPOILERS!!!

Actually, the magic spoiler you've already read through so you could click that one. But you're going to ruin the biggest twist in the novel if you click on the Realm one. So. Don't do that lol

<3 to you too @TheScribe

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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Fri Jul 02, 2021 2:40 pm
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Shady says...



Also! I forgot to update yesterday. It looks like I'm going to epically fail at the goal of outlining-instead-of-revising because I couldn't resist doing some serious revisions yesterday as I read. So...... I don't know what my goal is at this point. I just want to make some progress on my novel. And I'm going to count it as a success as long as I revise and/or outline.

Steps I'm Taking For Revisions
  • Read and revise
  • Incorporate feedback from reviews
  • Put it through Hemingway App and revise

Day 1
  • Revised Chapter 1.1 (all three steps)
  • Removed introducing Akeno
  • Cut the character Teryn entirely
  • Down 376 words! ^-^
  • Final count for this chapter part is 2,135 words

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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Sat Jul 03, 2021 2:27 am
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Shady says...



cries in still not outlining

Day 2
  • Wrote Chapter 44.1
  • Wrote Chapter 44.2
  • Cut 11,428 words from "scenes to come" (I'm so anguished rn)

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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Sun Jul 04, 2021 1:31 am
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Shady says...



Okay, so, I've been toying with the idea of making a female friend for Jerica to have at the palace because I realized the current story is severely male-biased. And I need to make a character profile for the RPMo checklist challenge. So here we are. I'm gonna try for a fairly detailed one.

Aashi Moryz

Age: 25
Gender/Pronouns: Female (she/her)
Appearance
  • Height: 5'5"
  • Build: Average
  • Skin color: Sepia
  • Eye color: Blue
  • How they dress: In dresses and robes, neat and feminine
Image

Background: A'shyii is the daughter of a merchant who frequently travels to all the countries in the realm. She grew up on his ship interacting with various people that she interacted with in each country and picking up pieces of their language.

Current location: Atraya
Nationality: Nykeria
Education: Classically trained in languages
Occupation: Language tutor for Ainsley children

Personality: A'shyii is an outgoing, animated, extrovert. She's a very kind and patient teacher but won't put up with any of Jerica's nonsense. She's very talkative and sometimes doesn't do a great job of reading the room, which leads to her talking when she probably shouldn't.

Motivation: She simply wants to be safe, warm, and fed.
Strengths: Language, teaching, patience, kindness
Weaknesses: Reading social cues
Main relationships: Tutor for all the Ainsley children; Jerica's friend
Secret: She's Nykerian by birth, but claims Lutalya.

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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Sun Jul 04, 2021 3:27 am
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Shady says...



Actually a fairly good day of NaNo-ing!

Day 3
  • Re-wrote chapter 45.1
  • Re-wrote chapter 45.2
  • Re-wrote chapter 45.3
  • Outlined 1.2
  • Revised 1.2 (revise + Hemingway, not reviews)
  • Created Aashi's character
  • Went on "just" hunt - started with 462 in manuscript, ended with 362 -- more need pruning, I'm just bored

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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Sun Jul 04, 2021 2:29 pm
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Carlito says...



Lol the "just" hunt.
"Just" and "that" and "got" always get me!

But yay revision progress!! (Even with the sad 11k cut) 💜💜
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

Ask a Therapist!
I want to beta read your novel!

Ask me anything. Talk to me about anything. Seriously. My PM box is always open <3
  





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Points: 2806
Reviews: 935
Sun Jul 04, 2021 2:35 pm
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Shady says...



Aha @Carlito I had no idea I used just as many times as I did until the Hemingway app was like "Be bold. Don't hedge." and I was like hecc guess I should go look and then saw how many I had overall lol

But "that" and "got" are other good ones. I'll add them to the mental list. I think "had" is going to be hunted as well haha

Thanks for the comment! <3

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  








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