Young Writers Society

Megara was not crying. Rory...she was a long time ago. Megara was supposed to have forgotten her. She thought she had.

"Rory was...She's gone now. It doesn't matter. I was young, and stupid, and I did some things I shouldn't have. I should have let things stay simple and I didn't. So I...I had to kill her." She knew it sounded like she'd decided to kill Rory because they'd become close, but she didn't correct her implications. If Runi would stay away because of some false assumptions, then it was better for her to do so.

Runi gave her a long, hard look.

"Do you have to kill me, then?" she softly asked. "Because I...I...Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, but we kissed the last time we met. I liked it. And I like to think that you liked it, too..."

She let out a sigh, rubbing the back of her neck.

"The two times that we met, there was something that had to do with romance involved. First it was a kiss, now it's..." She gestured at the cabin around them. "...this."

She took a deep breath.

"And if you like me like I think you do-" Like she hoped she did. "-then you would have had to kill me by now, too."

Those words stung. Megara fidgeted. It was wrong, all of this. Her body felt wrong, this place was wrong, she couldn't think...

She closed her eyes, unaware of the tear the slipped out as she did. She shouldn't correct her. She should let Runi believe whatever would keep her away and unhurt by...every aspect of Megara and her life. Because Megara was painful. Her life was painful. She lied and she manipulated her way into and out of harm's way and she cheated to win at every game she played, often with people's lives on the line. Runi would hate her to discover how little Megara cared about most of those lives.

Still, she found herself saying, "I...I didn't kill her because I loved her. I had to kill her because she was a distraction. My...former employer didn't want me to be distracted. She was dead either way, I..." she trailed off. The tears were streaming down her face now, and she sank to her knees.

I killed her. I killed her. I killed her.

Over and over, the mantra she'd promised herself she'd forget.

Her eyes widened.

She dropped down to her knees, too, and quickly pulled Megara into an embrace. She wasn't sure if getting hugged by the one she had killed really helped, but Runi had to try to make things better. She had to try to comfort Megara, even if the comfort was bittersweet.

She didn't say anything. She didn't know what she could say. She just sat there on her knees, hugging Megara as she cried.

Megara leaned into her. Even in Rory's body, the embrace didn't feel like her. Rory was never a hugger and, when they were together, neither was Megara. It worked like that. Now, though, she found herself leaning in, wrapping her arms around Runi to pull her closer.

"I killed her because I was told to," she said once the tears had slowed and the waves of pure, horrible emotion had turned to exhausted numbness, "I killed her. I killed her." Her eyes were closed. She couldn't feel much of anything anymore, everything had drained with her tears.

"But you didn't want to kill her," Runi whispered. "That has to count for something, doesn't it?"

She shook her head, staring into space. It was too exhausting to focus on anything. It was too exhausting...

With an effort, she managed the words, "No...She's dead, I killed her. I...I put my blade through her neck and watched her drown. I didn't even...I didn't cry... I didn't feel...I..." she shook her head.

She vaguely registered that she shouldn't be saying any of this. She shouldn't be telling Runi all of this.

A thought struck her. A rogue thought, broken free from whatever prison she'd sent it to before she knew it was there. A painfully true thought.

I don't want Runi to leave.

After that broke free, so much more followed.

Her gaze softened even more.

She pulled Megara tighter, no longer caring about how odd it must have felt for her to be hugged by the girl she had killed - Runi just wanted to make Megara feel better. She didn't want her to feel so sad. Maybe that was selfish. Maybe that was kind. Runi didn't really know.

But Megara didn't deserve to beat herself up by that.

"We all have different ways of dealing with grief," she said. "And I...I don't think you could have handled what you went through if you let yourself feels yours. But you feel it now, and that's what matters. It would be bad if we weren't having this conversation right now - having it shows that her life and her death meant something to you."

Megara pulled away. Got to her feet.

She couldn't just keep talking. She had to stop. Runi didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve Megara. She deserved so, so much better than a clusterfuck of problems and issues and...whatever else Megara had about her that would ruin Runi's life, health, and happiness. Or just end all three.

If Megara lost, if she was found by her father's people and brought back to him, Runi could be found too. She couldn't do that again. No, that was wrong, she could do that again. That was what scared her.

She shook her head, not sure what, exactly, she was protesting, and turned to walk...somewhere. Somewhere else.

She wasn't sure where Megara was going - or if she would even want her to tag along - but Runi still got to her feet and rushed to Megara's side. She could tell that Megara was grieving, and that she was probably thinking about things that Runi couldn't even begin to guess about.

But Runi knew what it was like to grieve, and she knew being alone never truly helped.

Megara found herself outside. There were willow trees. She walked up to one, the hanging vines brushing past her like a curtain as she approached the trunk.

She had always thought she could handle this kind of thing. She could handle death. She, the lifelong assassin, could handle death. Then why did it hurt like this?

She closed her eyes, her back sliding down the trunk of the tree so she could sit at its base. She was vaguely aware of Runi nearby, but she didn't know what to say to her.

She'd made such a mess. A mess of blood and tears and pain of all different kinds.

"I'm not a linguist," she said, not opening her eyes. If she didn't open her eyes, if she didn't see her, she could really be saying this to Runi. "I hurt people. I kill people. It used to be my job, but now I just...do it. Yes, I study languages on the side, but that;s not what I do. I'm an assassin. I was raised...I've always been one." She took a deep, shaky breath. "That's why...that's why I need you to stay away."

She took a deep breath and quietly let it back out again.

No wonder Megara had been so eager to leave.

It made sense, when she thought about what she knew about Megara. She had always seemed closed off, and the little comments she made the last time they met all fit together nicely if Runi thought of her as an assassin. An assassin would be better with social situations than she was; it had to be part of the job description.

But she couldn't judge, given who her best friend was.

"I guess I should tell a little secret of my own," she admitted. "Well, it's not really my secret, but it's mine by association. By, er, friendship. Do you remember me mentioning my best friend?"

She assumed Megara did.

"He's...well..." She took a deep breath. "When I first met him, I knew he was a demon. He didn't. Not really, anyways. And he didn't know he was the kid of the guy ruling Hell - I'm not sure if you've heard of Hell before, but it's a place where all of the bad souls go. For us demons, Hell is like our kingdom. I never was really there, but it's still...important."

She rubbed back of her neck.

"He's changed a lot since we first met," she said. "He used to be quiet, and shy, and so polite. He's still pretty polite, and can be really quiet sometimes, but he's had a, er, boost of confidence? I guess that's the side effect of killing your dad and ruling Hell."

She faltered, then took another deep breath.

"LongstoryshortmybestfriendrulesHellandatleasttwootherworldsandlowkeyisadictator
butwedon'treallytalkaboutthatpartorallofthegenocidehe'sprobablycommitted
butI'vebeentooscaredtoaskabout."

Megara opened her eyes. "...You're friends with a dictator? A genocidal dictator? You?!" Runi seemed like the type to have a lot of different kinds of friends, but that wasn't on the list.

Some irrational part of her was jealous. Whoever this best friend was, he knew Runi better than Megara did, and he probably had a higher kill count.

That last part was really irrational. Still, it was there.

She gave an awkward, hesitant smile.

"He's really nice once you get to know him?" she nervously replied, glancing away so she didn't have to see the look on Megara's face. She knew it was bad, but he was her best friend. And it wasn't like he hurt people because of who they were - he just did it when they opposed them. Which was still, uh, not the best thing to do, but still. It was better than other reasons for dictatorship and possible/very likely genocide!

Megara couldn't help it, she laughed. Can't-breathe, tears-in-her-eyes laughed at that, and something else, probably. The situation? Something else, she didn't know. She decided she didn't care.

"I'm sure he is if you're friends with him," she managed between gasps for air as she tried to calm down a minute later. She only spoke again once she'd fully, or almost fully, stopped laughing, "You wouldn't be friends with someone who's all bad."