For the first moment after, well, everything, all that he did was stare. Stare at the conductor, who was still frustratingly wearing Lila's appearance like she was some cheap coat. The actual screams had gone away, but he could still hear Lilah's scream ringing in his ears.
The memory never did go away on its own.
And he stared at his own hands for a moment, too, trying to push away what it had been like to be Jack again and focus on being Tim instead. That was who he was now, anyways.
Earlier, Tim might have panicked. He had given away so many personal details about himself - details that revealed just how fragile his facade was. But dealing with Lilah's death for what felt like the first time again gave a startling amount of clarity to the situation. If anything, Tim just felt tired.
"Nice one," Tim said drily. "I already knew you were biased, but this takes the cake. I don't know about the others, but I didn't even remember my girlfriend died until I heard her scream. Why would I run towards someone I know is dead?"
...Lila hadn't been the only one screaming, he reminded himself. James had been, too. But it wasn't like he hadn't worried about James, even when he couldn't remember who James was. He had called out his name, hadn't he? And the only reason he hadn't tried finding him was because he had gotten the memory of Lilah.
He gave a small, tired smile. "You don't know how trauma works, do you?"
He wished James was here. James had been doing this part of everything longer than he had; he was good at sneaking around. And while a fourteen year old was easy to push around, an acrobat in his twenties certainly wasn't.
Before he could get an answer to that question - if there even was going to be one - Kirux suddenly shifted from near him. His hands were held loosely at his side, and the giant key was gone from his grasp.
Now he just looked...confused.
And sad.
His lips were shaking like he wanted to cry, but he hadn't yet. Tim moved ever so slightly to comfort him - understanding that losing memories again must have been mental torture - but stopped when he realized that Kirux seemed relatively okay.
He signed something.
When he caught Tim giving him a questioning look out of the corner of his eye, Kirux pulled out a notebook and wrote down what he had just signed.
"You're not a good guy," the notebook read. "You're just mean."
Kirux thought for a moment, signed something else, and went back to writing.
"You have to be careful," Kirux said, with the knowing sort of look a little kid gets on their face when they're imparting important pieces of wisdom. "If you keep being a bad guy, your heart is going to fall into darkness!"
...Tim didn't exactly get the meaning of that, but the support was appreciated.
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