Young Writers Society

Mortimer's Magical Grocery Store

Somehow, you've ended up here. Where is here, exactly? It looks like... a grocery store, except there are unicorn horn shavings in one aisle and you think you just saw a couple of elves walking past. And of course, there's the strange Willy Wonka-like man who just strode in front of you and a motley crowd and clapped his hands.

"Welcome, one and all, to Mortimer's Magical Grocery Store! I am Mortimer, and I hereby challenge each of you to... drumroll please... a Grocery! Store! Cooking! Coooompetitioooon!!" Mortimer points at you all excitedly and dances a little jig. "Find five or fewer ingredients to make a dish out of... and once you all finish and are judged, the ultimate winner will win the ultimate prize: returning home!" He gestures at a portal at the end of one of the checkout lanes. It's guarded by an orc and a fairy, who each look terrifying in their own way.

"You all have sixty minutes on the clock. So ready... get set... goooo!!" Mortimer grins maniacally at you all, then leans forward and lowers his voice. "Just a final tip-- do watch out for the carnivorous carrots." He steps back and smiles, then snaps his fingers. "Okay, toodles!" With that, Mortimer disappears in a cloud of cabbage-scented smoke.

OOC

Aapeli

Pel was... confused. He glanced at his pet frog, Rando, who seemed to give him a similarly bemused look. But the strange, overly enthusiastic guy had told them all to cook something, so he started running through the list of recipes he knew.

"Omelettes, waffles, spaghetti... Spaghetti? Maybe spaghetti. That uses less than five ingredients. Wait, water doesn't count, does it? Also does pasta sauce count as one ingredient, or multiple...?" Lost in thought, Pel didn't notice he'd started walking until he ran right into another person.

Iliya

Oh dear. I've got to get back to the Harbinger's Society as soon as possible... Liya adjusted the flowers behind her ear and glanced around the grocery store. Her eyes landed on the orc and fairy guarding the portal, and she smiled. Well, I've always been good at talking to people. Magical beings shouldn't be much different.

With confident strides, Liya walked over to the guards of the portal. "Hello there. How are you both?" The orc grunted and the fairy crossed their arms. Alright then. "So, how long have you been working for Mortimer?"

Susan

"I really shouldn't have taken that bet," said Susan, at the same time as two other voices from next to her. She turned to spot a short blonde haired girl and a...she couldn't possibly be human.

"Brother," supplied the short one, letting out a sigh.

"Sister," replied Susan without even thinking.

"Girlfriend," said the third one. How on Earth does one have a voice that soft and be that massive.

"Susan," said Susan as she shared a smile with the other two. "I guess we're in a pretty similar boat."

"Safiana, but call me Safi," said the blonde, nodding along as she smiled too. "We definitely are. Why do I always pick the worst things to bet on?"

"Preach sister," joined in the third. "And I'm Scillianna but no one calls me that, so go with Anna." Her smile was also far too soft to be on someone of that size.

"Wanna team up?" asked Susie, "three heads are better than one and I am not great at cooking."

"What if they object to us teaming up?" asked Safi, voice a little quiet.

Anna flexed her biceps. "These will handle that."

If Susan did have blood flowing through her body she would be a cherry tomato. She would look...exactly like Safi who was currently gaping like a goldfish would look like. Oh wait, her mouth was open too.

"I have no idea what possessed me to do that," said Anna, who had joined them in going red.

"Umm..rice or bread?" blurted out Safi out of absolutely nowhere.

"What?" asked Susan.

"Cooking, we're doing the challenge together right?" asked Safi, suddenly looking confused.

"Oh of course, I just forgot because..."Susan trailed off before finally adding. "...reasons."

"Wait those are easy, how about like we get flour and do some baking?" suggested Anna, joining in on the act.

"Puff pastry," chorused Safi and Susan at the same time.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" said Anna.

As they started running Susan yelled out the first few things that came to mind. "We can probably find pre made pastry, maybe like a meat of some kind, like onions or something and some spices for the last couple?"

"I see dragon meat, I vote we try that," said Safi, as they entered the meat aisle.

"I have zero idea how to cook that, but we'll go for it," said Susan.

"Maybe we'll pick up one of those spices they were advertising as functional in all situations too," suggested Anna, "It was powdered eidolon or something."

"Works for me," said Safi, "so that, dragon, onions, puff pastry, what's the last one?"

"CHEESE, can't believe I forgot that," said Susan.

"This is going to be a beautiful team up," said Safi, "you have very good taste."

"Agreed," said Anna as she grabbed a pack of dragon meat and the veered towards the vegetables.

Cooking? Oh dear.

She enjoyed cooking, but, well, five ingredients weren't many. Especially if spices counted in that! How were you supposed to make a meal without proper seasoning? She couldn't very well just make a chunk of chicken breast and call it a meal -- even though it'd be delicious chicken, if she did say so herself.

Aashi saw a nice-enough-looking woman talking to the guards, and decided that was the best route as well. Maybe she could sweet-talk her way into spices not counting against her five? She strode over with her usual bubbly persona.

"Hello!" Aashi grinned at all three of them -- the woman, the fairy, and the orc. "I'm Aashi. How do you do?" She offered a handshake to the orc, who just grunted and scowled at her. "Right. Well. How do you do?" She offered her hand to the woman instead.

Iliya

Iliya shook her hand and said, "Nice to meet you, Aashi! I'm Iliya, or Liya." She smiled. "I'm doing quite well, but I'd be doing a lot better if I could get back home soon. I've been trying to talk to these beings, but, well--"

The fairy blew a raspberry at Liya and crossed his arms. "Get to cooking, like Mortimer said!"

Liya shrugged. "As you can see, they don't seem very eager to talk to me, much less let me use the portal..."

“Well… that’s rather rude.” Aashi furrowed her brow, considering it for a moment. “Well… I suppose we don’t have much choice but to comply if we want to appease them… do you know how to cook, Liya?”

Iliya

"I can make tea, I suppose...?" Liya thought for a moment. "I've also made some muffins and such for the children in the Harbingers' Society. They use more than five ingredients, but perhaps I could make a sugar-less, butter-less version? That wouldn't taste very good though."

“That sounds dreadful,” Aashi said. “…no offense! I don’t mean it personally. Just like. In general. I’ve never heard of sugarless muffins winning any sort of competition ever. I’m thinking it may make sense to do like, a meat and a vegetable of some sort. A bit heartier than a dessert. And easier to make with fewer ingredients.” Aashi tapped her temple. “Gotta use your head. Especially since we — well I, anyway — don’t know who our judges are gonna be. One of these guards? Or some other type of mythical creature? I bet elves are picky. They seem like the type… oh well. At least they didn’t tell us we had to make a ton so it can’t be something huge like a dragon, right?” She laughed a little, nudging Liya playfully. “Right?”

Saturn popped into existence in a... strange indoor market. The lights were too bright to be real and buzzed ever so slightly. "Where-" He twisted around. "Where am I?"

With a small plop, Cyra materialized next to them. They stumbled forward, their dreadlocks swinging with the momentum. She caught herself before she fell. "What the-" They whipped around. "Saturn? Did the kind Prime Minister give us a carriage ride to Hell?"

Satun sighed. "I don't exactly remember us being attacked." He flinched as water suddenly sprouted from the wall, gently dousing the many plants. "And I thought Hell didn't have water."

Cyra cursed under their breath, shuffling away from the wall. "Mine does."

Iliya

Liya giggled. This person seemed fun; Liya found her talkativeness rather endearing. "I sincerely hope the judge isn't a dragon. But a meat and vegetable dish sounds good!" She grinned at Aashi. "Do you suppose we should use any magical ingredients? This grocery store looks pretty well-stocked with exotic foods... though perhaps we should avoid the carnivorous carrots." Iliya shuddered. "Those just sound horrifying."

Aashi glanced over at the wailing bin of carnivorous carrots nearby. When they noticed her looking, they took a pause in their lament to bare their stubby little teeth and hiss at her. She stared at them with this energy:



"...Good call," Aashi agreed with a shudder, glancing back at Liya. "I'm afraid I don't know how to use any magical ingredients, though... do you wanna team up and work together on this? I'm a pretty good cook with non-magical food, if I do say so myself!"

Thane took off in a bolt. She wasn't going to waste a second of her time. Did she have any idea what she was doing? Of course not. But she was going to do it anyway. She barely dodged running into several people as she ran down the aisles, looking for anything even remotely familiar to her. She hadn't been one for cooking, what with the whole trying not to starve thing. Her family generally didn't have the money to spare for all these spices and-- she paused. Squawking and the sound of something rattling came from around the bend, and she turned around the corner of an aisle to see an entire crate full of chickens. Around it were crates filled with other animals, all alive and struggling to get out. Despite how mildly morbid it was, she wasn't at all surprised. Several frogs ribbited and croaked. Just then, someone ran around the corner.

Sophie rounded the corner at a high-speed run, energy nearly overloading her brain. The Lady Cordelia Agatha Bazir the Fourth, high lost princess of the frogs, stayed calmly in Sophie's cupped hands despite how fast she was running. A huge grin was spread across Sophie's face, strands of choppy brown hair falling from her pony-tail into her face. But her smile dropped completely into a look of pure horror when she saw the cages of animals. Chickens, rabbits-- but her eyes widened at the final straw-- the croaking. With a desperate yell, she lunged forward without any consideration of how she was about to crash into the metal cage with a clang. Even after she hit it, all the pain seemed very small in comparison to the frogs trapped inside. The Lady let out a croak that seemed vaguely indignant and Sophie said, "I can't believe-- I-- what--" She was truly at a loss for words.

Then, her face morphed into unbelievable anger and she screamed as she stood up and started working on the lid that kept the cage closed. When she got it free, the frogs started pushing and shoving to get out, beginning to hop down the aisles madly in an escape for freedom. "Be FREEEEEE!!" Sophie screamed at the top of her lungs, holding the Lady Cordelia high above her head in her hand. "BE FREE IN THE NAME OF THE LADY CORDELIA AGATHA BAZIR THE FOURTH!"



After a few seconds of catching her breath from what a miraculous and amazing deed she'd just done, Sophie noticed a girl standing a few feet from her, watching with an expression that was somehow disappointed even though Sophie had no idea who she was. "Hey!" Sophie exclaimed, skipping over towards her. "What's your name?"

The figure watched her with a blank look of startled annoyance, then said quietly, "Thane."

"Thane!" Sophie repeated with a big smile. "I'm Sophie! And this--" she held the Lady Cordelia forth like presenting a long-lost treasure from a kingdom long destroyed-- "is the Lady Cordelia Agatha Bazir the Fourth, lost princess of the frogs! It is my mission to help her reunite with both her kingdom and her family, for she was lost a long time ago! I have pledged my loyalty to her!"

The girl, Thane, blinked a few times, before saying slowly, "Interesting."

Sophie grinned. This was the type of person she liked best. She loved to answer questions about the Lady Cordelia of course, and to defend her honor, but usually people just responded skeptically or meanly. Sophie wasn't particularly bothered by it, but she did like someone who just accepted her for what she said. "Thane," she repeated, then grinned. "I think I'm gonna like you."

Raina & Will

Raina was decidedly annoyed at Mortimer. He'd somehow teleported them all here, given them vague instructions for some kind of cooking competition (like, what??), and then conveniently just *poofed* away. Well, she'd show him not to mess around like that. It was rude to transport people without their consent, especially to such an unpleasantly crowded grocery store.

Raina narrowed her eyes and looked around, considering what she'd need to do to make Mortimer reappear (she planned on giving him a stern talking-to). Suddenly, however, she was distracted by a voice behind her.

"Ugh... where am I?" A boy with a mop of black hair used the corner of a stove to pull himself up.

"William? Oh, great. Just the person I needed." Raina rolled her eyes.

"R-raina? Do you know what's going on?"

"A crazy guy named Mortimer just challenged us to a cooking competition. The way home is through that portal." She pointed behind the orc and fairy, then grabbed Will's wrist and started dragging him along. "Well, if you're here, you might as well be helpful and throw some food around. If we make enough of a mess, Mortimer's sure to come back."

"What?" Will shook his head in confusion. "Hey, are you still mad at me for thinking that your dad killed my dad?"

"Yes. But that's beside the point. Right now we need to get out of here, so just do as I say." Raina shot him a glare, then looked around the aisle. "Come on, open these boxes of cereal and scatter them on the floor."

Will dutifully opened a box of Tragic-Os, then stood there, looking slightly ill. "Um. The store is kind of yelling at me, saying it'll curse me with puke-colored hair if I make a mess here..."

"That's nonsense," Raina scoffed, taking the box from Will and shaking out the cereal. "Now, let's-- oh." She stared at Will's hair, which was indeed turning a rather nasty shade of brownish-green.

"What?"

"N-nothing! C'mon, I think I hear some noise from that aisle." Raina hurried over to the next aisle, which was filled with hopping frogs. "Oh, good! It looks like someone else had the same idea to mess up the store." She glanced down the aisle at two figures talking. "Hello there!"