Young Writers Society

THE ULTIMATE GOOD PERSON RECIPE

Rated: Extremely Difficult
Yields: 1 person
Prep time: Months or years (depending on the quality of the ingredients)
Lasts for life.

Ingredients
2 cups enriched Benevolence
2½ tsp. Patience extract
1 cup Compassion
2 tbsp. Optimism zest
¾ cup Generosity
3 tsp. Honesty, melted
1 stick (¼ cup) Meekness, softened
½ cup Wisdom
1½ cups packed Selflessness
½ cup Trustworthiness
¼ cup Determination, toasted and chopped
¾ cup Loyalty
5 oz. Courage, drained and thawed

Steps

1) Set aside ½ cup Benevolence. Combine remaining Benevolence, Compassion, and Generosity in a large bowl. In an even larger bowl, cream Meekness and Selflessness. Gradually add the dry mixture. Dough may become stiff and difficult to stir. Using a wooden spoon, mix in Determination, Courage, Patience extract, and Optimism zest. Cover and refrigerate for a week.

2) Press evenly into a greased pan and dot with Honesty. Bake in 98.6-degree oven for several days, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool on rack.

3) Combine Wisdom and Trustworthiness in a non-reactive saucepan. Stir constantly on medium heat until the mixture comes to a boil. Let boil for several days. Then remove from heat and stir in Loyalty. The mixture will thicken as it cools.

4) Spread the cooled topping over the cooled Person. Dust with reserved ½ cup Benevolence.

Variations
Great Person: Add 1 cup Intelligence to dry ingredients, and increase amount of Courage to 2 cups.
Sweet Person: Add ½ cup honey, and increase Benevolence to 1¾ cups.
Good Friend: When boiling Wisdom and Trustworthiness, add Humor and Creativity to taste, and increase amount of Loyalty to 1 cup.
Best Friend: Stir generous ½ cup Common Interests into dry ingredients, and add ¼ cup Humor to boiled topping.

Nutritional value:
0 calories
59% smiles*
73% laughs*
*percent daily value. This is based off a 24-hr, moderately stressful day.

Reviews
Watson42: Worked excellent for me. I don’t know what you other people are doing wrong. Sherlock became jealous, started acting really sweet, and then gave up and murdered my Good Person.
SH: How dare you accuse me of acting sweet.
Watson42: I thought I changed my password…
Sméagol: We hates it. Tough and stringy.
Doctor9: Fantastic!
Doctor10: Molto bene!
Doctor11: This recipe is cool.

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The First Question: Chapter 3, Memories of a companion*
The fabled Doctor, a man said to have saved many worlds. An enigma carved by time. But who is he really? It has been said that the best way to know a man is through the company he keeps.

Former companion Clara Oswald said of her goodbye from the Doctor:
He was sad, crying. The last time I saw him cry was just before his last regeneration**. I asked him why I had to leave and he said that now the time lords had returned I couldn't travel with him anymore. Because he had to go to Gallifrey*** and if I went with him the time lords**** would wipe my memories of him. I told him to come back for me and he said he would. But I knew then that he was lying. I could see it in his eyes. And I knew that this would be the last time I see him.

But to those hopefuls who still want to travel with him don't worry. Not everyone gets left behind. Some choose to leave. Martha Jones said:
From the first time I saw him I loved him. He had just saved the hospital and everyone on it, brought us back to earth. And while we were on the moon he kissed me and that's when I knew. I traveled with him for so long. But the person before me, Rose Tyler, was the only human he had ever truly loved. And eventually I knew I had to leave. I saw him again, but I managed to get on with my life.

Even those who are left behind still manage to have a good life. His original companion, and his granddaughter, Susan Forman had this to say:
We left Gallifrey together. Ran away and hid on earth. Then we had to leave, but two of my teachers came with us. We saw so much. My final adventure was during a Dalek***** invasion of earth. I fell in love with one of the rebels, David. I wanted to stay with him, but I didn't want to leave my grandfather. So he made the choice for me. He locked me out of the TARDIS****** and left without me. I cried, but I was happy with David. And now I know his choice was for this best and thank him for it.

So in the end, whether you leave or are left behind, traveling with the Doctor makes you a better person. What does that say about him? Well some people would say it makes him a good man. But in his own words: Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many. I suppose it's up to you what you believe about him. Let me conclude by saying that the universe would be a much darker place without the Doctor.

* Person who travels, or has traveled with the Doctor.
** An ability that allows time lords to escape death by changing their face
*** The home planet of the Time Lords
**** A race of aliens, their predominant difference from humans is their two hearts and ability to regenerate.
***** A race of genetically engineered life forms whose sole wish is to exterminate all other beings
****** The vessel that allows travel through the Time Vortex

Fifteen year old Casey Malloy, a celebrated athlete at the Charles Page High School, woke up early this morning into a very dark world, until she threw off her covers and was looking down the hall, from the other end of her body. When she got to her feet to go to the bathroom, the lights went out once again.

'At first I just screamed,' Casey said, 'Because I was confused. When I walked, it hurt, and I couldn't see where I was going so I started running into things and tripping. When I tried to rub my eyes, there was nothing there.'

Yes, Casey was the victim of a Gnome attack. These little, feisty creatures usually spend their time in the gardens, chasing rabbits and squirrels around, uprooting plants and what not, but, if provoked, they will enter a human's house and wreak havoc. No one knows the amount of magic they have, and the full extent of damage they can do, but we now have one more thing to add to the list.

Casey's mother, Sandy, said, 'After I rushed to her room, thinking she was seriously hurt, I couldn't talk because of what I was seeing. Or not seeing, as it was in this case. My little girl was clawing at her own face, and where her eyes should have been, it was just flat, smooth skin.'

It now appears that the Gnome did some sort of bippity-boppity-boo dance, stole her eyes from her face, and stuck them to the bottom of her feet. Casey was rushed to the hospital after her mother called 911, but, though strange and uncomfortable, the young girl wasn't in any serious trouble. I also think the doctors had no idea of what to do.

A similar case to this happened a few years ago, across the world in Kiev Russia, where an older male of 38 reportedly captured a legendary Psotnik, the Russian equivalent of an Elf. Unsurprisingly angry, the small creature escaped from the fish tank, trashed the man's apartment, and then proceeded to assault him. Once the fighting was over and the Psotnik left the establishment, the man found that all of his facial features were scattered around the rest of his body. One eye was even attached to one of his unmentionables. The authorities and top surgeons put their heads together, but, due to lack of funding and experience, they simply could not help the man.

But you will be glad to know that Casey's outlook is quite bright. England's top reconstructive surgeon has agreed to take on the job, and will be attempting a series of surgeries which will ultimately restore the girl's body back to normal, though a few minor symptoms may remain.

But it raises a very important question: Why did the Gnome do such a thing? At first, Casey was unwilling to admit that she had done anything wrong, but after a lot of pressure from her parents, she finally broke down and said, 'I was walking through the potato patch, and I saw this funny looking man with a really long beard digging up a potato. I yelled at him and told him to leave our stuff alone, but he just stuck his tongue out at me. So I kicked him over the fence.'

With that bit of information come to light, we can see the Gnome's reasoning. And so, the next time you are walking through the Petunia patch and find yourself with a sudden urge to dropkick a Gnome, or any other magical creature like it, you may want to think twice before continuing.

The pink elephants ability to fly has been its greatest quality. Throughout the years, many creatures have attempted it, with few making any real progress. For instance, the Dodo birds blew themselves up in the attempt to strap jets to their wings to acquire more lift. And of course, we all know about the Eroirn cows, who achieved jumping over the moon, only to fall into a black hole, reappearing in space five hundred years in the past. That was a sad day.

Such creatures are of myth, and so we cannot take any real answers from that. The only creature, besides the birds that have succeeded in flying has been the pink elephant.

These animals are large, just like their gray ancestors, but they have one quality that their ancestors didn’t have. Their ears become like wings, creating a Dumbo affect, but that isn’t all they can do! Scientists over the years have created a special new substance, one that can do many things. One of the things this stuff can do is make objects fly, similar to pixie dust, but of course without the side effects, which include general silliness and the desire to challenge pirates.

This substance is called the Uriond Pastlir, and it was named after its creator, an alien from a sub-planet in the Andromeda galaxy. Such a substance was sold to earth for a great price, so great it was that the alien demanded in payment one hundred trillion dollars, and of course a coffee mug.

The American government has made a contract with this alien. He is to make this substance permanently on earth. With this substance in the American’s power, all may be lost. They will have the ability to make huge ships fly through the sky, lift entire skyscrapers and move them across the world, and worst of all, they can mount guns to those said pink elephants and cause massive destruction.

Side effects include: General rowdiness, the ability to fly, turning pink, getting big ears, having a nasty temper, as well as acquiring a sense of Lanritn that will help you throughout your travels.

This is timmyjake, reporting live at the Uriond Pastlir memorial museum. I hope to see you next time, but until then, have a wonderful day, and don’t think about the possibility of pink destroying elephants flying over your town!

___The state of scientific development has advanced greatly over the past few centuries, and it still continues to grow at an exponential rate, however many key scientists to the cause are often overlooked and lost within history.
___One particular man that falls under this category is George Henrich, and professor at a Scottish university in earlier centuries around the same time as Darwin himself was making his expeditions. Henrich may have gone unnoticed, but his contributions to modern scientific discovery still linger today.
___What Henrich was most renowned for was his discovery of a rare and now extinct breed relating to the Equus ferus caballus. It was a stout creature, and its bones were preserved and shipped back with Henrich to Scotland but were soon lost within the attics of his family fire.
___The creature, commonly known as the ‘eating pony’ by the indigenous people of its native island, was a form of small horse. It’s key difference to our usual species was its dental arrangement, as it has very peculiar sets of teeth, resembling those much like the common canine.
___The discovery of this creature as such, lead to forms of challenges and dispute across the scientific world. Firstly the animal was considered dangerous or unnatural, so several fleets of Scottish troops were commissioned to eradicate the species. This was not to Henrich’s agreement, and in the process of human fear, and their consolidation in deny the unexplainable, they wiped out the population of the ‘eating ponies’ far enough down to stunt their breeding and this gradually die out.
___Despite this tragedy Henrich continued the study the beasts until the end of his days, taking back with his the skull, and the mummified head of several of the animals. Unfortunately the great breakthrough of his research has gone significantly unrecognised, and this breakthrough discovery was lost in history.
___The fact of Henrichs discovery raises many questions for the modern man, such as why did this animal, of relation to herbivorous beasts, have the jaws built for hunting. Could the animal itself be responsible for the deaths of so many humans who mistook it for a common pony? These questions remain unanswered as they were sent to their graves by the kilt-wielding hooligans, forever to be forgotten.
___

The Sea Pegasus (Equus ferus aves ichthyoid) is an astounding creature. Unlike the Pegasus of the Greek myths, the Sea Pegasus can not only soar through the air, but can also skim over the surface of the sea, as well as completely submerge into the blue. This majestic creature has lungs as well as gills, making it possible to stay immersed underwater for long periods of time. However, just as amphibians must remain moist, the Sea Pegasus must take time to stretch out its wings and glide through the sky.

The wings of this creature are 7 feet each, and lined with feathers. The body of the bird is similar to a horse, but a major difference is that many bones are hollow, making the Pegasus much lighter and increasing its ability to fly. Scientists have yet to determine the origin of this creature, but assume that it is an unique breed of horse. However, others argue that it must be a bird-like creature because of its hollow bones. Another group suggests that it must be a fish, for it has gills. But the fourth group suggests that the Sea Pegasus is a type of dinosaur. They believe that since this beast can fly and swim, as well as traverse across the land, it must be some type of dinosaur since they have never seen such a creature.

Even as scientists struggle to grasp the concept of this unique species, the beast shows more and more about its habits everyday. This creature is an omnivore, feasting on plants and algae as well as birds and mice. The Pegasus has also showed signs of devouring larger mammals, such as the lion, which poses a huge question in science: Will the predator become the prey?

Contrary to being a powerful hunter, the Sea Pegasus also protects its young and nurtures them. Like dinosaurs, the Pegasus' take care of their own and would kill to keep one another safe. This factor also baffles science, as it seems as though one Pegasus can tell when another is in danger and faces a threat. Although we have never seen the species fight, we have determined their battle cry to be a loud, piercing call that sounds for miles, reverberating through the ears of all who hear. Their call is so shocking, it sometimes petrifies those who hear it temporarily.

The habitat of this creature has no set place. Although most are found in Iceland and Greenland, the Sea Pegasus has no set habitat. It travels frequently, making it harder to keep eyes on. This magnificent beast has so far shown little to no signs of sleeping, and scientists believe that they might hibernate, and conserve their energy.

Scientists continue to unravel the mystery of the Sea Pegasus and come across new discoveries everyday. For now, we wait and watch to see how the Pegasus reacts, and see what it will do next.