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Young Writers Society


Romeo and Juliet



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65 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 248
Reviews: 65
Mon Jan 16, 2012 2:44 am
dasiamari says...



Spoiler! :
Just imaging if they didn't die


Hold on I'm still coming
Don't forget I'm still in love and

I'm racing against time
Defying my father.
Just to take your hand.

You'll be my Romeo
I'll be your Juliet
We'll have happy ending
True love until the death.

Don't worry bout my father
or Montagues and Capulets.
Just know I love you always
and I'm still running yet.

I'll meet you in a forest
A sunset afternoon.
Be back before they notice
Or they'll be after you.

You'll be my Romeo
I'll be your Juliet
We'll have happy ending
True love until the death.

We're getting married soon
If we can get away.
I have fate and so do you
that you can save the day .

We'll have a summer wedding.
Don't tell anyone.
We'll run away together
'cause your the only one
I want to be with
forget that Paris
He isn't perfect.

You'll be my Romeo
I'll be your Juliet
We'll have happy ending
True love until the death.

The war still rages on
But we'll be happy here.
In our little place
Can here, that happy laughter
Of our new baby boy?
He'll have my hair
He'll have his fathers eyes.

You'll be my Romeo
I'll be your Juliet
We'll have happy ending
True love until the death.

Shakesphere got it wrong
My fathers got it twisted
Can't keep me away
From what I really wanted.

You'll be my super hero
I'll be your Lois lane
You'll come and rescue me
And we'll be happy in the end.
Last edited by dasiamari on Mon Jan 16, 2012 5:46 am, edited 5 times in total.
Know that she's back in the atmosphere I'm afraid that she'll think of me as a plain old Jain told a story 'bout a man who was to afraid to fly so he never did land. ~Train
  





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Gender: None specified
Points: 994
Reviews: 4
Mon Jan 16, 2012 3:11 am
Still says...



I really like this. I loved the opening and the idea of them living happily ever after. I loved the passion of the racing and the running and how they seemed so desperate to be together. Then it changes. Suddenly they aren't dreaming about it but living out what hasn't happened yet. Then out of nowhere superman and lois lane stop by. I enjoyed reading this. Keep writing. Hope this was helpful.
  





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16 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 678
Reviews: 16
Tue Jan 17, 2012 4:15 am
Nyl says...



It sounds more of like a Taylor Swift song to me. I love how you added the touch of literature there. It is indeed good. This part is what I like the most. It's image-rich and lovely ::::
"The war still rages on
But we'll be happy here.
In our little place
Can here, that happy laughter
Of our new baby boy?
He'll have my hair
He'll have his fathers eyes.:
"I'm writing the next big thing, aren't we all are?" Hei
  








Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
— Mark Twain