Young Writers Society

Round and round I’m bound. The sound, the fall, the revolving doors stall.
Dragons bloodthirsty, they hunt, no mercy, seduction,. Destruction, corruption.
We’ve lost, were lost, the cost the cost.
Won’t comprehend just what we lost.
They smote our ruin at the mountains feet defeat seeks the weak and the humble.
Just watch the fucker’s stumble.

The medics arrive, they look in dismay. The wounded aplenty they can’t even pray.
The wicked devouring the flesh of the victims.
The victims, the victims. There’s always the victims
Lalalalala, I don’t want to hear, go cover your ears. Make love to your fears.
The problems resolved? The defences are breached.
I better not preach hypocryptical speech.
It will be my defeat.

Consuming confusion has left me unstable. My soul is willing but my flesh is unable
Consuming confusion has left me unstable. My soul is willing but my flesh is unable


Hi, I recorded this song and it can be heard at www.myspace.com/xanderduffy

Any criticisms are welcomed

Wow the format of this is really interesting and exciting, mainly created by the short lines of rhyme!
I really loved it! I have absolutely no criticisms, I especially liked this part

Make love to your fears.
The problems resolved? The defences are breached.
I better not preach hypocryptical speech.
It will be my defeat

and also the repetition of

Consuming confusion has left me unstable. My soul is willing but my flesh is unable

. You really have a way of putting words together that sounds awesome rhythmically. You're mp3 isn't really my style of music so I won't even comment, all I can say is when I read it I thought it was a lot faster and that perhaps the song would be better faster. Seeing you're myspace page and hearing you're mp3 I really think you are past the realms of yws, I'm not sure how much many of us can help you, but it was good to read some quality! -Rachel