Young Writers Society

A morbid scent that drifts through the air
Like an ominous reprise
The smell of burning skin,
Spreading through the dark grey skies

And inside her restless mind
She sees those warm, thick folds of skin
And she wishes they would stop
Enveloping her within

Unzip and strip of that worrisome skin,
marred with scars, worn with age, oh that bothersome twin
Just slice and tear ‘till your mind is free within
twisted thoughts, black desire, forever troubled by sin

But however much she bleeds
She just won’t fit inside her skin
Always a size small or large
Seems her mind can never win

And she feels as if she’s trapped
Inside her body as a joke
She can smell her burning skin
Feel the heat; inhale the smoke

Unzip and strip of that worrisome skin,
marred with scars, worn with age, oh that bothersome twin
Just slice and tear ‘till your mind is free within
twisted thoughts, black desire, forever troubled by sin

We’re all disfigured inside
Blackened hearts, twisted lungs, blood which flows through a junkyard of veins
And I think that you’ll find
That in a blind world where no-one can see it’s all just the same
Why can’t we see?
See the hate see the fear all behind that one insecure smile
Why can’t we just be?
Why this skin
We can’t win,
Can’t escape this bothersome twin

Unzip and strip of that worrisome skin,
marred with scars, worn with age, oh that bothersome twin
Just slice and tear ‘till your mind is free within
twisted thoughts, black desire, forever troubled by sin

Unzip and strip of that worrisome skin,
marred with scars, worn with age, oh that bothersome twin
Just slice and tear ‘till your mind is free within
twisted thoughts, black desire, forever troubled by skin.

What a nice song to read aloud in the morning, mist. (Pun not intended )

I like how you put coldness and frailty into the verses without taking out the pain in it. It wasn't much of a depressed song, actually, it is more of an honest truth of what is happening behind everything that we see.

Great work, future songwriter!

Love,
Al

This is kind of eerie in a way, almost chilling to read. Some of the lyrics are a bit morbid, but I actually enjoyed the song all the same. It's not exactly the typical thing you'd hear on the radio, but who needs cliches and annoying repetitive rhyme schemes anyway? Pop songs today honestly lack any sort of direction or emotion in them, where as at least this had some sort of feeling to it rather than the urge to get up and fist pump. Although slightly deranged at parts, I still liked it and think you should keep writing!

A morbid scent that drifts through the air
Like an ominous reprise
The smell of burning skin,
Spreading through the dark grey skies

First line, love it. The word "morbid" was a very good choice.
Second line, same as 1st.
Third line, really pulls me in. Burning skin makes the reader/listener chilled and wanting to keep going.
Fourth line, compelling. Love it.

And she feels as if she’s trapped
Inside her body as a joke
She can smell her burning skin
Feel the heat; inhale the smoke

Second line, confusing. The "as a joke" part doesn't make sense.
Third line, scary. Love it.

But however much she bleeds
She just won’t fit inside her skin

Second line, again, confusing. But in a good way this time.

Blackened hearts, twisted lungs, blood which flows through a junkyard of veins

Creepy awesome. The words blackened, twisted, and junkyard all contribute to a feeling of intensity.

Can’t escape this bothersome twin

This has confused me since the beginning. What twin?

Overall, it's dark and eerie. Amazingly worded and phrased. The only flaw is the confusion, because sometimes confusion can be a good thing and sometimes not. I would think a bit of explanatory lines at the end would enhance it so that I'm not left at the end thinking I didn't get anything out of it. ("I" being the collective I, meaning readers/listeners.)

Keep writing!
ℓσνє,
ѕнα∂σωℓιℓу

I actually thought this was pretty amazing!!
I don't exactly know what on earth you're talking about in the song. I mean it almost sounds like someone suffering from body dysmorphia or something similar. That's kind of what I got out of it, but I could be wrong. Even though I don't entirely understand what the song is about ..I still found it to be very amazing.

Good job!