Young Writers Society

Dedicated to my best friend, who inspired me with this line. (save the tears for when you know it’s true)
I'm not sure what this is about yet. It feels like one long metaphor, but ya know, it's a song. I'm proud of it. I THINK it's about someone who is crying because her heart is broken from something. Not a romance heart break, but something else...
If you like this, click this link and you can follow my music! isn't that awesome?


Verse 1:
These cold shards of glass,
they flicker in the light.
Shining with pain,
that doesn’t seem to be able to fight.

They’re filling up with ever more certainty,
careful to pierce my heart with ever more pain.


Chorus:
save the tears for when you know it’s true
save the tears for when the world crashes and burns.
But it’s hard. So hard.
Don’t let the world know your hurt,
but how could you not?
The world is slipping out of focus and suddenly,
suddenly now I know what it’s for.

Verse 2:
The blood, it intermingles with the salty brine.
The shards are digging, deeper and deeper,
They don’t stop from my shouts, they keep on slipping
Keeping their sharp edges against my skin...

CHORUS

Bridge:
Feel the heart.
See the blood.
Hear my screams
ringing in your ears.
It’s not fair.
It’s pain.
So much pain.

CHORUS

Ending:
save your tears till you know it’s true,
but I know.
It’s true.

Sparky! Here to review...
I don't have much to say, except I like it. I don't know much about songs, see. But I lIKE this song. A lot.

SparkOfDoubt wrote:Don’t let the world know your hurt,
but how could you not?

I think it should be you're. :3 I'm not sure. Ignore it if I'm wrong.
Keep writing~~
Angel

I really like this! I think it's really good, I'm not that great reviewing Lyrics but I'll try... :)

Your use of language is impressive, especially for lyrics, normally people stay away from proper vocabulary because they think it won't work, but in yours it really did, but you do need to be careful sometimes when writing full vocabulary, it will start sounding like a bit of a poem, and obviously that wasn't what you were going for... but a beautiful poem non the less :)
In the beginning, especially the first verse, I really enjoyed it. Your use of imagery is brilliant, but as we got through the verses you seemed to get darker. A lot of Blood and pain, which is good when you write or sing about it but I felt by the bridge it might have gotten a bit too much on the darker side. I mean, if that's exactly what you were going for great! but if you didn't mean for it to sound so dark, I'd maybe revise the use of some words! :)
The ending is brilliant, a simple heart stopping punch line. I love also that your lyrics aren't about a broken heart necessarily from a break up or love, because there are more important things than that, and you showed us that they could hurt the same, if not more.

Brilliant,
I loved it :)
Evenslily x