Young Writers Society

Nevermind . . .

I love this. It sounds like the kind of music I love listening to; sad but quite meaningful. I love some of your choices of words.

I would love to listen to the song. If you ever put it on youtube, send me a link!

It's difficult to find anything that I would change because it's hard to know how well it flows without actually listening to it, but it looks good on paper (or screen).

Dear agony, just let go of me
Suffer slowly, is this the way it's gotta be?
Don't bury me, faceless enemy
I'm so sorry, is this the way it's gotta be?
Dear agony, just let go of me
Suffer slowly, is this the way it's gotta be?
Don't bury me, faceless enemy
I'm so sorry, is this the way it's gotta be?
Dear agony

One suggestion I do have is to maybe change one of the parts I've highlighted in red in this verse. I like how you've used words other than "I'm so sorry" in some of the other lines and I think it would sound even better if you changed another one of those lines to something different to add interest.

Other than that, it sounds amazing and I would love to listen to the song.

Keep writing,

~MorningMist~

Thanks Morningmist! And I might do that, not sure what I would replace it with, though. That part is repeating the chorus twice though, so it's good when it's the same . . . I'll try to figure something out to fix it, though!

Have you ever heard of a little thing called plagiarism? Because that's what you've done here.

I am a huge fan of a band called Breaking Benjamin. They have a song entitled "Dear Agony." When I saw the title of this, I clicked on it because it had their title. I was very surprised when I read it and saw that you'd simply copied their work.

Just because you rearranged the lines and added a few of your own doesn't make this yours. I think it's absolutely awful that you'd copy somebody else's work and post it as your own. I detest it when people do this. Especially when they do it to one of my favorite bands. Take the time to write your own material. Don't copy what others have done.

OMK Sorry! My friend posted some of it and I thought he wrote it . . . deleting . . . .