Young Writers Society

You asked me out on a friday near a gator lake

I said yes and i made a mig mistake.


you met a dude that said he liked me by the door's...

You fighted with him about how i was yours...


I sat in the middle of both of you.

I really love ya but I loved him too


This does'nt mean I dont love this, Comin out of math class started a riot..
I didnt mean this in a bad way..

I need comfortt from a regular guy
not someone you would make someone else die

I need domeone to keep for myself.

i broke up with you a couple days later
Now your gunna ask me to the dance on my radar

And a Guy thats done is you...






Oh noooooooooooooooooooo
oh noooooooooooooooooooooooooo

oh noooooooooooooo
I just know..............


This does'nt mean I dont love this, Comin out of math class started a riot..
I didnt mean this in a bad way..

I need comfort from a regular guy
not someone you would make someone else die


This does'nt mean I dont love this, Comin out of math class started a riot..
I didnt mean this in a bad way..

I need comfort from a regular guy
not someone you would make someone else die

I need someone to keep for my self

that beautiful day it was sunny and gray
You sat on the floor.....

rain fell down an i started cryin out
and every day you gave me an exuse for no use
i needed you more than you needed me

A new better day you would ask me to play but no
Not today...

This does'nt mean I dont love this, Comin out of math class started a riot..
I didnt mean this in a bad way..

I need comfort from a regular guy
not someone you would make someone else die

I need someone to keep for my self

you met a dude that said he liked me by the door's...

You fighted with him about how i was yours...


I sat in the middle of both of you.

I really love ya but I loved him too

I know the love triangl-y feeling, like, legitimately, and I take it that you cheated or something, by the spoiler, And with music I'm sure it would be great, but I really hope for you that you aren't dwelling, because after something like that, you just have to move forward. Yes the past can hurt, it can hurt very very much, and very very Very VERy VERY VERY VERY EXTREMELY pain fully, but you just need to keep going. Be happy, and try to stay as positive as anyone you've ever met, because being positive is really important. Love the song.

you met a dude that said he liked me by the door's...You fighted with him about how i was yours...

fighted - changed to fought, perhaps?

I don't really have anything else for you, sorry :3 Not really good at lyrics

Anyways, I liked this piece because it relates to what I'm going through right now - me and every other girl, right? Hahaha. Anyways, good job

thx i've been really depressed lately

Hi Pix! Here to review

you met a dude that said he liked me by the door's...

This word doesn't make sense door's means it's before a possession. Like, Marco's food. the 's means that it belongs to someone. it would make more sense if you said doors, which, means more than one.

I said yes and I made a big mistake.

You fightedfought with him about how I was yours...

I need comfortno t here from a regular guy
not someone you would make someone else die

This also, doesn't fit. It'd be better just to delete the whole line.

I need someone to keep for myself.

I broke up with you a couple days later

This doesn't mean I don't love this,

You asked me out on a friday near a gator lake,

I said yes and i made a mig mistake.


you met a dude that said he liked me by the door's,

You fighted with him about how i was yours...


I sat in the middle of both of you.

I really love ya but I loved him too,


This does'nt mean I dont love this,
Hit Enter Here
Comin out of math class started a riot...
I didnt mean this in a bad way...

I need comfortt from a regular guy,
not someone you would make someone else die.

I need domeone to keep for myself.

i broke up with you a couple days later,
Now your gunna ask me to the dance on my radar.

And a Guy thats done is you...

Okay... My first thought is this isn't really a song. It's basically a bunch of words smushed together, with no rhyme or reason. It reminds me more of a poem than a song.

Also, please excuse me saying this, but this song is really, really cliche. It doesn't have structure, no chorus, no verses, no variety, no repeated lines anywhere. A good song has at least two verses, plus one or two chorus' And there should be a bridge. A bridge is like connecting a verse and a chorus. It really explains what the chorus is talking about, and sometimes there is more than one bridge. There can be lot's of bridges.Like this:

Verse 1:
I loooooveeeee you

Chorus:
I really love you

Verse 2:
You don't even seem to understand
How much I loooveee you

Chorus:
I really love you

Bridge:
Don't you care about me?

Chorus:
I really love you!


That's a really bad example, but it shows what I'm trying to say. Okay, moving on.

The proofreading, if there was any at all, doesn't seem to be done very well.
In the nitpicks above, I showed you were there where misspelled words, misplaced commas and apostrophes and I's not capitalized.
You have to proofread. Have to have to have too. Word or whatever Word-processer you use should catch all these things. So, next time Grammar check and Spelling Check is a MUST.

Next, I see that you may be a little confused on the three-period rule When saying something like "I'm so sad..." and you need those periods there for a pause, the rule is three. I don't know why, but that's the rule.

If anyone says fighted, that is NOT a word. The word is Fought. fought. There is no such word as fighted, and I'm a little surprised. You have to be older than 12 to join this site, and some english teacher should have told you, at some point that is not a word. Sorry, it's a little unbelievable to me.

Umm... I think that's all I thought of when I was running through this.
Sorry I picked you apart D: This has the potential to be good... <3
~Drama