Young Writers Society

I looked into your eyes and I realized
The are no words that’ll change your mind
A tear on your face has brought to mind
Like winds has swept me back in time

You now have another dream
That’s very different from my own
I’m no longer part of it
Although I thought I always was

Five years back, we’re both sixteen
The leaves are green, it’s early spring
We locked our lips, our very first
The spring has passed and all is lost

You now have another dream
That’s very different from my own
I’m no longer part of it
Although I thought I always was

Your eyes are telling me to leave
To walk away and let you sleep
The one you love is by your side
And I’m the past you left behind

You now have another dream
That’s very different from my own
I’m no longer part of it
Although I thought I always was

I really like this poem, i think it has an beautiful sound to it.
Your description is second to none

'I looked into your eyes and I realized
The are no words that’ll change your mind
A tear on your face has brought to mind
Like winds has swept me back in time'

I've highlighted this piece because i believe it was the best part of the whole poem
it created a vivid image in my mind and it really set the tone of the poem

I think one of the best features of this poem is your structure, Your stanza's are perfect which really highlight
the way you want the reader to interpret your poem.

However there is a downside which i believe can be adjusted to make this a better poem
i think you should work on your rhyming since it can a look a little dull if you the same word more then once or
one of your end words in the same stanza

All in all i think this is a great poem, really deep, powerful and personal

Keep it up

I've Just Posted a Poem, Hope U can give it a read and tell me what you think.

Haaaaai vett!! =) *huggles*
I was wandering around in the forums and saw your song and totally wanted to read it. Since you totally ditched that review about heamswqndpwend cells for this XD Okay so I'm not really good at writing reviews because I mostly babble too much or have nothing helpful to say...and that's pretty much what's happening now XD Because I loved it and I couldn't find anything wrong with this!! <3 So yeah..that was actually all I had to say OO
I especially liked the idea/ this part of your song:

You now have another dream
That’s very different from my own
I’m no longer part of it
Although I thought I always was

Very strong and absolutely loveable! If that's even a word XD

Okay so that was all XD loved it! Great work and keep writing!
-qaralynn-

*runs for like button*