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Young Writers Society


Opportunities (Let’s make lots of music)



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102 Reviews



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Points: 1260
Reviews: 102
Sat Oct 01, 2011 11:23 pm
LiesOnLies says...



Spoiler! :
I wanted to say this is a parody, but the song isn't really funny. It's more of a rewording of the original Pet Shop Boys song. Some of it is the same as the original.


I’ve got the words, you’ve got the hooks
Let’s make lots of music
You’ve got the tune, I’ve got the words
Let’s make lots of…

I’m stuck in endless rhyming
And words that have not a beat
My patience's running wild, man
I need measures on a sheet
I’m looking for a partner
Someone who does these bits
Ask yourself this question
Do you want to make hits?

I’ve got the words, you’ve got the hooks
Let’s make lots of music
You’ve got the tune, I’ve got the words
Let’s make lots of music

You can tell I’m dedicated
Jotting these words out so much
I’m supposed to be rich now
But sure fame I’ve never touched
I can jot down word creations
Deep within my mind
If you’ve got the right technique, man
Then I have got the rhyme

Oh there’s a lot of opportunities
If you know when to take them, you know?
There’s a lot of opportunities
If they’re aren’t, you make them
(go and make them)

I’ve got the words, you’ve got the hooks
Let’s make lots of music
Let’s make lots of…
(Music!)

You can see I’m music minded
I know what we could be
How do you like the words, man?
Please, write the melody
I’m looking for a tune here
One that’s cool and not pretensed
Just imagine it being hummed
You know it makes sense

Let’s (I’ve got the words)
Make (you’ve got the hooks)
Let’s make lots of music
(words) you’ve got the hooks
(tune) I’ve got the words
Let’s make lots of music

I’ve got the words, you’ve got the hooks
Let’s make lots of music
MUSIC!!
Last edited by LiesOnLies on Mon Oct 17, 2011 8:33 am, edited 1 time in total.
  





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Sun Oct 02, 2011 11:58 am
backwoodswriter says...



hello well first I want to say good job i liked it personally because i love music and my best friend and i write songs . but yours was very good keep writing:)
  





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Points: 933
Reviews: 10
Sun Oct 02, 2011 8:59 pm
scfdx says...



I like your song! It is lively and flowing, has a clear and easy to follow rhytme.
Morever, it's not as short as many other song (yeah, sometimes I see a song which is only 2 verses, which just repeating the same words over and over again!).


I’m stuck in endless rhyming
And words that have not a beat
My patience's running wild, man
I need measures on a sheet
I’m looking for a partner
Someone who does these bits
Ask yourself this question
Do you want to make hits?


I liked this verse, because it flows well and has strong lyric.


another thing I've noticed is that the stanzas aren't the same- It gives the song element of changing. It's good, it keeps the song alive.


At last, it is quite pretty song you've got there, keep writing.
  





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Reviews: 1220
Sun Oct 16, 2011 8:58 pm
Kale says...



Before I begin the review proper, I'd just like to point out that parodies need not be outright funny. They often are, but they do not always need to be so, and sometimes a more subtle form of humor, such as irony, works better.

I'm not familiar with the original song, so I'm afraid I can't comment on this in that regard. What I can point out is that sometimes, the words you used are not used quite correctly. For instance:

One that’s cool and not pretense

"Pretense" is a noun. The adjectival form is "pretentious". It never hurts to look words up in a dictionary to ensure that they are being used properly. Otherwise, you risk making things look silly to people who are familiar with the misused word and its proper usage.
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There are no chickens in Hyrule.
Princessence: A LMS Project
WRFF | KotGR
  








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