Young Writers Society

[VERSE 1]
I've been here before
I've seen these streets, and I've seen these doors
It's the colors running on the ground
It's the simple sights and the little sounds

[BRIDGE]
And if I take your simple idea
And turn it around
You would never really believe
What I found

[CHORUS]
It's Taking me back
Bringing me to
Just a moment
In a life that I once knew

[VERSE 2]
My mind is cold, and my body is broken
You say I speak well, but I've hardly spoken
You can't sit still, ya just talk to me
I'm looking at the sky, right through the trees

[BRIDGE]
And if I take your simple idea
And turn it around
You would never really believe
What I found

[CHORUS]
It's Taking me back
Bringing me to
Just a moment
In a life that I once knew

Greetings!

First note: I like your signature, especially noticing it after reading lyrics.

The Lyrics are good. I know it's always hard to read/review them without an idea of the background music. You have to remember that on a writers site we judge based on the poetic value - which is why lyrics generally get negetive reviews because many lyric-writers think the background music will carry the song. That said, this piece is really good.

"My mind is cold, and my body is broken / You say I speak well, but I've hardly spoken" - I love these lines. The rhyme works really well and the latter fascinates me. I really like the impression it gives.

On a critical note, like I said these lyrics get judged by their poetic value, and unless refering to a small child the word 'baby' looks a little amaturish. It's usaually an extra word to throw in some musical jazz or to even out the syllables, but it doesn't really do much for the lyrics themselves. And don't forget, 'ya' should always be 'you,' even if it sounds like that in your head.

Overall - reading lyrics annoy me, but these are really good. Nice work!
I hope you can compose some good music to go with them

I really liked this! I'd say I would definitely like this if it were a song, but it really depends a lot on the music that goes with it. Anyway, I really thought these lyrics were good. I don't really know how to review lyrics, though, so I'm sorry if I'm not helpful at all.

And if I take your simple idea [I really don't think you need the 'And' to start this line off, it would be better without it, I think.]
And turn it around
You would never really believe
What I found

It's Taking me back
Bringing me to [This is just my opinion, but I don't like it when a line cuts off, then the next line continues. It just makes it really choppy. I think each line should have a complete thought, and the next one can add to it, but still have it be complete. I don't know how things like this work in lyrics, though. Anyway, that's just what I think]
Just a moment
In a life that I once knew

My mind is cold, and my body is broken
You say I speak well, but I've hardly spoken [I really like this line. It fits really well here, too.]
You can't sit still, ya [I think this would sound better if you change it to 'you'. Otherwise it breaks the flow of the song.] just talk to me
I'm looking at the sky, right through the trees [I don't really get why this is here. How does it add anything to the song? I just don't see how it is relevant. Just my opinion, though.]

So, I really liked this, not sure how to critique as I said earlier, so don't feel like you need to listen to anything I said. Just suggestions. Anyway, good job
~Tayla