Young Writers Society

A message to me
An accusation brought against you
Reading more, I see
This accusation cannot be true
For when I had seen his face
The fucker looks too creepy
to ever have shared your grace

Am I too naive, that, I don't think so
Trust isn't always easy, but I manage so well
Am I in denial, I don't think so
With all the shit I've put her through - she's managed so well
So well

A woman, inadvertently, almost crushed my heart to dust
Creating such confusion on the premise of being wronged
She claims the one she loved was with you, but that I do not trust
Without any evidence, how am I to know what went on?
Just saying to me that you were with him
Doesn't really prove that you were with him

Am I too naive, that, I don't think so
Trust isn't always easy, but I manage so well
Am I in denial, I don't think so
With all the shit I've put her through - she's managed so well
So well

A message to me
An accusation born from her mind
Reading more, I see
This accusation's just wasting time
For when jealously comes out
It can really fuck you up
And leave you with so much doubt

Are we too naive, perhaps, we think so?
Trust isn't always easy, can we manage so well?
Are we in denial, have you thought so?
With all the shit we've been put through - We've managed so well
So well
Or have we not

Or have we not
Or have we not

In the spoilers wow what a story

The fucker looks too creepy
to ever have shared your grace

was you cussing on this part not that I think nothing is wrong with it I just didn't know was you cussing or not

Yay
You wrote about something real this time It really shows, this song is complex and conflicted - like a real person. ( I'm not saying I don't love ur made up ones by the way ).... As usual, flow and rhythm was perfect.. Oh and your into the swear words lately aren't you? I'm not saying I have a problem with it, because in moderation it can actually enhance your work (and you succeed in moderation). And while I'm at it- you spelt facial piercings right
I love the very, very interesting rhyming pattern you've got going on in your first verse- seven lines! Wow that's really unique, and it pays off because I was left going "wait where's the last line?"
I also love the way you're questioning yourself and answering in "Am I too naive, that, I don't think so" etc. Not only is it possibly the best way to get your head around things but it also works good for the song It really brings the reader closer into the song.
I also love the last line "Or have we not" it encapsulates that little current of doubt that's running subtly throughout the rest of the song, actually now I think about it it's a very large current of doubt.
I wouldn't change a thing, If anything I'd make it a bit longer!!
Hope all that ^^^ made sense, I'm tired so probably not. Keep up the good work -Rachel
And if you get time, review mine!!! Oh and I'm not sure why I think it's short, considering you've got the full 3 verses and choruses and coda, hmmm... Anyway sorry to completely confuse... your title is interesting...

Yay
You wrote about something real this time It really shows, this song is complex and conflicted - like a real person. ( I'm not saying I don't love ur made up ones by the way ).... As usual, flow and rhythm was perfect.. Oh and your into the swear words lately aren't you? I'm not saying I have a problem with it, because in moderation it can actually enhance your work (and you succeed in moderation). And while I'm at it- you spelt facial piercings right
I love the very, very interesting rhyming pattern you've got going on in your first verse- seven lines! Wow that's really unique, and it pays off because I was left going "wait where's the last line?"
I also love the way you're questioning yourself and answering in "Am I too naive, that, I don't think so" etc. Not only is it possibly the best way to get your head around things but it also works good for the song It really brings the reader closer into the song.
I also love the last line "Or have we not" it encapsulates that little current of doubt that's running subtly throughout the rest of the song, actually now I think about it it's a very large current of doubt.
I wouldn't change a thing, If anything I'd make it a bit longer!!
Hope all that ^^^ made sense, I'm tired so probably not. Keep up the good work -Rachel
And if you get time, review mine!!! Oh and I'm not sure why I think it's short, considering you've got the full 3 verses and choruses and coda, hmmm... Anyway sorry to completely confuse. And I might add in, Your title is interesting- not the kind of title where I think "Wow" but still interesting