Young Writers Society

I always thought you'd be
My Prince Charming.

Now I see
you took advantage of my insecurity
You never really liked me.

I always thought this would be
my Cinderella story

But now I see
I screwed up
but its your loss

And I've moved on
but your still the
boy
sittin' all alone.

My heart felt drawn to you
when you looked so lonely
but you used me.

Now I see
You took advantage of my insecurity
Now I see
I screwed up
but its your lost
cause your still the boy
sittin' all alone
with out any friends to call your own

But I could have been your friend
say a nice word
and lend
you a hand.

Now I see you used me
How could I ever believe
You could change?!

I always believed
When you said you loved me
Now I see you took advantage
of me.

This is a really nice song and it reminds me of just what the person in your avatar would write! I love her too by the way!
Ok, on to the review!

I had a few problems keeping up because I wasn't sure where the chorus was and where the verses were. That I think you can fix up easily. Apart from that here are the little mistakes you need to touch up on:

I always thought you'd be
My prince charming. Here I don't know, but I think it should be Prince Charming.

Now I see
you took advantage of my insecurity
You never really liked me.

I always thought this would be
my Cinderella story

But now I see
I screwed up
but it's your lost Did you mean 'your loss'?

And I've moved on
but you're still the
boy
sittin' all alone.

My heart felt drawn to you
when you looked so lonely
but you used me.

Now I see
You took advantage of my insecurity
Now I see
I screwed up
but it's your lost
'cause you're still the boy
sittin' all alone
without any friends to call your own

But I could have been your friend
say a nice word
and lend
you a hand.

Now I see you used me
How could I ever believe
You could change?!

I always believed
When you said you loved me
Now I see you took advantage
of me.

That's all!

I usually don't review lyrics because they have no rules but I just had to point out those little errors. I also believe that this type of literary work doesn't need much criticism because it's just the song-writer trying to express him/herself through music.

I loved the story told through the song, and like I said, it sounds/looks like something Taylor Swift would write: those sweet teenage heart stories.

I liked this and I wish you the best with your next pieces!


Keep writing!
- Mikko.

I always thought you'd be
My prince charming. somehow this doesn’t rhyme

Now I see
you took advantage of my insecurity
You never really liked me. I see the emotion, but can’t feel it. A little blunt somehow

I always thought this would be
my Cinderella story Awwww…ppl can relate here

But now I see
I screwed up
but its your lost loss, and again- rhymings off

My heart felt drawn to you
when you looked so lonely
but you used me. Again back to blunt
There’s a lot of redundancy but in music, most stuff don’t matter like poetry. Hope it works well for you