Young Writers Society

'Must be cool,' I type.
'What's that?'
'Fresh starts,' I type back, before I realise that it might be a naff thing to say.
...
'Wherever you go, there you are,' she says.
What does that mean?
'What does that mean?' I type.
'I think it's Buddhist. You'd prefer something about being stuck in your own bell jar? We had to read Plath at my old school. It means fresh starts are fresh for all of twenty-five seconds. Unless you can factor in a brain or personality transplant - there's no such thing as a fresh start. You drag yourself with you wherever you go.'




2021 | 2020 | 2019 | 2018 | 2017

meet me at town hall

take me back to the beginning
where everything ended
lead me along a mobius strip of all my mistakes
an unending cycle of lessons unlearned

meet me where we said goodbye
and pretend we're rewriting the past
instead of repeating it

once again and one more time
endlessly imagining a different conclusion

Hi TriSARAHtops! The book quote you're using as inspiration for this thread is really interesting, and I think it has a lot of poetic potential - which I can already see in your first poem! I really like how you take a fairly common concept; regrets/"I wish I could redo things", and make it totally your own with some tranfixing imagery. Literally, the description of life as a mobius strip of mistakes is /so good/. And then I also love how you ground a fairly abstract poem with the very physical, real title of "meet me at town hall". I can't wait to read the rest of your NaPo poems this year!

ii. the look

these are shaky foundations for romance
supported only by your quick smiles and your lingering glance
stay a little longer and i'll be yours forever
falling fast for that look in your eye

maybe it's the novelty i crave
the spark that flares before I learn your flaws
i don't know what you'll be to me yet
but i'm intoxicated by that look in your eye

we were never destined for an enduring love story
just a brief fantasy with unrealised potential
but in another world i could have loved you forever
all because of that look in your eye

you never knew me well enough to resent me
and perhaps I'm just romanticising the unknown
we were only ever temporary
but i'll never forget that look in your eye

Hi TriSARAHtops! This second poem is full of gems! I enjoyed the repetition of certain words and phrases, and how they tie the poem together. Some of my favourite lines were:

maybe it's the novelty i crave
the spark that flares before I learn your flaws

The alliteration with 'flares' and 'flaws' is really good, and these lines in general really sound like something fast, which ends quick, so that's form matching content right there.

I also really agree with Seirre on that 'mobius strip' metaphor in your first poem!

A great start to NaPo, and best of luck with your poetry!