z

Young Writers Society


twice over



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935 Reviews



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User avatar
935 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 2806
Reviews: 935




User avatar
935 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 2806
Reviews: 935




User avatar
935 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 2806
Reviews: 935




User avatar
935 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 2806
Reviews: 935




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Sun Apr 04, 2021 2:03 am
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niteowl says...



Hi there buddy!

Overall, I really like these. I'm on the fence about the artsy formatting stuff, because I often find that kind of distracting from the actual content and it can be hard to read, but it is really pretty.

The second one is definitely my favorite, possibly because I've written very similar things, haha. But it's such a strong contrast between the optimism of the past and the pessimism of the present. Also the double meaning of "school" is clever.

Looking forward to the rest of NaPo! :D
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci

<YWS><R1>
  





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Sun Apr 04, 2021 4:50 pm
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Shady says...



chaotic evil
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"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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Tue Apr 06, 2021 4:37 am
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Shady says...



desperation.
Today is NaPo
And I almost forgot the
Poem of the Day

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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Thu Apr 08, 2021 4:55 am
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Shady says...



:(
Image

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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Fri Apr 09, 2021 1:48 am
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Hijinks says...



SHADY <33

First -> hello this is a sophisticated as hecc masterpiece thank u very much:
Today is NaPo
And I almost forgot the
Poem of the Day
Love the stylistic choices of capitalization + lack of punctuation, superbly conveys a tone of fatigue I think !!

:( -> aah I really adore oxymorons, and I think the simplicity and to-the-point-ness of this one works really well. (also--is "least favourite" a sneaky oxymoron? maybe? >.>)

chaotic evil -> aww this is so wholesome and lovely I cry :') I really love the line "aren't merely trapped in fond memories" - I know there's nothing too overly-ornate or complicated or layer-upon-layer of imagery about it, but it's really effective. (Actually, that's what I like about your writing as a whole; you're so good at writing effective and impactful poetry without a bunch of frilly imagery. I can NOT say the same for me @_@)

(OH also also just wanted to say LUV the changes you made to ornaments of identity, the black text is a bajillion times more striking and "whittle" is way more specific and effective I think <3 and how you've formatted "acceptable" matches the meaning of the word much more closely as well! :))

keep up the fantabulous work ShadyVypy! looking forward to more lovely angsty poetry this April c:
When you're faced with something you don't understand, I think the most natural thing but also least interesting thing you can be is afraid.

-- Hank Green

they/them
(previously whatchamacallit and Seirre)
  





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Fri Apr 09, 2021 2:14 am
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Shady says...



@whatchamacallit -- AHH WHATCHA COMPLIMENTS, my heart :' )

Love the stylistic choices of capitalization + lack of punctuation, superbly conveys a tone of fatigue I think !!


Hi, yes, you may thank my autocorrect for that super intentional stylistic choice in my super big brain poem xD

:( -> aah I really adore oxymorons, and I think the simplicity and to-the-point-ness of this one works really well. (also--is "least favourite" a sneaky oxymoron? maybe? >.>)


Lolll I snuck an oxymoron into each line... "least favorite"... "bittersweetness" (and my argument: "good"bye)... sweet sorrow (according to the internet, I'm a bit dubious about this one but Google assures me it's an oxymoron)... "only choice"

(Actually, that's what I like about your writing as a whole; you're so good at writing effective and impactful poetry without a bunch of frilly imagery. I can NOT say the same for me @_@)


AWWWWW <33 I'm glad you like it! I just kinda WING IT and it turns out okay sometimes xD I was also proud of that line though and I'm happy it was effective -- that poem was absolutely about the recent meet-up with my YWS buds. Am I also proud of the fact that I worked the word "chaos" into one of my poems? Yes, yes I am.

(OH also also just wanted to say LUV the changes you made to ornaments of identity, the black text is a bajillion times more striking and "whittle" is way more specific and effective I think <3 and how you've formatted "acceptable" matches the meaning of the word much more closely as well! :))


AYE I'm glad you like the edits! c:

keep up the fantabulous work ShadyVypy! looking forward to more lovely angsty poetry this April c:


Awww, no u ;) Thanks for the kind words <333 This made me smile so much And also reminded me that I have yet to write a poem today, oops

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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Fri Apr 09, 2021 4:54 am
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Shady says...



the code of my regret
Image

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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Fri Apr 16, 2021 11:53 pm
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Shady says...



flakes of my regret
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"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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935 Reviews



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Reviews: 935
Sat Apr 17, 2021 8:15 am
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Shady says...



[18+ for an f-bomb]
no rest for the imposters

Image

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  





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935 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 2806
Reviews: 935
Sun Apr 18, 2021 9:27 am
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Shady says...



best regards
Image

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]
  








People with writer's blocks should get together and build a castle.
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