Young Writers Society

Ahhh thank you alliyah!! :D Yup, I'm definitely trying to experiment this year! And yes I agree, origami is wonderful and very poetic ^-^ Thank you!!!

{8} 4/6

@_@

poeting late at night again
i really should stop procrastinating
but somehow ideas escape me
they're like [insert clever simile here]
inspiration, where are you?
you are my [metaphor]
[adjective] [noun] [verb] [adverb]
i should probably sleep now @_@

{9} 4/7

melody

watching the sunset
flood the sky with
blooming pinks and oranges
deep breaths, equilibrium
and i listen to the soft guitar
warm notes paint the air
gentle smiles
i want to bottle up this moment
and savor it, keep it on the top shelf
waiting for the sunlight
to strike it with a crystal song

Hey NaPo buddy! Here to comment on your two latest poems! Let's start with @_@. This poem was very funny and charming! I really liked how you used brackets and put certain things you wanted to insert! Leaving them there was a great decision!

Now for melody! And this might just be me but I like to capitalize my titles. Though not capitalizing it does make it seem more loose and fun! I also really quickly wanted to ask you if I could use your color title idea and put some different colors on my titles. If you want to keep it exclusive to you I totally understand! Anyways back to the poem! This poem painted such a clear vivid picture! I'm sure this picture could be different for most but I personally saw the narrator on a hill watching an outstanding sunset while someone brought along strums notes on their guitar. I also really enjoyed the word crystal in the end. It brought it to such a nice close! Also, I know this is pretty long so if you would like me to spoiler it let me know!

Ahh Maple thanks so much for the comment, this brought a huge smile to my face!! ^-^ I super appreciate all the kind words, and no need to enspoiler it, I don't mind keeping my thread messy XD also YES you can use the color title idea!! I'm excited to see what you come up with while using it!!! :DDD

Thank you so much! And I'm glad you liked it!

{10} 4/8

doubts

i
wonder if
flowers have doubts too?
do they ever think,
i wish i were prettier
more colorful
blessed by brighter petals?

do trees ever ask themselves,
why aren't you wiser,
kinder,
better?

does the sky ever wish
it could be someone else?

{11} 4/8

mmm

oh i meant to say
--i mint to say--
that i wish i met
you never

and oh man,
i hope it's not mean
but i find that your mien
is rather mad and demeaning

so if you'll excuse me
i have a meat to meet
and to eat for my monday dinner

{12} 4/9

ahh

ahh i'm falling
flying
poeting? and
kinda rhyming

{13} 4/10

thirteen

friday the thirteenth,
unlucky thirteen—
or is it?

i will adopt thirteen
as my lucky number instead
because it deserves a chance
to escape superstition

{14} 4/10

an exercise in rhyming

rest your tired eyes
my child
sink into sighing sleep
gentle and mild
and leave behind
your thoughts most wild
fear not the toils of tomorrow
and let your worries be exiled

{15} 4/11

...

i, uh—
so what i mean is—
no no no, that’s not quite right.
i— uggghhh...

why am i sometimes
so incoherent
and, just, ahhhh?

you know what i mean?

some days it feels as if
words flow from my pen
like water from a mountain spring

and other days, well,
words are more like
that sticky crust of ketchup
around the bottle’s rim

so i’ll just say ...
and you can interpret that
any way you will
^-^

{16} 4/11

you know, sometimes,
i feel like titles should come at the end.
for some poems
it just kinda makes sense
for readers to read first
and let the title sum it up later.
not to mention that
when writing poems
i tend to think of titles last.
so anyways that’s why i think
titles should come at the end.
C:

{17} 4/12

gravity

colored scraps of paper
floating gently to the floor
i try to blow them up again but
gravity is relentless
and i am too weak to challenge
its ever-constant presence.

i've always dreamed of flying
but upon my waking
would i be brave enough
to let go?

maybe gravity
is what keeps me
from fa[i](l)ling

{18} 4/13

looking up

i look up
at all these poets above me,
floating on their pedestals of dreams.
feathered pens in hand
they alternate between
staring into space and
scribbling madly on
perfectly crinkled paper.

i look down
at the muddy stone below me
footprints and pathways leading
to and away from
where i'm standing.
but there's no pathway up
to those poets in the clouds.
no ladder, staircase, or elevator
inviting me to float among them.

if i want to become
one of those exalted poets
it seems i'll have to
learn
to
fly.