Young Writers Society

Don't tell the other poets I said this -- but poem #1 may be my favorite of all the poems I've read so far. I can connect to it so much, as an overachiever and perfectionist who is also learning to love the process of growth. My favorite lines were "But I'm trying to get used to stumbling // into new days, and falling in love // with the freshness of first drafts and birds // still learning to fly; straining wings against // the sky". It captured that emotion that I just described -- learning to love the process of growth -- so well in a succinct and imagery-packed format. Extremely well done!

Aside from that, the single description of "worn-out conversations" stuck out to me as a perfect description of what it feels like to be so comfortably in love with someone that you speak of the same things over and over again because you love talking to them. It's something I can connect with and captured that idea so well.

Keep up the great work!

Thank you everyone for your comments (& likes) - you're all so encouraging! <3
@ethanhoover Well, no. Teal is very different from Dark Cyan. -> I'll direct you to these two resources which I've made available in my signature as well. article, poem. Thanks again for commenting!
@hiraeth thank you!! (I'm loving all your formatting, keep it up!)
@Tuckster Awh, thanks! I appreciate that a lot Tuck. I don't know if you're into enneagram at all, but I'm an Enneagram 1, which is the perfectionist, and studying that a bit has given me a lot of insight into positive ways to use my perfectionism, and also ways that it's destructive - so I've been thinking on that a lot, because I think it comes up in my writing process a lot.
@PrincessInk thanks! even though like I said the soap-part is fictional, I definitely feel that - I still don't really swear at all to this day (in part because I don't want to let down my mom!) I like that each of those poems went in such different directions, but I feel like also had a thread of continuity.
@mckaylaam - thank you! That's one of my favorite's too, and I'm glad you liked the zombie one, that one was interesting to write for sure.

@Liberty thank you! I appreciate it!
@Liminality thanks again! I think that was my favorite of the three - I really like the turn it took at the end - and so glad you liked the zombie one too - some times variety is fun!

alternate formatting

@AvantCoffee thank you! <3 <3 I used to have two zebra finches - and was surprised to find they seemed to experience (or at least express!) a whole range of emotions if you'd just listen to them. And I know that birds very rarely (if ever) get electrocuted from sitting on wires, but I always think it's an odd thing - that is a pretty good metaphor for how I feel sometimes!

And YES. Thanks! my thread's alternate name: "Bird Doodles. And Poetry."

first version

I think I wrote some of the content for this poem at an earlier time - since I found a chunk of it in my notes / but I'm going to count it as a new poem because I changed it up a bit and added new formatting.

Here's the easily readable version for those who have trouble reading upside-down:

i'm often thinking about drowning; lately in air.

breathing is now overwhelming &
nothing seems to calm my lungs.
anxiety is strange; everything's
stirring, fighting against water,
weighing me down.
then there's the darkness,
which i try not to confuse with peace.
because peace requires hope.
and that's still somewhere in the
treading against gravity, in the holding
your breath a little longer.

author's note: I always feel strange writing about my family - because even anonymously on the internet, I don't want people to think I don't love them. Emotions & memories are way more complicated than words can ever adequately capture.

writing prompt: a holiday from your childhood that stands out

I woke up this morning and thought of the line, "we are phonebook fish" I've gotta write a poem about that. Now that I'm awake, I have no idea what that was supposed to mean, but decided to try to write a poem about it.

bonus formatting:


plain text:
we are phonebook fish,
you and me; unrooted treading through
galaxies; we are every hurricane,
stir spin dive, spreading pages loose, unbind them - paper is cheap
let me soak in your ocean-dreams, your name is written here
and here and here, check the index if you don't believe me,
but don't forget to call back, they're always forgetting to call back
these old numbers disconnected, because land-lines
became irrelevant in the year of the millennium;
the year the world was supposed to end, the apocalypse
isn't subtle darling, but you'll miss it if you're always land-bound
watch your loved-ones become ocean-discards;
furniture for water-bottle islands, so cool and uncollected,
would you live here with me, we're short on reality,
but i can breathe through rainstorms and
slay every sea-demon that looks like love,
and you won't forget me.