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cherry coke and the indiscriminate hippie archives

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63 Reviews

Gender: Female
Points: 723
Reviews: 63
Wed May 01, 2019 1:56 am
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amelie says...


back me up, ohio

I grew up in rural ohio
The trees in my backyard touched trees
That touched Jeffrey Dahmer.
The dark and dusty abandoned farmhouses
And the 50s machinery all rusty and gone.

It’s not always easy being so far out here
Detached and over-looked,
Coined a white trash hillbilly.
Dad’s a drunk, so’s the neighbor
And his wife and their daughter.
I don’t know what went wrong
But they’re all broken up about
Someone or something.

Cherry coke and the hippies
Just running free,
Lost to even themselves.
Blistering, bubbling skin in the sun
You can always tell when it’s raining
By the way the pond moves
And takes the hits-
You can always tell how he’s feeling
By the way his hands move
And take the hits.
The sad history repeats -Mark Kozelek
Is a fan- and they’re up and at ‘em again,
Ongoing conversationalists,
Adult-movie enthusiasts,
Once-a-month excavationists.

Oh, boy. Back me up, Ohio
Where I was planted
And where I was grown.

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1231 Reviews

Gender: Female
Points: 144350
Reviews: 1231
Wed May 01, 2019 4:21 am
alliyah says...

You may have started late, but you finished right on time! Congratulations on completing NaPo @amelie! :) There are a lot of interesting pairings/image turns in here that make the poems feel very layered (like "i ate the house to keep it safe inside."<<- loved that line!). Your poems also didn't go for a lot of flowery language, but had a very raw direct voice that really felt consistent throughout the thread.

Your narrative ones were probably some of my favorite, as I'm a big fan of a poem that can tell a story - "grounded" was great, and "Daniel (Gustavo)" too. Bulldoze and Cherry Coke were also memorable!

And a lot of the themes from the thread seem to stir up in this final poem which is a neat conclusion. Well done!
you should know i am a time traveler &
there is no season as achingly temporary as now
but i have promised to return

If you are tired remember it's a sign that you haven't expired
— fatherfig