Tell me what you hear when you step out of your car and into the forest. Tell me about the sunlight mottled green, the smell of earth and trees and all the good things we lost when we decided to run till the landscape blurred.
I will be waiting for you in a place where oaks do not tower above the land, where willows do not hide their weeping with their crinkly leaves. And after I have drunk in all your words, I will ask you what I have always asked: Did the trees and the wind whisper a story, one whose roots dug all the way back to when the world was new?
Tales always unlock the hearts of lives they tell, sometimes even till I can recognize them even if they are turned inside out. I would love to clap my hands against their hands and tell them, I know you even though you are realms away.
It is just that some wishes are as wispy as fading dreams, because they are in a place both too near and too far for me to reach.
Sometimes the only way to know a tree is to cut it down and count its rings. Yet by the time I understood every word and thought inscribed in its being, it had crossed a bridge and left me standing in its wake.
I wrote a message to the tree, on paper in the hopes that my words would pierce through a bit of its soul. The echoes haunting me later is a reminder of how futile it is to whisper into the ear of someone you once loved.
I am licking my lips to try to relive the memories of spring: of the rain spattering over us of the birdsong trilling the birth of new leaves and flowers of the puddles splashing its presence into being.
We all yearn to feel the aches of a body slowly recovering from past hurts embedded deep in our veins.
But the cold is always numbing them in a frosty hug (and makes us forget both pleasure and pain); we must cling on to what we remember while it lasts.
It is something wondrous to wake up on a spring morning and kiss the chilly breezes and smile at the earth.
(It is always peeking out at us from the rain puddles. We will be all together, united even with the drops of sweat from the sky.)
I am apt to believe that we are in some sort of golden era:
the world we live in is a mosaic metal shaped into our servants, knowledge compiled and sorted out till it defies the fickleness of fortunetelling, faces aglow with the light from screens and the chance to see each other without touching.
Yet, outside, a stray weed can make its home in a crevice of a road. A tree can crack the tiles in my yard. Ivy throttles a wall in its leafed grip.
You, golden one, are the sun glimmering past the place I thought was the limits.
I am a blade of grass striving to leave a mark in this world and I know there are many like me. (We stand in clumps and send secrets to each other with rhizomes.)
A secret I have never told anyone: I ache to stand taller and taller and taller and glow with my own light like you do, wake the world again and feed us heady wine.
There is nothing easier than pretending that I can tumble all my contents out and replace them with what I hope is sunlight, but soaking in too much of it scorches me from both the inside (for too much antidote can turn into poison) and the outside (for sunbathing too long leads to sunburns).
One morning, though, I saw a new shoot saluting the world and I tipped it some dew for a week. (It is taller than I now).
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