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Young Writers Society


i would for you always—



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425 Reviews



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Reviews: 425
Sat Mar 31, 2018 10:22 pm
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Vervain says...



o. vespertine

she was born of the changing
of day and night; out of the meeting
wholly formed she stepped onto the bank
and spread her arms to hold fast the horizons
stay off the faerie paths
  





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Mon Apr 02, 2018 1:17 am
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Vervain says...



i. 24

this illustrated calendar is 24 pages long.
every day has a name and number,
sun and moon;
a waxing gibbous when i loved you,
swollen and serene;
a waning hangnail on the dark night—

let's not talk about the dark night.
i loved you—

and this calendar is short.

24 is such a small number;
24 months i have not known you
but every day my heart twists
at the thought of coming home.

you are so far away now, but still
i would, for you, always.
Last edited by Vervain on Tue Apr 03, 2018 11:26 am, edited 2 times in total.
stay off the faerie paths
  





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Mon Apr 02, 2018 9:40 pm
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Vervain says...



ii. free is a four letter word

i found you crying with a razor in your hand
about something that happened three years ago
you thought you were over it—i thought
it came crashing back in waves and lap by lap
washed away the sea wall i built up and all poured in,
in, and in my basin it drowned me
you were better than this before the relapse
you were doing so well but we can't all win
so cut your hair // pretend
chunks rough and ragged cut by
shaking hands that can't stay still that dance like
fireflies, nerves like fire, nerves on fire
but so much freer
you won
Last edited by Vervain on Tue Apr 03, 2018 10:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
stay off the faerie paths
  





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Tue Apr 03, 2018 1:26 am
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keystrings says...



So i. 24 blew me away, by your vocabulary, and I love how you applied the 24 pages to a time period. I didn’t even think of that until you laced it all together. Brilliant.

ii. free is a four letter word hurts, because you paint a heartbreaking picture of struggling with one’s life, and the the first/second person perspective draws the reader in. The transition of “nerves like fire, nerves on fire” is so good.

Both pieces are really good!
name: key/string/perks
pronouns: she/her/hers and they/them/theirs


novel: the clocktower (camp nano apr 24)
poetry: the beauty of the untold (napo 2024)
  





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Tue Apr 03, 2018 9:41 pm
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Vervain says...



iii. cleaner

sound doesn't travel through a vacuum;
what few particles there are
float far enough apart
the vibration dies
(space is on fire, but
you learn that in school)

when you scream into the void
it disappears
your actions are wiped of intent
the abyss is vast and steadier than you
(it listens only to
echoes of itself)

it will suck you in,
a particle alone, on fire,
and when it lets you go
you will have changed
(you will be
cleaner, now.)
stay off the faerie paths
  





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Tue Apr 03, 2018 10:43 pm
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alliyah says...



Lareine, your poetry is so steeped in emotion - "ii. free is a four letter word" really hit me. There's just so much vulnerability and then the imagery you use (in all of your poems) is vibrant and pulls the reader into those emotions.

These lines are just heartbreaking and beautiful:
"it came crashing back in waves and lap by lap
washed away the sea wall i built up and all poured in,
in, and in my basin it drowned me"


Looking forward to following the rest of your NaPo writing!
you should know i am a time traveler &
there is no season as achingly temporary as now
but i have promised to return
  





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Wed Apr 04, 2018 12:13 pm
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hexglass says...



You have some beautiful phrasing like "waning hangnail on the dark night" and "the abyss is vast and steadier than you", which is just so enchanting to read and immerse myself in. I especially love the interaction between short, sharp lines without punctuation, and the run-on lines that seem to mimic a breathless panic. This has to be my favourite part, and it will stick with me for a long time:

shaking hands that can't stay still that dance like
fireflies, nerves like fire, nerves on fire
  





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Wed Apr 04, 2018 9:02 pm
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Vervain says...



thanks y'all for your comments <3 much appreciated!
stay off the faerie paths
  





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Wed Apr 04, 2018 9:31 pm
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Vervain says...



iv. what is real & what is not

the ocean is deeper than night and more studded with stars
in the eyes of blind fish; the ocean is deeper than night
and is more unexplored than the stars that we wish
upon; wish on a fish and its flickering light
and its jaw full of needles for teeth;
wish on a star and its ever-so-far-away
light that produces no heat.
stay off the faerie paths
  





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Thu Apr 05, 2018 10:46 pm
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Vervain says...



v. daisy chain

know this: the world is a daisy chain of change and absolute

the area of a circle is pi times the radius squared
and dead bodies lose their warmth relative to the
temperature of the room they're left in

two shades of night never look the same
and the morning sky is never quite the color
it was the day before

the greatest mysteries are the ones we never solve
but spend our lives trying to understand—
the people who need to know the answer to life
are the ones not asking themselves every day

flowers absorb the color of the water they're fed;
dye can change a generation into tattooed rebels
with daisies in their hot pink hair and spikes
sewn to beating hearts

know this: we're all children in the eyes of time,
and know this: children can love,

and know this too: i love you

as one wanderer loves another,
to find a wildflower blooming in passing and forever
wonder how we changed the world;
stay off the faerie paths
  





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Fri Apr 06, 2018 9:44 am
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Arcticus says...



know this: we're all children in the eyes of time,
and know this: children can love,

and know this too: i love you

as one wanderer loves another,
to find a wildflower blooming in passing and forever
wonder how we changed the world


This is heavy <3
You either worship something higher than yourself or end up worshiping yourself

Naturally Tipsy ©
  





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Fri Apr 06, 2018 9:36 pm
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Vervain says...



vi. supercell

When the sky turned black, we stashed your old memories
in the closet. You leaned down and kissed my forehead
and for a moment, the world smelled like mint
and everything was good.

You carried me home and wrapped me in your bed sheets.
We were a mess—
God, we were a mess.
The world ended, and I drank what remedies I could,
but most of them were left to melt in the snowbanks.

You told me you loved me,
but my heart burst through my ribs and screamed
hatred and vitriol under the currents of joy.
I love you, I do—but
it's difficult to reconcile that with
the truth that I am unlovable; you are unattainable;
and we travel in different orbits.

I would live a thousand memories if it meant
I could accept the future like I have the past.

All the best lies are true.
stay off the faerie paths
  





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Sat Apr 07, 2018 5:40 pm
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Vervain says...



vii. vii

blood is the root of all evil
curled through cracked red clay down
to the bowels of the earth that bore you

you work to dig it out from under
the midsummer sun so heavy
on aching shoulders

your hair tendrils into smoke
and you keep digging deeper
until a flash flood washes you away

into the ravine and out of the sun
you struggle for a grip and lose
your shovel so you dig with hands instead

until your fingers break

you join generations caked in dust
so thick it's all you taste when you breathe
you can't wash it away

you've tried
you've failed

so you work until night and
collapse in the grave you dug
a corpse made of clay
in a world built on blood
stay off the faerie paths
  





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Sun Apr 08, 2018 6:56 pm
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Vervain says...



viii. born 'n razed

he always takes the first swing;
his grin is full of broken teeth,
sharp and dangerous, and
each punch crashes towards
newcomers calling his bluff

he's carved from the asphalt
striped black/white/yellow and
faded by the baking city sun into
a shadow of who he was born to be

he walks on weak ankles and
shattered legs with his fists up
in case someone thinks he'll be
an easy target

and swings—
fast and hard—
at anyone who gets too close
stay off the faerie paths
  








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