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1690 Reviews

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User avatar
1690 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Female
Points: 114377
Reviews: 1690
Fri Mar 16, 2018 9:30 pm
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BlueAfrica says...





Goals


Spoiler! :
    - complete at least 4 poems to my own satisfaction
    (i.e. completed enough to feel okay posting them for feedback)
    - no haikus
    (because I always use them to play catch-up)
    - focus on clarity and conciseness

    bonus: complete at least 4 poetry reviews


checkpoints and details


Spoiler! :
    - have one new poem completed each Friday
    - par each poem down to the essentials
    (try to avoid using five thousand metaphors & unrelated images in
    a single poem)
    - find figurative language that really works
    (as opposed to using words that sound pretty but are unrelated
    to the intended theme/emotion)

    bonus: have one new poetry review completed each Sunday
  





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Sat Apr 07, 2018 2:03 am
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Aley says...



It's friday! Where's the poem? >3
  





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Mon Apr 09, 2018 5:37 pm
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Audy says...



@Aley, Blue has been poeting marvelously in the shadows :P Sneaky!
  





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Sat Apr 14, 2018 11:17 pm
BlueAfrica says...



Okay so ignoring the fact that I didn't even get notifications about that message??? But thank you @Aley for attempting to keep my accountable. Get ready because here's what I wrote in an upset hurry last Sunday at a restaurant and revised heavily over the past week and am still not entirely happy with but it's "to my own satisfaction" enough to post at least

(@Audy thanks so much for the help <3)
  





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Sat Apr 14, 2018 11:21 pm
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BlueAfrica says...



I miss the birds in winter

not the way you miss
a name on a gravestone
with memories of the ice cream he bought you
and an ache in your breast

but the way you miss your mother
when you live states apart:
it’s when you see her at Christmas and say
_____I missed you
that you know it’s true.

I don’t realize until spring
when they return—
_____the birds
________the grass
_____________the buds on the lilac bush
_____________beside my garage
it’s the way I missed
____all the splintered pieces of myself
_______when I wore a wedding band.

I chinked the gaps in
with mud and slush and snow,
daubed over everything
_____with fir trees
________and colored lights
_____________and train rides to Virginia

you don’t realize things are missing
you don’t know the earth is sleeping

until
_____the first blackbird
________wakes you up
_____________and trills his first spring song.
  





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Sun Apr 22, 2018 1:57 pm
BlueAfrica says...



Well, I'm still three poems behind especially since I think the last one I scribbled down probably isn't going anywhere but on the plus side I'm right on track with my poetry reviews. So that's an accomplishment, I guess.
  





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Sun Apr 22, 2018 8:18 pm
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Cadi says...



So I just got around to reading this poem in full, and I'd like to let you know that it's excellent. You wonderfully evoke the two different kinds of missing, and illustrate the emotional pieces of missing yourself with the beautiful metaphor of the blackbird (and the blackbirds have been out in force, singing beautiful songs, near me this week, so I'm feeling that all the more).
"The fact is, I don't know where my ideas come from. Nor does any writer. The only real answer is to drink way too much coffee and buy yourself a desk that doesn't collapse when you beat your head against it." --Douglas Adams
  





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Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:50 pm
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BlueAfrica says...



@Aley I don't have four poems but look I have four poetry reviews
  








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