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insipid kisses and other midnight musings



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Mon Apr 16, 2018 4:50 am
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alliyah says...



You've got some fantastic figurative language in these pieces. Wow, I love the ones where you just go from one metaphor or image to the next.

Your April 13th poem was really just filled with "feels" and every line just builds on the last one.

we are two galaxies never
meant to exist in the same universe,
let alone the same sky
we are much too empty and too vast
trying to engulf the other to hide
the blackholes in our hearts
that not even the light in our
stars can fill


The way you intertwined all those images seamlessly into one piece, is so great!
but i don't think i can ever love someone
who doesn't understand that teal
is a different color than dark cyan.


  





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Mon Apr 16, 2018 5:34 pm
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TheBlueCat says...



<3 your figurative language is simply beautiful; delicate yet from normal items we find everyday. My favorite is your April 15th poem c:
Unofficial Blue Cat of YWS =^-^=

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Mon Apr 16, 2018 6:23 pm
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bluewaterlily says...



Thanks so much guys! <3
"A poet is, before anything else, a person who is passionately in love with language." - W.H. Auden
  





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Wed Apr 18, 2018 6:28 am
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bluewaterlily says...



if it's something i've learned in my twenty-one years of life
is that heartbreak is never as loud or sudden as it seems
it's not two cars colliding head on into fatality,
it's the moment you see the headlights and know
the outcome

it's never the avalanche swallowing you
It’s the shadow engulfing you
that one the moment before disaster
when you see it coming toward you head on
and it’s too late to avoid collision
Last edited by bluewaterlily on Mon Apr 23, 2018 3:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
"A poet is, before anything else, a person who is passionately in love with language." - W.H. Auden
  





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Wed Apr 18, 2018 11:17 am
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bluewaterlily says...



Flight
Last edited by bluewaterlily on Tue Nov 13, 2018 3:16 pm, edited 2 times in total.
"A poet is, before anything else, a person who is passionately in love with language." - W.H. Auden
  





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Thu Apr 19, 2018 4:29 am
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bluewaterlily says...



when i was young
the world was painted in
kaliedoscopic hues, the future
glimmering and shifting like jewels
that dazzled me but
with each winter I've lived
And every storm I've weathered,
The jewel tone sky has bled out,
tarnished gray, and my world has rusted
with time, I've come to realize
I could never really
tell diamonds from cubic zirconia
Last edited by bluewaterlily on Sun Apr 22, 2018 1:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"A poet is, before anything else, a person who is passionately in love with language." - W.H. Auden
  





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Fri Apr 20, 2018 2:42 am
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bluewaterlily says...



Staring into the future
Is like peering in the
Depths of a murky pond,
never knowing what lurks
beneath the surface.
"A poet is, before anything else, a person who is passionately in love with language." - W.H. Auden
  





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Sun Apr 22, 2018 5:52 am
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alliyah says...



Oooff there's so much truth in this one:

if it's something i've learned in my twenty-one years of life
is that heartbreak is never as loud or sudden as it seems
it's not two cars colliding head on into fatality,
it's the moment you see the headlights and know
the outcome


perfect imagery, with a dramatic touch in the line breaks. I'm also a big fan of the poem about pin-pricked bones - really clever concept and execution.
but i don't think i can ever love someone
who doesn't understand that teal
is a different color than dark cyan.


  





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Sun Apr 22, 2018 8:20 pm
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Cadi says...



bluewaterlily wrote:They pinpricked my bones,
To hollow them so I could
Fly, but now that I’m on
The precipice if flight, and
My bones are full of
Porous keyholes, I don’t
Know if my wings are
Strong enough to carry me,
Even with all this added emptiness.


This one is wonderful! Concise, with such vivid imagery. I can really feel the moment of teetering on the edge.
"The fact is, I don't know where my ideas come from. Nor does any writer. The only real answer is to drink way too much coffee and buy yourself a desk that doesn't collapse when you beat your head against it." --Douglas Adams
  





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Mon Apr 23, 2018 3:12 am
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bluewaterlily says...



Thanks so much @Cadi and @alliyah or taking the time to read/comment on my NaPo. As always, every comment and read means a lot.

@Cadi I guess short poems really suit my style. I think what was so relatable and real for this poem was being more idealistic when I was younger and believing in freedom and then getting older and realizing that freedom is a very elusive concept, one I've yet to really grasp and no matter how much older you are, there's always going to be something trying to hold you back, most likely yourself.

@alliyah I think the pin-pricked bone one (gosh I really need titles for these newr poems) is one of my favorites too. I didn't really like the heartbreak one. It's probably one of my least favorites. Maybe I just found it too repetitive. But I'm glad you liked it and could relate! The line breaks were actually accidental (because of YWS) but since you though t they worked I think I will keep them that way.

Thanks again to both of you for commenting!
"A poet is, before anything else, a person who is passionately in love with language." - W.H. Auden
  





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Mon Apr 23, 2018 3:16 am
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bluewaterlily says...



I don't know how to "wear my heart on my sleeve"
when it has been bruised too many times by
careless handlings and returned to me
in the middle of the night
bleeding carelessly over the bedsheets

I've spent many lonely nightfalls
wrapping myself like a mummy
in layer after layer of blankets
as if they were bandages and could
stop the hemorrhaging of heart tissue
torn asunder

I'm not a surgeon
no one has taught me
how to repair an aorta
I did the best I could
and Time took over,
mending me with clumsy stitches
that have left jagged scars

I now hide behind my sleeve,
and gaurd my heart carefully
because some people are the trigger
and others are bullets going straight
through you

one shot
(and
you're)
.
done.
"A poet is, before anything else, a person who is passionately in love with language." - W.H. Auden
  





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Mon Apr 23, 2018 3:47 am
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bluewaterlily says...



my heart is like a revolving door
always swinging between
o p e n
and (closed)
but all this spinning
is making me dizzy
"A poet is, before anything else, a person who is passionately in love with language." - W.H. Auden
  





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Mon Apr 23, 2018 4:33 am
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bluewaterlily says...



it's hard to fall asleep at night
when the darkness presses
in on me, like a blanket,
like a coffin, drenching me
in shadows as I navigate
the underworld of my
fears and racing thoughts,
chasing chariots of them
across the rocky landscape
of my mind to drown out
the silence as the rest
of the world sleeps
I know I won't get
rest until the sun is up
and the light dissolves
the shadows clinging to me
"A poet is, before anything else, a person who is passionately in love with language." - W.H. Auden
  





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Mon Apr 23, 2018 4:46 am
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bluewaterlily says...



starbound

navigating the future
seems only possible
in the middle of the night
when my thoughts race
like wild horses and the
stars are visible to guide
me even if the sky shifting map
with the coherence of a bowl
of alphabet soup incapable
of discerning the future
which is always fluid,
scattering tendrils of stardust
across my barren galaxy
lightyears of possibilities to be explored
it becomes impossible to look away from
what was once a blank canvas because
each night supernovas of opportunity
and hope erupt across my skies
blooming like night jasmines
when I should be asleep
but I am too impatient, too eager
to watch the firework display
hoping to catch remannts of
shooting star dust in my palms
to sprinkle around the daylight
like holy water to make tomorrow easier
"A poet is, before anything else, a person who is passionately in love with language." - W.H. Auden
  





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Mon Apr 23, 2018 1:24 pm
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TheBlueCat says...



I absolutely love the 'wear my heart on my sleeve' one and 'starbound'. Your writing style is just so beautiful <3 Also congrats on completing NaPo!
Unofficial Blue Cat of YWS =^-^=

"You can never look at a book the same way once you've read it"

My PM box is always open for anything and everything <3

~Never stop looking up~
  








A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong.
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