z

Young Writers Society


the laws of coming and going



User avatar
153 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 32184
Reviews: 153
Sat Apr 01, 2017 10:41 pm
Jagged says...



it is in your self-interest to find a way to be very tender
Last edited by Jagged on Tue Apr 04, 2017 10:40 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Lumi: they stand no chance against the JAG SAFETY BLANKET
  





User avatar
153 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 32184
Reviews: 153
Sat Apr 01, 2017 10:44 pm
View Likes
Jagged says...



[.]
Last edited by Jagged on Sat Aug 26, 2017 9:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Lumi: they stand no chance against the JAG SAFETY BLANKET
  





User avatar
1081 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 220
Reviews: 1081
Sat Apr 01, 2017 11:50 pm
Virgil says...



This poem is wonderful. The imagery you use is beautiful and I like the structure and meter that you use for it. <3

Will Review For Food - Always taking review requests!

Discuss the last piece of media you consumed in Media Reviews!
  





User avatar
153 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 32184
Reviews: 153
Sun Apr 02, 2017 9:51 pm
View Likes
Jagged says...



[.]
Last edited by Jagged on Sat Aug 26, 2017 9:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Lumi: they stand no chance against the JAG SAFETY BLANKET
  





User avatar
696 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Female
Points: 5533
Reviews: 696
Mon Apr 03, 2017 3:30 am
Audy says...



Your thread-quote (it is in your self-interest to find a way to be very tender) is so perfect. Both of these poems read like open wounds, like tender wounds. How does a voice achieve that, ahhhh <3 <3 <3
  





User avatar
153 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 32184
Reviews: 153
Mon Apr 03, 2017 10:23 pm
View Likes
Jagged says...



<333 for the comments, it's nice to know people are reading and enjoying this!

— —

[.]
Last edited by Jagged on Sat Aug 26, 2017 9:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Lumi: they stand no chance against the JAG SAFETY BLANKET
  





User avatar
31 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 1025
Reviews: 31
Mon Apr 03, 2017 11:24 pm
KaiTheGreater says...



Wow, I really love your style of poetry. :)
Formerly DragonLily and RoseAndThorn
  





User avatar
153 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 32184
Reviews: 153
Tue Apr 04, 2017 10:36 pm
View Likes
Jagged says...



autumn gave you its coat of red. this
was how we knew. boars kissed the
bark of trees with their tusks and our
fingers were sticky with sap. i asked
if we should make fire and you laughed,
you said no, we are wild now, like animals.
i tripped on a root and you pulled me up,
you pointed at the sun when i thought
we might be lost. found ourselves on the banks
of the river, your eyes gilded with sunlight,
your hair wet and splayed like antlers.
we laid down on red leaves and there were
shapes inside of me that wore red too.
a hunter's heart, a hunter's mouth.
we held hands walking into the woods
but only one of us came out.
Lumi: they stand no chance against the JAG SAFETY BLANKET
  





User avatar
1081 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 220
Reviews: 1081
Tue Apr 04, 2017 10:41 pm
Virgil says...



Ugh your poetry is so lovely. I love that last one and especially the lines one through four, it's a great beginning to the piece.

Will Review For Food - Always taking review requests!

Discuss the last piece of media you consumed in Media Reviews!
  





User avatar
109 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 3563
Reviews: 109
Wed Apr 05, 2017 12:46 am
Nightshade says...



the gun unloaded, the past unspun,
the stamps quartered and drawn. i
walked through customs and had no
choice to make. here are my hands
and here is my body and here are
my papers and bags, all of them empty.


I really envy the sound of your poetry. Every time I read it I want to say it out loud because the words feel so good together. It doesn't feel like spoken-word poetry necessarily, but it feels like poetry that was meant to be spoken.
  





User avatar
475 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 461
Reviews: 475
Wed Apr 05, 2017 3:43 am
Apricity says...



I just want to say that, all your poetry is lovely. Its flow is smooth and gentle, and I love it so much. C:
Previously Flite

'And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.' ― Friedrich Nietzsche

~Open for business~
  








Knowledge is power.
— Francis Bacon