if I’d told you this was not a love story— would you still make promises for two?
(tell me something accurate)
(I know this is not what falls under your definition of ideal, but I gave you the nine of swords instead of the world— only some of the blame is mine. The truth is we are comets dreaming darkly and our fiery tales are burning up the firmament in the only way we know how to keep warm)
"Funniest Member -- Sachiko. Secretly the devil. Do not engage. I repeat, do not engage." -- Iggy
"Behold ye babes of grammar: the goddess Sachiko. She does what she wants." -- Lauren2010
the only way to look objectively at the past is through a helioscope of everything that went wrong.
(These ochre colored glasses mean four times out of five i will hear you say “i think you should walk the road less traveled while I keep to the path”, when what you were really telling me was “stay”.)
"Funniest Member -- Sachiko. Secretly the devil. Do not engage. I repeat, do not engage." -- Iggy
"Behold ye babes of grammar: the goddess Sachiko. She does what she wants." -- Lauren2010
i am a creature of fire and stone— a parenthetical of wrath whose name begins with envy and concludes with thorns threaded through my hair.
I have dreamt of being soft (A creation of edges that do no harm—) but the truth is I am a forged weapon and I am only indulgent when I remember what it was like to taste your skin.
(there is always someone who argues To let the minotaur out of the labyrinth, but we never could rebuild ourselves from the inside out unless we prepare to detonate, and every other choice is always better when faced with burying yourself alive.)
(I have already buried myself alive for you. I will not do it again.)
"Funniest Member -- Sachiko. Secretly the devil. Do not engage. I repeat, do not engage." -- Iggy
"Behold ye babes of grammar: the goddess Sachiko. She does what she wants." -- Lauren2010
all the soothsayers were wrong and this is the true end. rest easy now, darling—(but do not put down your sword). In peace there is an aftermath and the aftermath is a snake eating its tail—(this is what I know about snakes: the point at which they call you a deceiver is when you should gird your loins, sunshine, because shit’s gonna get rough).
(but shit’s been rough for a while now, hasn’t it? because this is what it looks like to live like an asteroid— we couldn’t pick smooth sailing out of a lineup even if it wore your man’s favorite shirt and whispered ‘there, sweetheart, all the soothsayers were wrong and this is the true end.’)
but we were warned and this is what happens when you swallow the arcana and are reborn as a star— you bleed holy knowledge when cut and to live like that is a sword through the heart that never quite gets hilt-deep. it is almost over, you are told. it is always almost over. it is always the truest end.
(and sweetheart, there are a thousand true ends. we will have the strength to see three and a half of them.)
"Funniest Member -- Sachiko. Secretly the devil. Do not engage. I repeat, do not engage." -- Iggy
"Behold ye babes of grammar: the goddess Sachiko. She does what she wants." -- Lauren2010
surely when you told me absolution is only a train crash away you didn’t mean for my hungry mouth to swallow another chance and leap a second time. (redoes and retries are all I have ever wanted from the world. even when you promised me dwarf planets and antonyms to all my sins I dug myself a grave in another body and went to the back of the line.)
god— I have built a thousand prayers In my bones but they all taste like someone else’s marrow.
"Funniest Member -- Sachiko. Secretly the devil. Do not engage. I repeat, do not engage." -- Iggy
"Behold ye babes of grammar: the goddess Sachiko. She does what she wants." -- Lauren2010
we collided in a tangle of candlewax and coral, bark mulch and rosary beads. (car crash statistics are not the Only mark of a protagonist. in the end it only matters if you were the one behind the wheel and if it was my foot on the gas.)
In the interim of a hell bent whirlwind made of steel and bone i learned the names of gods worried out of your context and patchwork quilted into mine— who only pick up the phone when I’m finally lost in the sea of myself. desperate for divinity and daydreams where what you coaxed from my throat was spectrum for closure instead of an asylum for ghosts.
"Funniest Member -- Sachiko. Secretly the devil. Do not engage. I repeat, do not engage." -- Iggy
"Behold ye babes of grammar: the goddess Sachiko. She does what she wants." -- Lauren2010
(my heart is a birdcall regurgitating wilderness in an urban ribcage. I am not built for fire, yet I am wholesome as an inferno, an elegy for mishapen things.)
I long to be a vicious lover with restless eyes and worried hands— but we are solitary diviners of wrist bone and cartilage.
(you told me my bones smelled like An apocalypse after rain, tender-soaked, A high rise for mistakes.)
This is the downfall for vicious lovers: we will bury you with our roots and build houses between your knees. We will eat the stars off of your chest. We will always be built for leaving.
(the fastest way to purge the land is to sink it in salt and turn me loose.)
"Funniest Member -- Sachiko. Secretly the devil. Do not engage. I repeat, do not engage." -- Iggy
"Behold ye babes of grammar: the goddess Sachiko. She does what she wants." -- Lauren2010
this is what it feels like: i am a dropped teacup at 3:17 in the morning, when my heart is too tired to see anything but stars and roses in my periphery (you have argued them to be supernovas and lilies-of-the-valley and I have told you that where I stand there is little to no difference when they all spell out d e c a y.) (it was this that prompted you to stop spiking my morning coffee with cyanide and technicolor daydreams— because what good is a girl who can’t even keep one foot on the ground when she’s elbow deep in somebody else’s excavation?)
(this is what it feels like: i am a broken teacup dropped to the floor at 3:21 in the morning, anchored in a bed of nightshade and black holes, desperate to see a sunrise that hasn’t been carved out of someone else’s name.)
"Funniest Member -- Sachiko. Secretly the devil. Do not engage. I repeat, do not engage." -- Iggy
"Behold ye babes of grammar: the goddess Sachiko. She does what she wants." -- Lauren2010
i have built you from spring— conjured you into existence by my cold muddy heart (because this is the part I forget about: the taste of creation is a sour eclipse I can’t embrace without swallowing cherry blossoms for anesthetic.)
i have rescued you from summer— coalesced from a honeybee harddrive where sights and sounds are hidden files in translation. (your skin has lost its splendor and now all I smell is the hot red impact of a fist hitting bone)
i have destroyed you in autumn— because the sound of dying leaves remind me too much of our last conversation (where my every word was splattered silver and pleading, and your only crimson reply was “no”.)
i have buried you in winter— but it is here where I will take your place, and cosign my name to all your insistent misgivings. I will take my sparrow’s heart and put it to ground and hope for better crops (I have never told you this is where you belong, but I have eaten enough lies in my life to know when words are past their date).
"Funniest Member -- Sachiko. Secretly the devil. Do not engage. I repeat, do not engage." -- Iggy
"Behold ye babes of grammar: the goddess Sachiko. She does what she wants." -- Lauren2010
i have never died in this space— here i am a linear expanse with a forgotten escape route. how can i tell you how this feels? ‘this is your brain. this is your brain with wolves for synapses’. (i have never seen the point of early risings to beat the tide. we are circular beings, even if we are compelled toward the things that make us bleed.)
"Funniest Member -- Sachiko. Secretly the devil. Do not engage. I repeat, do not engage." -- Iggy
"Behold ye babes of grammar: the goddess Sachiko. She does what she wants." -- Lauren2010
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