Young Writers Society

and the rest is rust and stardust

~Vladimir Nabokov

i.

"fly me to the moon and back"
while the stars shine into
the void of...my pupils.

cause y'know, all i've ever wanted
is to be that goddamn astronaut
who is /supposed/ to be
unbeatable.

you swore
that i wouldn't let myself drown
in the black holes of the galaxies.

instead you drove a blanket of
insanity into my spaceship:
seeped into my soul, cracked my bones.

too explosive to be contained
within a mere suit.
i'm sorry darling, but it:
had to come out, had to come out tonight

ii.

whhhispers whhhispers

why didn't you ever tell me darlin';
that you knew exactly how the
puzzle pieces of life fit together,
since you recreated my destiny. yesterday.

you made me bow down to my demons, sell my soul
to those bastards; they're
hidin' inside the cracks of my skull.

they scorched my defense walls --down to earth--
with gasoline and fireworks
leaving only fragments of dust behind.

(some packages are best left unopened,baby.)

nothing can set me free~
cause they won't let me go
oh no! they will never let me drive away:
from this sacred place
where my holy memoria lays.

whhhispers whhhispers

iii.

shards of glass collapse
from the atmospheric pressure,
carried by the wind patterns
that i designed for you.

i promised that you would never
get tainted by the bloody cuts,
but now darlin' it's my turn to
let you loose from the birdcage.

you see, i'm not as innocent
as the tracks on the white snow seem,
there are blood on my hands too.

from my view, a broken heart means that
both halves are on the opposite sides
of the bleeding sky.

The only way to get them uncut:
you--pretend to fly in the eye of storm.

iv.

in secret places (sunflower fields)
you once whispered to me:
"my mama told me that you're soul is special
--it's immortal"

now i travel through the
land laid waste where
all the sunflowers have cracked stems;
down to their bones

it's all a lie, the sun ain't about to fall down
to grant my escape, instead i'm going to
let the angels carry me up.

'cause iron is dropping on my chest
darkness swirls before my blank eyes
it's coming down down, coming down

a millisecond later, my soul is floating
in the feathers of my dreams
i'm gonna go up up up, gonna go a little higher

v.

we lay there with our eyes closed, you and me
on the green-tiled rooftop, sending shivers
down along our spines, tingling veins
pressed against you.

when we were still innocent we would
climb that rooftop to dance in the rain
and taste its teardrops from heaven;
the hailthumping like tambourines,
in tune to the beats of our hearts.

counting the clouds, counting the stars
all day, all night--when we were young--
never catching the sparks that existed
beyond.

back then, we didn't know that
there was a roaring passion
within us; that it could burn the whole
damn world down to ashes
(bits and pieces)

we just didn't know what lay beyond yet

vi.

you climbed an eternal tree of gold--grasping at straws--
to the top of the world-or what you thought was--
without every kissing me goodnight before
going to explore the lollipops in the universe.

your solemn vow means nothing,
promising that you'll build a tree-house from
the rickety plywood below, a haven that would keep
us safe from hail pellets.
(it ain't like heaven yet, don't come down)

when you left, there was only a pin-drop
of blackness left in my heart cause you've
pinched it, forcing the blood to gush out
of my chest (into the wide open)

there's no promise of florescent rainbows
on the other side once i enter.
i could be jumping on a rusty wagon painted
"risk" "hurt" "suicide mission".

even if we can't soar to find heaven
i'll take my chances of gliding through hell,
there's just no promise from the other side.